Living in the Spring Time
by seilleanmor
Summary: A sequel to Living is Easy and Living Out in the Snow. Castle, Beckett, and the kids at the cabin. My Castle Summer Hiatus 2016 Ficathon entry. As always, this is intended to fit with canon.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** If you're not familiar with the cabin universe, you can read Sting a Second Time, Living is Easy and Living Out in the Snow, but this story should make sense without that. This is them at the cabin in the future with their actual, canonical children. I can't believe I get to say that now. I hope you enjoy the ride.

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 _When the flowers bloom_

 _Living in the spring time_

 _ **Flowers Bloom**_ **, High Highs**

* * *

 **Living in the Spring Time**

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"Okay." Kate closes the lid of the suitcase and draws the zipper shut. She and Lily are sharing one, the twins are sharing another and Castle has one of his own, but it's also full of towels and sheets and things that wouldn't fit anywhere else. She thought just getting him packed on time was tough, but with three kids it's a nightmare.

The noise of the zipper makes Reece giggle and he bounces on the bed. He came in here to sit with her while she finished packing because Castle couldn't keep all three of them busy in the kitchen. Excitement has them wired. The boys play like cubs, roughhousing and roaring. Lily tries to keep out of the way, but sometimes she gets dragged in as well.

This morning, Kate came into the living room after her shower to find all four of them on the floor. Castle was on his back with the kids clambering all over his chest. When they saw her they froze and she laughed and dived right into the mix.

Her son is wearing a plaid shirt in red, white and navy with dark jeans rolled up a little at the bottom. It makes him look like a miniature version of his father. Kate and Castle have never dressed their sons the same, have always been careful to foster the boys' individuality. They get separate birthday cakes, and everyone sings happy birthday to Reece first and then Jake.

"We're all done, peanut butter cup. Can you go tell Daddy?"

Her son slides down to the floor and charges out into the living room. The twins have grown what feels like a foot over the past few months. They're getting gangly already, and she misses the comical wobble of that toddler run, their chubby little bellies.

In the living room she hears Reece's voice join the mix of anticipation that's been bubbling all morning. Even the dog has figured out something's happening, and Cosmo has been hopping around and nudging his gigantic head against Castle's thigh. The noise escalates, her boys clamouring for their father's attention. The dog starts barking and Kate waits for it.

"Hi Mom," Lily says from the doorway. "Can I help you?"

Their daughter has three years on her little brothers and at this age, it really shows. Lily has always been wise. As a baby, her enormous dark eyes would follow them around the room. She was quiet, watching everything that went on, and she's never really grown out of that. More often than not, when the boys get rowdy, she hides herself away someplace quiet.

Kate holds out an arm and Lily comes in for a hug. Her skinny arms wind around Kate's neck, and Beckett hides her nose in her daughter's hair. She cut it short not too long ago, wanting to look a bit more like Alexis. It suits her, but Kate misses the quiet time they would have playing hair shop together. She's happy to be the model, loves feeling the careful work of her daughter's slender fingers through her hair, but she misses getting to be hairdresser.

"I think we're all finished, sweet girl. If you want to you can find some of Cosmo's toys to bring and make sure we've got his coat."

Their daughter has always liked to keep busy, and since the twins were born four years ago she's looked to Kate and Rick for more and more responsibilities. "Okay Mom. What kinds of toys?"

"Nothing too big. Make sure you get things we can throw for him. And his fox."

"He'd be so sad if we forgot his fox," Lily giggles. The sound washes through Kate's chest like pure and clear water from a stream. Everyone marvels at Lily's resemblance to Kate, but when she smiles she's all Castle, all lopsided goofiness.

Kate tucks her daughter's dark hair back out of her face and kisses her forehead. "Hey, lilypad. Thank you for helping me."

"That's okay Mom."

Lily heads back for the living room. This time Beckett follows, stopping to pick up an errant toy from the floor on her way. Castle is in the kitchen packing snacks into Tupperware containers for the drive. He's got Jake on top of the counter next to him, apparently in charge of putting on the lids.

"Hi honey," Castle says without looking up. He's always had that sixth sense about her, but since they had kids it's only heightened. He can hear a footstep at the top of the stairs and know immediately which child is creeping down to climb into bed with them.

"Hey." She steals one of the carrot sticks from the pile Castle is chopping up. He grumps at her and she laughs and kisses the smudge of annoyance right off his mouth. "Everything's packed. Lily's getting Cosmo's stuff together, and then I think we're good to go once you're done here."

Jake reaches for her and Kate scoops him up, settling him on her hip. He lays his head in the crook of her neck and his fingers splay at her clavicle. He's always been clingier than his brother. There's only two minutes between them, but those two minutes have cast Jake firmly in the role of the baby.

"Hey little man," she murmurs to him. "Are you excited to go to the cabin?"

She gets a nod of confirmation and she kisses the top of his head. Castle has set the knife down to watch them, the edges of his face blurring with gratitude and adoration. Their son is resting on her bad hip and she has to put him down. She palms the back of his head instead, thumb smoothing over the soft shell of his ear.

"Bud, can you go check your backpack and make sure you've got all your games for the car? Ask your brother to check his too please."

The moment they're alone, Castle slides his arms around her waist and leans in to kiss her properly. His tongue just touches the very corner of her lips and she shivers. His warm palm rests over her side, and it helps to loosen the stiff muscles there. One bullet entered low down at her abdomen and exited through the back of her right hip. The other went clean through her shoulder. Healing was rough, and it was months before she could walk again. Even after seven years she gets aches, and she had to stop running and sparring.

"Are you ready for this?" he asks. It makes her laugh and she shakes her head. "I can't believe we've never taken them up there before."

"We've been busy."

Castle snorts, and his hand comes up to haunt his chest. The bullet hit him just right of centre, and lower than Kate's shooting at Montgomery's funeral. It nicked his ribcage and lodged at the bottom of his lung. He was sicker than Kate was, and he took even longer to heal.

In the hospital, Castle had insisted that they be allowed to share a room. It helped to wake up every morning, so grateful to be alive, and see her husband's pale face in the bed next to hers. He had to be patient while they reinflated his lung. Even after five years, Kate remembered all too well the searing line of agony down the centre of her sternum. Every day she watched him suffering and she sat with him, held his hand and stroked his hair.

He'd been telling her for years that she was forgiven for running that summer, but it wasn't until she got to be there for his own gunshot recovery that she really felt she'd paid her debt. She was discharged earlier than Rick was, but for those long months she spent every day sitting carefully in the chair next to his bed.

Their bodies are both battered and pockmarked with scars, but they have three little ones who keep them distracted. Keep them young.

"Daddy," their daughter says as she comes into the kitchen. She's got a grocery bag in both hands, the thing stuffed with the dog's toys and his leash, harness and coat. "Do you have Cosmo's food?"

"It's in that bag. You wanna be in charge of making sure it makes it to the car?"

Lily's chest puffs up a little in response to her father's smile. She's always been a daddy's girl, almost from the moment she was born. In the hospital Kate had lain exhausted as they stitched her back up. Rick had cradled their newborn against his chest, his shirt off so he was skin to skin with her.

"Welcome to the world, Lily Anna," he had whispered, and Kate's eyes had welled with tears for the hundredth time in an hour. After they were both shot, Kate came off her birth control for the recovery period, and she just never went back on. It was months before either of them really felt up to it, but they were lucky. She fell pregnant almost immediately.

Kate was still finishing up her physical therapy, and her determination to hold their baby when she was born was enough to get her through it. Castle stayed cheerful in the face of his own gruelling recovery. He didn't even seem to care that he wasn't allowed out of bed. Not when it meant he could lay with her for hours, his palm at the curve of her stomach, and dream about their child.

She loves watching the two of them together. Castle is quick to draw her in as well, and it makes her heart ache for him. He's such an amazing father, and seeing him with Lily makes her think of Alexis, how he had to do this alone.

Jake comes thundering down the stairs with Reece behind him. They both have their Star Wars backpacks slung over their shoulders and they join their sister and the dog beside the front door. Their kids are noisy and messy and she loves them more than her own self.

Castle finishes with the last of the snacks and she helps him load all of the containers into the cooler. There's bottled water in there too. Sometimes Kate is still overwhelmed by just how thoughtful her partner is, how much he relishes taking care of the people he loves.

"Okay," Kate says. "I've got peanut butter cup, you get Jake and Lily can wrangle the dog."

It takes a while to load everyone into the car. After the twins were born Castle traded in the Ferrari and the Buick and got an SUV. It's got enough space in the trunk for the luggage and Cosmo's crate, and the back is roomy enough for the twins' car seats and Lily's booster seat in between them.

Castle drives the first leg. It leaves Kate in charge of their music selection, and she chooses things their kids know the words to. They're a loud family. Rick loves to make up songs with the kids while they help him with dinner or he gives them a bath. In the back of the car, all three of them sing loudly and mostly in key. Lily's been getting singing lessons from her grandmother the past few months, so she takes it a little more seriously than her brothers. Kate and Castle join in too. Her husband is deliberately out of tune and the kids erupt with laughter.

After a half hour or so the twins get restless, so Kate passes animal crackers and an apple for each of the kids into the back. She's twisted in her seat, her shoulder against the back of it so she can keep an eye on Castle and the kids. Jake is directly behind her, so she has to struggle against the confines of her seatbelt to see him, but she can watch the other two.

"Mommy," Reece says around a mouthful of crackers. Kate shoots him a look and he hurries to finish chewing and swallow. "At the cabin is there toys?"

That makes Castle snort and Kate reaches out to shove on him. He glances in the rearview mirror to see their son. "No, peanut. Only the ones you guys are bringing with you."

Reece deflates, slumping against the side of his car seat, and his big sister pats his knee.

"There's other stuff to do there, right Mom?" Lily prompts. Kate turns her head for just a second to hide the amusement that haunts her mouth. She can't look at Castle either. All of their son's melodrama comes directly from Daddy, and half the time he only encourages it.

"Right." Kate reaches into the back of the car and wraps her hand around her son's little foot. He kicked his shoes off to be comfortable for the journey and his toes wiggle in her grip. "There's the lake to play in, and the woods to explore. You can make forts. We'll go to the farm and get to feed the animals. There's lots of things to do, don't worry baby."

Lily has a book in front of her nose and Kate keeps a firm eye on her. She's usually okay, but she's gotten carsick in the past and Kate would rather intervene before her daughter gets to the actual puking stage. Jake is playing with Star Wars figurines and making whooshing noises under his breath for the lightsabers. Reece was colouring with crayons for a little while, but now he's asleep. His cheek is mashed against the side of the car seat, his mouth open and a little bubble of drool at his lips.

"How's your pain today?" Castle asks quietly. They try to keep the kids mostly shielded from the physical things they battle every day, and his eyes dart to the rearview mirror to check they're not paying attention. "Shoulder okay?"

"Not too bad. I packed the icy hot gel. How about you?"

Castle gets stiffness in his chest, a ghost of the pain that lanced through him every time he moved after he was shot. It's aggravated by too much strenuous activity, and they have four year old twin boys, so most days he has some degree of discomfort.

"Okay for now. Probably gonna feel two and a half hours in the car tonight."

Kate reaches out to squeeze his thigh and earns herself a smile from him. She leaves her hand right where it is, even though it isn't exactly comfortable to stretch across the center console. "There's the bath, babe. The cabin's gonna be good for all of us. We can relax."

"You turn your phone off, Senator Beckett?"

"Stop."

He shrugs, his lips pressed in a thin line. "I'm just trying it on for size. See if you like how it sounds."

"I don't want to think about it. Not for this week. I'm off grid."

"Okay. Whatever you need honey."

Castle moves the car across a lane and flicks on the blinker as they approach the exit for a rest stop. They've been in the car for a little over an hour. Last night, they talked it out and agreed it would be better to stop a couple of times during the journey and let the kids walk around a bit. Hopefully it'll keep them from going stir crazy and turning on each other.

Castle unloads Jake and Lily and Kate heads around to the other side. Reece is still sacked out with his face pressed against the car seat. She sifts her fingers through his hair. His forehead is a little clammy with sleep sweat when she kisses him.

"Hi, peanut. Time to wake up."

"Are we here?" Reece asks. He blinks hard and looks around himself. One little hand comes up to scrub his eye.

Kate unfastens his belt and eases him out of the seat and into her arms. He's heavy, and she switches him to her good side. "We're at a rest stop. Do you need to use the bathroom?"

He thinks about it for a second, and then he nods. He's a little more awake now and Kate crouches down, balancing him on her knee. She has one hand tight around his waist and with the other she rummages in the car for his sneakers.

Once Reece's shoes are on they head across the parking lot. Kate keeps a tight hold of one of each of the boys' hands. Lily walks ahead with Rick, the two of them chatting together, but Kate can't make out what they're saying. She's distracted trying to make sure neither of her sons escapes and gets lost or hit by a car.

Her husband and their daughter are waiting just inside the rest stop. It's crowded with people travelling for spring break. Kate scoops up Jake and Castle gets Reece. Concern flares in her gut, as it does every time her husband does any lifting. He keeps reminding her that it's been seven years since they were shot, and carrying their son isn't going to damage him. After a moment, it passes. Lily tucks her fingers into the pocket of her dad's jeans to stay close and the five of them make their way further inside.

They packed snacks specifically so they wouldn't have to feed their kids garbage from the rest stop. Reece stares wistfully from over Castle's shoulder at the line for Burger King and Kate laughs. It makes his head whip around towards her and she pulls a goofy face at him.

Jake is heavy in her arms and Kate tightens them around him. Her eyes are on Lily, making sure she doesn't wander off because something caught her eye. It's not as bad now as when she was a toddler. There were times when their daughter was two or three years old that she'd disappear in the grocery store and PTSD would set them both off in tandem. It took years for them to stop obsessively checking for danger at every turn.

They come to a stop close to the entrance to the bathrooms and Castle sets Reece down. A heavy hand settles at the top of their son's head so he can't run away. Kate goes to put Jake down too but he wails and hides his face against her neck.

"Hey baby," she murmurs, turning half away so her back is to her son's siblings. "Mama needs to put you down, okay? You're such a big boy that you're getting a bit heavy. And you need to go to the bathroom with Daddy and peanut."

Jake grumbles, but he lets her set him down. The noises rumbling in his chest remind her of Castle when he's tugged awake before it's light out. He rises as if from hibernation, fuzzy and groaning and bleary-eyed.

"Okay, everybody needs to go to the bathroom, even if they don't feel like they need it," Rick says. He takes one of the boys' hands in each of his and the three of them disappear off towards the bathroom. The twins look almost like cubs, trotting along beside their father.

Kate laughs at the image and gets a questioning look from Lily. "I was just thinking about how Daddy is sometimes like a bear when he first wakes up. And then I thought the boys looked like bear cubs next to him like that."

"Kind of."

Lily hooks her arm around Kate's and lays her temple to her mother's bicep. "You okay, sweet girl?"

"I'm sleepy."

"You're doing a good job staying awake so far."

Lily always falls asleep during long car rides. When she was a toddler she'd be out cold the second she was strapped into the car seat, even if she was only going the few blocks to preschool. She's determined not to doze this time, because it always makes it harder for her to fall asleep at bedtime. And, Kate thinks, because she wants to be one of the grownups, wants to be awake to chat to her parents.

"Do you want to get another magazine?"

Lily looks up at Kate, her dark eyes huge in the pale moon of her face. "Am I allowed?"

"Sure," Kate grins. "We're on vacation. Let's go to the bathroom first though, okay."

Lily doesn't come into the stall with her mom anymore. She hasn't for the past couple of years, and something in Kate yearns for that tiny girl who always wanted to stick close. Kate helps her wash her hands, dispensing some soap into the cup of her palms, and Lily scrubs them clean.

They dry them side by side, and then Lily slips her hand into Kate's. Her fingers are small and slender, just barely spanning the breadth of Kate's palm.

They meet up with the boys outside the entrance to the bathrooms, the twins hopping around their father in a circle. Lily goes on ahead to join them, but Kate hangs back for a second to take it in. Sometimes she still can't believe this is really her life.

Lying on the floor of the loft with her lifeblood spilling from her chest and mixing with Castle's, she really thought it was over. That their story was going to end in tragedy. With the cold grip of his hand tight around hers, she almost didn't mind. And then she was waking up in the hospital to the awful sound of the machine breathing for her husband and gratitude washed her clean.

"Mama," Jake calls for her and she smiles, strides to meet her family. Her sons crash against her legs and she palms the back of each of their heads. Lily is making Rick smell her hands because the soap in the ladies' room was the same as the one they use at home.

"Why don't you take the kids and let Cosmo run around on the grass for a while and I'll get us some coffee?" Castle suggests.

Lily tugs insistently on Kate's hand and she chuckles. "I've got the boys. Lilypad can stay with you. Tell Daddy what I said once we're out of earshot, baby."

Outside, Kate frees the dog from the trunk of the car and keeps a tight hold of his leash. She's got Jake's hand, and Reece has a hold of his other so that they form a chain as they move across the parking lot. There's a fenced-in grassy area to let dogs stretch their legs and once they make it inside Kate unclips the leash.

They rescued Cosmo from a life of racing. The twins erupt with laughter as the dog's lean white body zips past them. He's fast, and they can't let him off the leash unless it's a secure area, but he works in short bursts. Twice a day they take him to the park to run around for twenty minutes or so, and the rest of the time he's happy to snooze.

Kate found a tennis ball in the trunk and she throws it for Cosmo to chase. The boys toss the ball for him a couple times too. Their patient, wonderful dog seems to raise an eyebrow at Kate before he trots the couple of feet to collect the ball and bring it back.

Castle and Lily come to find them and Kate shares a look with her daughter, gets a little nod in return. She got a magazine, then. She's an avid reader. When she was little she would curl up on the couch with Kate or Castle and they would read to her. These days she reads on her own, but she loves to discuss what she thought of the book once she finishes it.

Kate accepts the coffee from her husband and holds it to her sternum. There's a chill in the air, spring snapping in this year, and the lovely warmth of the cup floods her body. Castle winds his arm low down at her waist and tucks his fingers into her opposite pocket. They lean against the fence and watch their family racing through the grass together.

"Hey," Castle says softly. His lips form a shadow of a kiss at her cheekbone. "I'm so glad we made it."

"Me, too." Reece skids on a slippery patch of grass and goes to the ground. Before either of them can make sure he's okay Lily is sinking to her knees beside her brother and murmuring to him, helping him back to his feet. "We did good."

Once the kids and the dog have worn themselves out a bit more they load everyone back into the car. It's Kate's turn to drive now and she has to slide the driver's seat forwards a couple of notches so she can reach the pedals.

Now that Castle's in charge of the music the volume creeps up louder and louder. He makes specific choices rather than letting a playlist run interrupted. The kids do air guitar in the back, Reece kicking her seat until Castle reaches back to stop him. Even though she's driving and she can't really join in, it makes the journey go faster.

Excitement swells to fill the car once they're on the road that leads to the cabin. Even the dog pops his head up from the trunk and leans over, his long pink tongue darting out to lick Lily's face. Kate slows down the car just a little bit, so her kids can see the trees that bow gracefully over their heads. The woods are a riot of new spring growth and leaves skim the windows of the SUV as they drive.

She remembers being a kid and coming to the cabin for the first time. It had been amazing, and she wants so badly to recreate that awe for her own babies.

"First person to spot the cabin can have an extra portion of ice cream for dessert."

"Castle," she laughs, her eyes darting away from the road to look at him for just a second. "We don't even have any ice cream. Don't promise them things if you can't come through."

He reaches out and touches his thumb to the webbed scar tissue that mars the spot just below her collarbone. It's usually not too difficult to hide the shiny pink skin, but she's with her family today so she wore a shirt that lets it show. It's a habit of his, touching her scars, that started that first night together. Twelve years ago now, and she does wish she hadn't collected quite so many more in that time.

"We have to go grocery shopping anyway. We can get ice cream. We're on vacation."

"I see it!" Reece cries out. His little face is mashed against the window. Lily peers over her brother's shoulder and claps her hands together with glee.

Behind Castle, Jake kicks out against his car seat in frustration and wails. "Daddy, it's on Reece's side. Not fair."

The other two are distracted by the flashes of the house they can see through the trees, so Castle twists awkwardly in his seat and murmurs something to Jake. It appeases him and he does his best to see around his siblings' heads crowding the window.

"Babe," Kate says quietly. "Sit straight. Your chest."

"I'm fine." It's a little sharper than she was expecting and she flinches. It's as if her spine is tugged sharply taut and her hands tighten around the wheel. Castle blows out a long stream of air and he covers one of her hands with his. "Sorry, Kate. I'm sorry. Just- I hate not being able to keep up with them."

"You keep up just fine."

They reach the end of the driveway and Kate puts the car in park and cuts the engine. The kids are already clamouring to get out, trying in vain to open the doors. She unfastens her belt, but before she can get out and go free the beasts her husband's warm palm comes to the back of her neck.

He leans in close and presses his lips to hers. The kids erupt into groans of dismay, but Kate only smiles into the kiss and curls her fingers around his ear. After a moment he breaks away and smoothes his thumb over her bottom lip.

"You're a wonderful father. I love watching you with them. I'm so grateful to have you as my partner in this."

"Don't make me cry in front of our kids, Beckett," he huffs. It makes her laugh, and the film of desperate sincerity layered over them bursts.

The kids are growing rapidly rowdier in the back of the car and Kate shares a look with Castle before they both climb out. The moment the straps of the car seats are unfastened the three of them are off. They charge up the porch steps and hop impatiently from foot to foot in front of the door.

Kate fishes the keys from her purse and slides her free hand into Castle's. His fingers are thicker than hers and when he squeezes her bones crunch together, but it's good. It jolts her out of her strange melancholy and she's right back here with her family.

"Mom," Lily says when they reach the kids. "This is so awesome."

"Wait till you see out back." Castle lets go of her and hooks two fingers in the back of each of the boys' shirts to keep them out of the way while Kate unlocks the front door.

She gets it open and the five of them go spilling into the cabin. Jim was here not too long ago and he made some changes so that the cabin would be suitable for their family. There's a set of bunk beds and a twin bed in the room that belonged first to Kate and then to her husband as well. The room that used to belong to Kate's parents is hers and Castle's now. Her father has insisted, said he's happy for the room to be theirs, and she's given up trying to argue.

The kids run right through the living room and bump up against the French doors at the back. They stand in a line, three noses pressed to the glass. Castle put the camera in her purse before they left and he fishes it out now. He snaps a picture of their children, these beautiful creatures Kate still sometimes can't believe even exist. They made them, she and Castle. It chokes her and she lifts a hand to her throat.

"I know," Castle murmurs to her. "We made some pretty amazing kids."

His kiss is purposeful and sure, his tongue stroking past the seam of her lips. They've been married for almost ten years and still her body comes awake under his touch. Her hands slide up his chest and land at his shoulders, his fingers flexing at her hips.

He breaks away on a gasp and he leers at her. A hand slides inside her shirt and he brushes his knuckles over the bare skin of her abdomen. "Come on. Let's wear them out. Get them in bed nice and early."

"Mm," she sighs, her hips rocking towards him. "Good plan."

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 **A/N:** My eternal gratitude and love to the entire gang of people who looked this over for me. You are all so wonderful and generous with your time and your kindness. Allie, my cheerleader, my incredible cover artist and the best beta I could wish for, thank you. There's a playlist to go along with this fic which you can find on my twitter, seilleanmor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

They work together as a family to unload everything from the car. Even the boys have a job, and they look so pleased as they carry their own backpacks, their sister's, and Mommy's messenger bag inside. Lily takes Cosmo's leash in one hand, her grip tight. He's a sighthound, so if he sees anything in the underbrush he might charge off. He's patient too, though, and Castle is fairly sure the dog wouldn't drag Lily through the forest even if something did catch his eye.

"She's got it," Kate says teasingly. Her fingers slide inside of his shirt, cool and smooth at the soft skin of his sides. It sends a shiver rippling through him and he grunts. Their sons are inside, exploring the cabin, and Lily is just disappearing through the front door as well.

It gives them precious moments. He slides his hands to the swell of her ass and squeezes. Her body cants towards him on a sigh and she kisses him, her tongue warm and insistent. His wife has been shot four times, been pregnant twice, and still she's the most gorgeous creature he's ever seen. She'll turn forty five this November. Age has only mellowed her, made her more graceful and sure of herself.

"I love you," he says into their kiss. Kate returns the sentiment and they break apart. She cut her hair short again after the boys were born, because as babies they loved nothing more than to grab handfuls of it and yank until her eyes watered. It's grown out a lot now, falling past her shoulders again, and she tucks it back out of her face.

They follow the kids into the cabin with the bags from the trunk. Once the suitcases are inside, Kate calls for the boys and the two of them come thundering out of the bedroom. Lily is in the kitchen, filling Cosmo's water bowl for him. She's not quite tall enough to reach the faucet properly, and water is spraying all across the counter and dripping onto the floor. Her teeth cut into her bottom lip as she concentrates. It reminds him so much of Kate that his heart squeezes tight in love for both his wife and his baby girl.

"Here, Lilypad." He takes the dish from his daughter and sets it down on the floor. Cosmo bows his head to take a long drink from the bowl, his neck a graceful line. "Mommy, did you bring a stepping stool?"

"Grandpa said there's one in the garage," Kate calls back to him. She's on the couch with the boys now. Both of them have tried to take off their own shoes and gotten tangled, so she's putting them back on. She has Reece in her lap, one arm around his belly, and she keeps having to hook her free hand around Jake and draw him back down the couch so that he doesn't escape.

Castle ducks into the garage and comes back with the plastic stepping stool. He sets it in front of the sink in the kitchen and Lily hops up onto it, grabbing his arm for balance. "Here you go. Why don't we get a jug and you can use that to fill his bowl instead of having to pick it up."

He finds a plastic pitcher in the cabinet and he sets it down next to Cosmo's dishes for Lily to use. She was the one who really wanted a dog, the one who pleaded with them to consider it. Castle had been needling Kate about it for years, and with their daughter on his side Kate didn't stand a chance. Lily has blossomed under the responsibility, doting on Cosmo and making it easy for the dog to fit in with their already hectic lives.

Every morning Castle drops the kids at school and then he takes Cosmo to the park. They usually visit for a second time with the kids once they're done with school, unless the weather is against them. He loves watching his children and the dog race around the grass. If they're very lucky, Kate can carve a free hour out of work and come to join them.

"Okay," Kate says. The boys have both got their shoes back on properly and they're waiting by the French doors, little bodies thrumming with energy. "Let's go and explore a bit, stretch our legs."

The back doors are still locked, and they'll stay that way for the duration of the trip. They've heard too many horror stories, are too keenly aware of how easy it is for children to drown. The kids have floatie vests and they won't be allowed anywhere near the lake without Rick or Kate supervising.

The key still hangs on a hook in the kitchen, high enough that the little ones won't be able to reach. Castle snags it and heads for the door with Lily and Cosmo right behind him. He unlocks the door and they spill out onto the back deck.

"Lilypad," Kate calls out. "Why don't I take Cosmo's leash? You explore with your brothers."

Lily hands it over and Kate clicks the button to let Cosmo have the full scope of the extending leash. They pile down the steps, the five of them and the dog. The kids run on ahead, heading for the dock that juts out into the lake.

"Mama," Jake turns back to them. Their boys are so similar they almost seem identical, but Reece has chubbier cheeks and Jake has a straighter nose. Once you know them, their personalities make it almost impossible to get them mixed up. "Daddy. Cosmo could swim in the lake too?"

"Sure baby," Kate says. "We bought him a floatie vest too, remember? He might not like it though. Some greyhounds don't like to get wet."

Reece pats his mother's thigh. "We can just see, right Mommy?"

"Exactly peanut. We'll see."

Lily has tugged off her sneakers and socks and she's sitting at the edge of the dock, dangling her feet into the water. Castle isn't convinced that it's going to be very warm, not in April, but his daughter doesn't seem at all bothered. The twins sit on either side of their sister and start tugging at their sneakers again. It makes Kate huff a sigh and she passes Cosmo's leash to Rick so she can help their sons.

The twins' toes only just skim the surface of the lake when they dangle their feet over the edge. They seem pretty content with trying to splash each other and their sister. Lily wraps an arm around each of them and Jake lays his head against her shoulder.

"Don't move," Kate murmurs to Castle. "I'm gonna go grab the camera."

She's back in less than a minute and she frames a few shots of their children, silhouetted against the waning afternoon light. Insects hover above the surface of the water and fish leap out of the lake to catch them. It makes the kids cry out in surprise every time. Kate laughs, three fingers against her lips as if to trace the curve of her own amusement.

The kids will probably start grumbling for dinner fairly soon, but for now they're content. Once Kate is done with the photographs, Castle slides his hand into her free one. The dog seems to have realised they're staying here for a bit and he lays down on the dock, head resting on his paws. Rick gives the leash a little bit of slack and he turns his attention to his wife.

One eye is still on their kids at the end of the dock, but they're smart. He trusts Lily, and he and Kate are barely a foot away. "Remember the last time we were here?"

"It snowed," Kate smiles. "I had just married you. I can't believe it was nine and a half years ago."

"I can't believe we will have been married ten years in November," he says back. It makes her blush and she ducks her head on a smile. He loves this shy, girlish side of Kate even after knowing her for fifteen years.

Kate glances at their kids. They're laughing together, drops of water scattering all three of their pants. The air is getting chilly as evening rolls down from the mountains and Kate folds her arms across her chest. "So much has happened. But sometimes I still feel like a newlywed."

The confession makes his heart roll over in his chest and he reaches for her. He doesn't want to distract himself kissing her, not when their children are so nearby and so near to the water. Instead, he tucks the spill of her hair back behind her ears and he dusts his lips to her forehead.

"Love you."

"Me, too," she hums. "Hey guys? Who's hungry?" Their answer comes in chorus and she laughs. "Thought so."

The kids scramble to pull their feet out of the water and get their shoes back on. These days the twins don't like to accept help from Mom and Dad, so they stay back and let their sons figure it out for themselves. Jake has a much easier job with his buckles, but Lily has to help Reece tie his shoelaces. He thanks his sister with a wet kiss to her cheek, and Lily waits until he's not paying attention to wipe it away with the back of her hand.

"I have an idea," Castle says. Cosmo is leaping at the end of the leash, excited that the kids are moving, and Rick gives him a little bit more slack. "Why don't we get dinner at the diner tonight? I really don't feel like cooking, and I'm sure you don't either."

"Joe still owns it. I'm sure he'd love to finally meet the kids. Every time Dad's up here he tells me Joe's eager for us to come up."

Reece barrels into Castle's leg and he laughs and swoops his son up into his arms. It makes his ribs twinge in protest, but he ignores it and cuddles his son close. Reece isn't as much of a snuggler as his brother, and he'll probably start wriggling to get down in a moment. For now, Castle buries his nose in the folds of his neck and breathes in the smell of apple shampoo and leftover sleep.

They herd their family back towards the house and everyone uses the bathroom again. The sun is starting to sink into the lake now and dusk settles in the bowl of the mountains. Castle rummages in the bag of the dog's things in search of his jacket. It's grey with a fleece lining, to protect his skinny body from the cold. Castle whistles for the dog and Cosmo stands patient and still while he gets his jacket on.

Kate comes back with all three kids trailing along behind her in a line, as if they have their trunks wrapped around the tail in front of them. Adoration makes his heart contract hard and then expand again and for a moment he has to stay where he is on the floor.

The kids charge at him and he laughs, opening his arms to his three youngest and holding them close. Kate's fingers sift through his hair, her thumb rubbing the shell of his ear the way he sees her do to their children all the time.

Reece is trying to clamber up Castle's body, Jake is balancing on his thigh and Lily has her skinny arms tight around his neck. The dog licks his face and he twists to get away. It sends a searing line of pain up the right side of his body and he grits his teeth.

His wife notices, as she always does, and she whistles sharply. It's the police one, the one that makes the kids and Cosmo snap firmly to attention.

"Let's let Daddy off the floor so we can go and get dinner."

Castle gets to his feet with a groan that's not entirely to make his kids laugh. The dog nudges his nose into Kate's thigh and she scratches absentmindedly at his crown.

"Beckett I don't think we should leave him here while we get dinner. He's not used to the house yet. I don't want him to panic and destroy anything."

Lily giggles, her head dipped low to share the amusement with her little brothers. The twins don't seem to really understand the joke, but they laugh along and hop around their sister in circles.

He doesn't call his wife Beckett very often these days. They don't work as partners anymore, so he doesn't have to maintain that professionalism. She's his wife, the mother of his three youngest children. She's. . .she's Kate. Whenever it does slip out, their daughter latches on right away and teases her mother with the name for the rest of the day.

Kate settles a hand at the top of Lily's head and ruffles her hair up. It makes her abruptly stop laughing and smooth it back down, the tip of her tongue poking out at Kate.

"I thought so too. Joe has a specific part of the diner where you can sit with your dog. We can bring him."

"Yay!" the kids cheer. Jake gets his hands either side of the dog's long face and leans in until they're nose to nose. "You can come to dinner, Cosmo."

The dog licks a long stripe up the middle of Jake's face and he shrieks. He wipes the slobber on Castle's jeans and gives him a sly look. Castle has long resigned himself to being covered in dirt and slime and food, so he only shrugs and scratches behind the dog's ear.

Being in the car makes all three of their kids sleepy. By the time they make it back into town they're waning, but all three of them are still awake. Kate parks the car in the lot in front of the grocery store and they let the kids out. When Castle unfastens Jake's seatbelt he stays right where he is and scrubs his eyes. His little mouth opens wide on a yawn. Castle chuckles and scoops his son out of the car seat.

Jake's body is warm against his chest and his soft breaths puff against the skin of Castle's neck. Lily has the leash tight in her grip and Kate's got Reece's hand. They head for the diner, Castle lagging behind a little bit. He hates to admit it, but since he was shot his body has grumbled and groaned at him whenever he's asked too much of it. He's not young anymore, not by a long shot, but he will carry his sons until the day they decide they're too big.

Inside, they head for a booth big enough for the five of them. It's close to the door and there's a water bowl laid out that Cosmo immediately drinks from. Castle slides into the booth with Jake still in his arms, and Reece and Lily sit opposite him.

Kate goes to find Joe. The kids crane their necks to watch their mother, even Jake lifting his heavy head from Castle's shoulder to see where she's gone. When Joe sees her he wraps his arms around her tight enough that she almost comes off the ground. There's a lot of loud laughter, a vibrant spill of emotion from Joe that is echoed by Kate as if in the surface of a pond, rippling and a little less sharp.

"Daddy? Does Mom know that man?" Lily asks.

The waitress has set water down for them all already. The twins have theirs in paper cups with straws, but Lily has a glass like the grownups and she traces a fingertip around the rim of it.

"Mommy has known Joe since she was the same age as you are now, Lilypad. Back when she used to come to the cabin with Grandpa and Grandma."

Kate heads back towards the booth with Joe's arm hooked through hers. As they approach Castle stands up again. He tries to ease Jake down onto the seat but his son whines and clutches at Rick's shirt. Castle keeps him close, managing to free up one arm so he can shake Joe's hand.

"Good to see you again, Sir."

"Great to see you Rick," Joe says warmly. "Don't leave it nine years next time, alright?"

It makes Castle and Kate laugh. The kids are watching in silence, fascinated as always by their parents' interaction with other adults. Kate lays a hand to Jake's back and ducks in close to kiss the crown of his head. "We've been busy."

"I see that." Joe extends a hand to Lily and their daughter takes it confidently, giving Joe her best smile. "Nice to meet you. I'm Joseph. What's your name?"

"Lily."

"Well, Lily, you look just like your mother did when she was about your age. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Reece holds his hand out next and Joe laughs and shakes it. Their son has all of Rick's charm, and already Joe looks smitten with him. "I'm Reece. I'm older than Jake by two whole minutes."

"Two minutes, wow." Joe whistles through his teeth and the dog perks up, poking his head out from underneath the table. "It's nice to meet you Reece."

Jake lifts his head and smiles at Joe, apparently comfortable with the stranger now that his brother and sister have said hello first. Joe introduces himself to Jake as well, and Castle's heart fills up with gratitude.

They settle back into the booth again and Kate slides in as well this time, opposite Castle. Reece clambers across his mother's lap so that he and Lily are either side of her. Jake seems a little more awake now and he lets Castle put him down, getting comfortable beside him on the bench seat instead.

"You guys take a look at your menus and I'll be back to get your orders in a few minutes. And it's on the house Katie, no complaining."

Kate opens her mouth to argue but Joe is already disappearing. When she turns back around Lily is frowning at her, mouth open. "Mom. I thought only Grandpa calls you Katie?"

"When I was a little girl, everybody did. Like how we call you Lilypad. When I went to high school I changed it to Kate because I wanted to feel more grown up, but Grandpa and Grandma and everyone who knew me before still called me Katie."

Lily's face scrunches up. "Are you and Daddy still gonna call me Lilypad when I'm. . .when I'm thirty."

A laugh bubbles up in Rick's chest and he lets it free, sharing an amused glance with his wife across the table. "I'm afraid so. Like how I still call your sister pumpkin."

"Great," Lily sighs. She picks up her menu and buries her nose in it, but her eyes keep darting to her mother beside her. Sure enough, Kate wraps an arm around their daughter's shoulders and leans in close, pressing hot kisses to her cheek and neck.

"Sorry, baby. You're stuck with us."

Lily sighs again, but her body rests against Kate's side and a smile haunts the corners of her mouth.

The waitress left crayons and colouring sheets for the kids along with the menus. Kate has swiftly collected up the three little packages and she holds them hostage while their kids decide what they want to eat. If they're allowed to start colouring it's impossible to get a decision out of them.

Joe comes back to take their orders himself. Kate gets a chicken salad, and orders chicken tenders for the boys and a burger for Lily. Castle gets a burger as well and his daughter sends him a pleased little look from across the table.

"Mommy," Reece lays his head against Kate's shoulder and blinks up at her. He inherited her long lashes and they feather almost against his cheeks. "We can colour now?"

"Sure peanut." Kate opens a package of crayons for each of the boys and passes them over. "Lilypad, you want yours?"

She thinks for a second and then she nods and accepts the packet from her mom.

While the kids are somewhat distracted with the colouring in front of them, Castle reaches across the table for his wife's hand. She turns hers over beneath his so she can lace their fingers together, and she circles her thumb at the base of his.

"Good to be back here?"

"Yeah," she murmurs. "Kind of weird. But it's nice. I'm-" she pauses and swipes a hand over her face. "Glad Joe's still around."

Castle chuckles and squeezes her fingers in his. "I think we have a fairly skewed perception of how close to dying most people come over the course of their lives."

It makes her laugh too, which was all he was looking for. Jake shifts to get his knees underneath himself in the booth so he can lean over his colouring paper a little more. His tongue pokes out and he frowns as he tries to stay inside of the lines. Reece has already scribbled all over his sheet and he's moved on to the spot the difference part of the sheet.

"Senator gig would be safer," Kate muses.

She's being groomed to run for state senate, but his wife is finding the decision even more difficult than that summer almost nine years ago. They've got kids now, young kids, and he knows Kate is desperate not to miss a second of them growing up.

"Maybe too safe?" He's been her foil for a lot of the talking it out, playing devil's advocate so she can weigh the pros and cons. "All that bureaucracy."

"I don't want to do this now." She squeezes his hand, but her words were soft and he already has a smile ready. "Let me enjoy dinner with my family."

Jake pats Castle's thigh to snag his attention and he shifts over in the booth to get closer to his son. "You okay buddy?"

"Daddy, you can help me with the word search?"

He wraps an arm around Jake so he can see a little better. Kate arches one elegant eyebrow at him. She rummages in her purse and passes his reading glasses silently over to him. The words sharpen into focus and he blinks hard a couple of times.

"See this letter here. Do you know this one?"

"It's a D! Like for Daddy."

"Right. So see if you can find another one just like it in the word search."

They carry on until the food arrives. Kate helps Lily and Reece with their own activity sheets. Her main job seems to be stopping the crayons from rolling off of the edge of the table, but she wears an easy smile. The way she looks at their kids makes Castle's breath come short and he has to focus on Jake.

A couple of waitresses bring their food out to them, but Joe is right behind them. He slides into the booth beside Castle and he chats with them while they eat. Kate shares with him a heavily abridged version of how they got to where they are now. Their kids have seen their scars of course, but they don't seem to really understand where they came from.

When they watch action movies and people get shot, the boys yell out in that childish mix of delighted horror, and they don't for a second imagine that it could have happened to their parents.

By the time everybody's finished eating, it's getting pretty late. Castle is proud of his children, that they've remembered their manners and nobody has pitched a fit. Jake is slumped in the booth now, his cheek to Castle's arm and his eyes only half open.

Reece's jaw cracks wide on a yawn and he crawls across into his mother's lap. One arm comes around him and with the other she smoothes his hair down.

"Looks like you should be getting these guys home," Joe says. "I'll let you go, but stop in again before you go back to the city."

"Please let us pay for something. There's five of us now, it's not just free hot chocolate anymore."

Joe waves a hand at Castle in dismissal. "Absolutely not. After everything the Becketts have done for me over the years, it's my pleasure to feed Katie's family."

He opens his mouth to try again but Joe is already getting up from the booth, his hands over his ears. Kate stands as well, Reece still in her arms, and she accepts a kiss to her cheek from Joe.

"Thank you for our dinner, Mr. . ." Lily trails off and darts a glance to her mother for help.

"Joe's fine, doll. It's my pleasure. You be good for Mom and Dad now, you hear?"

Castle eases his way out of the booth with both arms around Jake. Their son is out already, just that fast. He's heavy in Castle's arms, his mouth open against Castle's neck. Kate has one arm under Reece and she palms the back of Lily's head with her free hand to keep their daughter close. Even the dog seems suddenly exhausted, dragging his feet as Lily walks him out into the parking lot.

The keys are in the pocket of Castle's jeans and he shifts Jake as out of the way as possible so that Kate can get them. Once the kids are all strapped into their car seats and Cosmo is in the trunk, Kate stops him with a palm against his chest.

"I'm gonna go get some cereal and milk for breakfast tomorrow. We'll have to come back and get real groceries, but I can't face doing a full shop now."

"Good plan." He kisses her cheek as she heads past him towards the store. It makes her falter, and she turns her head to kiss him properly. He tastes the zest of the salad dressing and underneath, his so-familiar wife.

She breaks apart from him and disappears inside the store, and he climbs into the driver's seat. The twins are sacked out in their car seats, looking far more similar asleep than they do when they're awake. Lily meets his eyes in the rearview mirror and he twists in his seat to see her.

"Thank you for your good manners with Mommy's friend, Lilypad. I'm proud of you."

"He was really nice." She yawns wide, remembering at the last second to hide her mouth behind her palm. "I liked his stories about when Mom was a little kid."

Castle chuckles and reaches back to squeeze his daughter's foot. "It's funny to think of Mom being your age, huh?"

"Yeah. I've seen those pictures at Grandpa's house, but stories are different. Mom was silly."

"Mom is still silly, isn't she?" Castle says. When he first met Detective Beckett, fifteen years ago now, he never would have guessed just how goofy she can be. He's seen her team up with their kids to prank him, seen her tell jokes and pull faces and chase their children around the loft.

Lily cracks on a grin and murmurs her agreement. Their daughter has always been a little in awe of her mother. She wants so badly to impress Kate, for her to think she's smart and good and kind, that it makes her almost shy.

Kate appears from the store then. Castle pretends like he's watching his wife, but really he's watching Lily's face as her mother comes towards them. She has that same confident stride. Illuminated in the beam from the headlights she looks other-worldly, like a divination of God. And then she tugs open the door and peeks into the back to grin at Lily and she's just Kate again.

"Hey Lilypad. I got Lucky Charms. Vacation treat." She fastens her seatbelt and Castle turns on the engine, eases the car smoothly out of the lot.

He has always loved driving at night. There's something solitary about it, something peaceful. He loves to put on a haunting playlist and bask in the splendour of the universe. Every time he checks the rearview mirror he sees the pale moon of his daughter's face in the back of the car.

It sends a strange mix of melancholia and gratitude through him and he plucks a hand from the wheel, searches blindly for his wife. She slides her fingers into his immediately.

"Kate. Thank you. Thank you for our life. For our kids."

"You're really tired, huh?" she teases.

He grumps, but it does shake him out of it. Kate's phone has connected to the bluetooth in the car and it starts playing automatically. She sings softly, careful not to wake the boys, and Lily's voice joins in as well.

When they make it back to the cabin they carry the boys inside and lay them down on the bottom bunk. The sheets are still packed in one of the cases. They leave them there, fast asleep with their bodies curled towards each other, while they make up the beds.

Lily gets the top bunk, partly so the boys don't argue over it but mostly because four years old still seems too young to be up there. Once the sheets are on, they change the boys into their pajamas. Jake stirs a little when Kate eases his shirt over his head, but Reece stays out all through it.

They leave Jake in the bottom bunk and move Reece over to the twin bed against the other wall. Castle tucks Jake in and brushes the hair back away from his forehead. He kisses his cheek and wishes him sweet dreams, and then he and Kate switch to say goodnight to the other.

Out in the living room, Lily is on the couch with Cosmo standing beside her, his head in her lap. "Mom, can he come onto the couch?"

"Oh, why not?" Kate shrugs. Lily pats the cushion and the dog hops up and makes himself comfortable. Kate squeezes herself in between Lily and the arm of the sofa, their daughter ending up sprawled half in her mother's lap. "Bed in half an hour Lilypad, okay?"

There's a blanket draped over one of the armchairs and Castle tucks it around the two of them, careful to get Lily's feet inside. He settles himself in the armchair, happy to watch his girls talking together.

When Johanna Beckett died, Kate lost the mother/daughter relationship in her life. And then Lily was born, and Kate got that relationship back. It's not the same, of course not, but watching Kate with their daughter it seems as if she's been waiting her whole life for this girl to be in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

"I really like it here, Mom," Lily murmurs. Her head is heavy against Kate's shoulder and her hair tickles the bottom of Kate's chin. She has both arms around her daughter, so she feels the energy slowly melting out of her like water circling a drain. "It's quiet."

Kate's lips brush the top of Lily's head and she breathes in the familiar smell of her little girl. When Lily was a baby, Kate would sit for hours in the rocker with her asleep against her chest. Her lips would smack together as she dreamed. She smelt like baby powder and sleep, her little body so warm in Kate's arms. She's a lot bigger now, of course, but Kate's heart still cries out for the piece of itself that Lily carries.

"It is very quiet. Tomorrow evening, we'll go sit outside for a while and listen to all the sounds of the woods. While Daddy gives your brothers a bath."

From the armchair, Castle makes a soft sound somewhere between acknowledgement and affront. It's mostly for show. She knows how much Rick loves bathtime, how he gets down on his knees beside the tub and splashes with the boys. He's not even really listening to Lily and Kate talking. He pulled a book from the shelves and he's pretty absorbed. Every few minutes, he pushes his reading glasses back up with one finger.

It gives Kate and Lily some peaceful time to talk. This is one of Kate's favourite parts of the day, after the boys are asleep, when she gets to catch up with her quiet, smart daughter. Every day there are stories from school to share, drawings to show off and books to discuss. It might not be long before Lily grows out of wanting this snuggle time, grows out of wanting to share with Kate, so she's clinging tight with both hands while she still can.

"How many times has Daddy been here?"

"Three times. The first time was when Daddy and I had just started dating. We'd known each other for a pretty long time, but you remember the story?"

Lily perks up just a little bit. Underneath the blanket, her little hand finds Kate's and she traces her mother's fingers over and over. "Daddy knew when he met you that you were going to be very important to him, but it took you a while to know that Daddy was right for you, too."

"That's right." Kate darts a glance to her husband and sees his lips pressed together in barely contained amusement. His eyes never leave the page, and Kate returns her attention to Lily. "But when we started dating Daddy was already my best friend. So I knew right away that I wanted to bring him here, because it's special to me."

"Did you have fun?"

"We did."

For a moment, Kate tips her head against the back of the couch and closes her eyes. It was such a long time ago, but she still remembers the wonder and the joy of those long hours alone with Castle. Getting to show him the treasured memories of her childhood, getting to finally have him.

"Mama?" Lily's pointy elbow nudges against Kate's stomach.

"Mm?" She lifts her head and opens her eyes to see her daughter's inquisitive face looking up at her. "Sorry baby. What did you say?"

Lily shifts on the couch and curls her legs up. She's sideways in Kate's lap now, leaning on her arm, and her eyelids drag with each blink. "What were the other times?"

"The second time, Daddy and I had just gotten married. Do you remember what month our anniversary is in?" Lily gives the right answer, and pride drags her out of her sleepiness for just a moment to grin at Kate. "So we came here for New Year's Eve. It was our first one as husband and wife."

"What is the cabin like at Christmas time?" Lily's words are slurring now. She's fading, and her fingers fist in the fabric of Kate's shirt as if to anchor herself to consciousness.

Kate tucks the dark, sleek spill of Lily's hair back behind her ear, and she rubs her thumb over her daughter's cheekbone. "The lake was frozen. We skated on it. And we built a snowman and made s'mores in the fireplace. And we saw a bear."

"That sounds so good."

"The third time we were here," Castle says as he gets out of his chair. He comes to sit beside Kate on the couch and the dog shifts to rest his head in Castle's lap. "It was because I punched Mommy in the face."

A tiny gasp escapes their daughter and her dark eyes fly open. She narrows them immediately at her father and jerks a skinny foot in his direction. "You hit Mom?"

"It was an accident," Kate appeases her. "Daddy was dreaming and he smacked me while he was asleep. I wasn't upset or mad."

"I was," Castle mutters. It piques Lily's interest and she scrubs a hand over her eyes as if to force them open. "I felt really guilty about it, Lilypad. Because I knew that it hurt, even if Mom was being brave. And because Uncle Kevin and Tio knew that I would never hit Mom on purpose, but strangers on the street might think that I did."

The blanket slips down a little bit when Lily wriggles. Kate snags it in her fist and tucks it tight around her daughter, keeps Lily cocooned in the warmth of it.

"I brought Daddy here because I used to come here whenever I was scared or sad or hurt. It was somewhere that I could go that would make me feel better. But once I got married to Daddy I didn't need to come here to feel better. I only needed him."

Lily is already asleep, just that quickly. Her lips are parted and her breath makes the ends of Kate's hair dance. Beside her on the couch, Castle slides an arm around Kate's shoulders and he kisses the corner of her mouth.

"Want me to carry her through to bed?"

"Not yet. Let me hold her for a minute."

The urge to rock Lily bubbles up inside Kate and she pushes it down, stays perfectly still beneath her sleeping child. After a while her arm begins to go numb under Lily's weight and she whispers for Castle to take her. He stands up from the couch and slides both hands underneath their daughter, lifting her against his chest.

They pad through to the kids' bedroom together, Kate's body brushing Castle's back as they go. She peels back the covers on the top bunk and Castle lifts Lily over the bars and into the bed. It's too high to kiss Lily goodnight, so Kate tucks the covers tight around her and brushes her fingertips over her daughter's cheek instead.

Castle has an extra few inches on her. It means he can lean over and dust his lips to Lily's forehead, murmur to her. "Goodnight, Lilypad. Sweet dreams. Mommy and Daddy love you."

In the bottom bunk, Jake stirs and his dark eyes come open. He scrubs a hand to his cheek and frowns. "Mama?"

Sinking to her knees beside the bed, Kate tucks the covers around him a little tighter. He sighs and turns his face into the pillow, his eyes already closing again.

"Go back to sleep baby. It's not morning yet."

She checks on Reece, but he hasn't so much as rolled over since they put him to bed. Kate kisses the crown of his head where his hair gets spiky. In the doorway, she waits for Castle to share a quiet moment with each of the boys. He comes to join her and he hooks his arm through hers as they head for the living room.

Cosmo is still on the couch and when they sit he drapes himself over both of their laps. Kate gets his head and she smoothes her fingers over the dog's silky ears while Rick scratches his belly.

"It's so good to be here with them," he starts. Something about being at the cabin has always made the two of them get bogged down in emotional conversations. Having the kids here should stop them from getting so melancholic with gratitude, but they're tired and it's getting late and she's full up with love for him and their life.

"It is. And with you. I can't believe how long it's been."

Castle chuckles and twists on the couch to face her a little bit more. "It's not like we haven't been busy. I can't wait to relax for a whole week. It feels like it's been forever."

It's not late enough for bed yet, but she might fall asleep if she stays on the couch. Kate eases her way out from beneath the dog and gets up. Stretching her arms up over her head, she arches her back and hums a sigh as the stiffness floods out of her spine.

Warm fingers flirt with the exposed strip of skin at the bottom of her skirt. Castle grunts and clutches at her, tugs until she's off balance. She falls right into his lap. The dog grumbles at them and hops down from the couch, pads to curl up in the armchair instead.

Castle's hands thread into her hair as he kisses her. His thumbs rub at the base of her skull and she shivers, hips rocking against his. His tongue is hot and insistent, slipping past the seam of her lips. Kate breathes raggedly through her nose and clings to his ears.

"I want you," he says into her mouth. "Kate. Bed?"

"Yeah." His hips jerk upwards and tension pools low down in her gut. " _Oh_. Yes."

* * *

"That was kind of weird." Kate is on her stomach in the bed that once belonged to her parents. She's wearing Castle's t-shirt from today. The neckline gapes on her and his fingers keep coming back over and over to tuck inside in search of bare skin. Her lips are swollen from his kiss, and from biting on them so she wouldn't wake their sleeping children.

"Really? I thought it was pretty great."

She laughs and struggles upright. "No, it- it was. Just. . .I'm still kind of thinking of this as my dad's room."

"We're the mom and dad now." Castle brushes her hair back where it's clinging to her neck. He kisses her, soft and lazy.

As he lies back he keeps a hold of her so that she ends up draped over him, the two of them propped half against the headboard. Castle is shirtless and the skin of his chest is warm beneath her ear. The rise and fall of his body lulls her and she sighs.

"Don't let me fall asleep this early. I'll be up at four."

"We should probably unpack while they're asleep. I meant to get Cosmo's crate out of the trunk."

Kate climbs out of bed and kneels beside her suitcase on the floor. She finds her sweatpants and pulls them on, leaves Castle's shirt on too. Most of their stuff is still on the floor in the entryway and she heads to put it away. She can't unpack the kids' clothes yet, but she puts the twins' plastic dishes in the kitchen. They're white and patterned with dinosaurs and the boys love them.

When the front door opens it lets the chill of the evening come rushing inside. Castle hurries to close it behind himself, struggling with the dog's crate in his arms. He finally manages right as Kate's getting up to help him and he huffs a breath of relief.

"Where do you want to put him?"

"I think in that space just next to our door. I don't want the crate to get in the way. And we'll be able to hear him if he whines to go outside."

The moment Castle puts the crate down, Cosmo trots inside and curls up on his bed. His head rests on his paws and he watches them as they track back and forth through the cabin putting things away.

Kate dumps all of her clothes in one drawer, far too lazy to organise them right now. It makes Castle laugh and he copies her, emptying his part of the suitcase into the drawer underneath hers.

"It's ten," he announces. "Perfectly respectable time to go to bed. Come on."

He disappears into the bathroom next to their bedroom to use the toilet and clean his teeth. While he does that, Kate pads through the cabin. She makes sure that the doors are locked and turns out all the lights except the one in the hallway outside the kids' room. Their door is cracked open a slither, and she doesn't want them to wake up in the night to the pitch darkness of the woods.

She checks Cosmo's bowl to make sure he has fresh water and then she hooks his leash to his collar and takes him outside to go to the bathroom.

"Good boy," she says when they're back inside. "We'll try and figure out some time for you off-leash."

The dog tilts his head as he regards her. Kate smiles and scratches behind his ears, stoops to kiss the soft crown of his head. Cosmo curls up in his bed again and Kate heads for the bathroom, passing Castle on her way. He hooks an arm at her waist and swings her around, pressing a wet kiss to her mouth as they spin. She laughs, shaking her head at him, and she closes the bathroom door on his happy face.

By the time she climbs into bed with him, he's almost asleep. He's on his stomach, the sheets pulled up to his chin. When she lies down beside him he grunts and reaches for her. Sleep makes him clumsy and his large hand lands half against her face. His fingers pet her hair and she captures his hand in hers, traps it against her chest.

"Night, babe."

"Mm," he sighs. One eye peels open and the corner of his mouth twitches into an almost smile, as if someone has tugged on a thread stitched there. "Night honey. Love you."

Kate curls tighter onto her side and closes her eyes. It feels like only seconds later that she jerks awake. Her pulse thunders in her throat and she presses a hand to her chest, breathing raggedly. The red blink of the clock on the nightstand tells her she's been asleep for four hours.

"Mama," the voice cries again.

She stumbles, bleary and mostly still asleep. The sheets tangle around her and she goes to her knees on the hardwood, bites out a curse. She can hear the soft whimpers of her son now and she hurries upright again, stumbles her way along the hall to the kids' room.

The light from the hallway cuts a slice in the hardwood and she pads to Reece's bedside. Fat tears roll down his cheeks, his mouth open in dismay. Kate glances at the bunk beds, but Jake and Lily still seem to be out cold.

"I'm here baby," she whispers to Reece. Sliding both arms under him, she lifts him into her arms and cradles him to her chest. "It's okay, Mommy's here. I've got you. Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yeah." His voice is pitiful and Kate holds him tighter. She still feels a little off balance, but she makes her slow way back to her own bedroom.

It's an awkward production to get under the covers without letting go of her son or waking her husband, but she manages. Drawing her knees up, she lets her body curl around Reece and she smoothes his hair back out of his face. His crying has dwindled into little sniffles now, and her lips skim his forehead.

"Did you wake up and not know where you were?"

"Yeah."

He hides his sorrowful face against Kate's chest and she rubs a palm up and down his back. "It's okay, sweet peanut. Don't cry now. You're safe. Mommy and Daddy are right here."

Next to them in the bed, Castle grunts and rolls onto his back. His eyes open and he peers at them. The darkness of the cabin is thicker, more textured than it is in the city. He struggles to see and he scrubs a hand over his face.

"Which one is that?"

"Daddy." A little hand starfishes against Rick's cheek, scratching against his stubble.

"Hi, Reece. Okay, my man?"

Castle's heavy arm lands over them both like a felled limb. It makes a burst of wet laughter erupt from their son and he squirms. His elbow jabs into Kate's sternum and she huffs a breath. Her lips are right next to Reece's ear and she kisses the soft down of his lobe.

"Okay now baby?"

"Mommy," he whispers. His hand fists in the neckline of her shirt and he snuggles in closer to her. "I can stay here?"

She glances at Castle to see if he objects, but he's asleep again with his arm still tight around the two of them. Reece's hair is a little damp with sleep-sweat when Kate sifts her fingers through it, and she leaves her palm resting at the curve of his skull.

"Of course you can stay with me."

* * *

When Kate wakes up, for good this time, Castle and Reece are both gone. Instead, Lily is next to her in the bed. They're nose to nose, close enough that Kate feels the sweet wash of her daughter's breath over her chin.

"Good morning Mom."

"Mm, morning Lilypad." She rolls onto her back and arches. Sleeping always leaves her a little bit stiff and she rolls her shoulders experimentally. No pain, and she lets a grin unravel across her mouth. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. This morning I forgot I was in the top bunk. I almost fell on the floor."

She's giggly this morning and Kate laughs too, so pleased to be sharing in her daughter's joy. "I'm glad you remembered just in time. Where's Daddy and the boys?"

"Having breakfast. Daddy said to come wake you. He said you'd be grumpy if you didn't get up soon."

Rolling onto her other side, Kate puts her back to her daughter for just a moment so she can see the clock. It's rapidly approaching nine, but regret doesn't bubble up inside her like it would have ten years ago. She isn't wasting the day. They're on vacation, and she needs to catch up on sleep.

"Come on then. Did you have some cereal?"

"I waited for you," Lily says as she scrambles out of bed.

Kate chases her out into the living room, catching up when they make it to the breakfast table. She bands an arm around her daughter's middle and draws Lily back against her chest, kissing the warm skin of her neck. Lily shrieks and writhes in her grip and Kate lets her go.

"Mama, Mama, it's morning," Jake says. He's got a plastic spoon tight in his fist and he waves it at her.

Neatly sidestepping the spoon, Kate leans in and kisses her son's cheek. "It is. And what a good one, too."

"Morning gorgeous," Castle says. His voice is pitched low so that the kids won't overhear and it rumbles through her guts. He knows, the jerk, and she narrows her eyes at him. He only laughs and kisses the corner of her mouth.

At the table, Reece slams his spoon down against the wood. His face is puckered up in a ferocious scowl, and his bowl of cereal looks almost untouched. "Mommy, I didn't want cereal. I wanted eggs and toasts."

"That's not a very nice way to say good morning," Castle says.

Until they had their own kids, Kate had never really seen her husband be the disciplinarian. He rarely had to with Alexis, and Kate had worried that she'd be the bad cop every time, but he's firm with their children. Manners really matter to him, and kindness. He's a great dad, a fun dad, but he's sure to instil respect in their kids as well.

"I'm sorry peanut." Reece is sitting at the long edge of the table and Jake at the end, and Kate sinks to sit in the empty chair between the two of them. "I had to buy something quickly last night, because you guys were sleepy and we needed to get home."

"This cereal is gross." Reece slams his spoon into the bowl and a great tide of milk and soggy Lucky Charms comes cresting over the rim and splatters across the table.

There's a beat of total silence. Lily and Jake stop chewing and their eyes fly straight to Kate, waiting to see how she reacts, but it's Castle who gets in first. He comes from the kitchen with a roll of paper towels and he rips one off, hands it to his son.

"Clean up your mess please, Reece James."

"No Daddy," Reece yells. He shoves his cereal bowl away from himself and the whole thing almost topples.

Putting up a united front has always been important to them, so Kate lays a firm hand at her son's shoulder. "Reece. Right now, we only have cereal. Later we will go and buy some more food, but if you don't eat your cereal you'll be hungry until then. Last chance."

"I don't want cereal," their son wails. His little fist rears up and socks Kate in the arm. It doesn't hurt, of course not, but that is and has always been Castle's limit.

"Right." He gets his hands under Reece's arms and lifts him out of his chair. Setting him on the floor, he marches him towards their bedroom for a time out. He's saying something to Reece, firm and quiet, and their son sobs as he's taken out of the room.

Two pairs of huge, dark eyes are on her. Kate smiles at Jake and Lily and nods for them to carry on with their breakfast. She pours herself some cereal in the bowl Castle has set out for her and starts eating.

"Your brother had a bad dream last night, so he didn't get a very good sleep. He's a bit grumpy this morning."

"We noticed, Mom," Lily giggles. It's a tentative sprinkle of laughter until Kate grins back and then Lily's whole face creases up in amusement.

Castle comes back and sinks heavily into the seat next to Kate. He lays some paper towels on the table to soak up the mess. Once he's done, he rests his arm against the back of Kate's chair and his fingers massage at her nape.

"Hey, Daddy?" Lily says. She's got that tug of amusement at one corner of her mouth. "We should tell Reece that there's no point crying about spilled milk."

Kate and Castle dissolve into laughter and Jake frowns, annoyed to be missing out on the joke. Lily puffs up with pride and tucks her hair behind her ears.

The timer goes off on Castle's phone and he gets out of his chair. Kate stops him with a hand at his forearm.

"That for peanut? Let me go."

In their bedroom, Kate finds Reece sitting in the middle of the bed. He's stopped crying, and Kate climbs onto the mattress and opens her arms to him.

"I'm sorry I hit you, Mama," he whispers.

Kissing the crown of his head, Kate rocks him like she did when he was a newborn. "Thank you for saying sorry, peanut butter cup. You were just cross, huh?"

"Daddy said I have to use words and not hitting to show people that I'm cross."

"Well, Daddy's right. But it can be difficult to remember sometimes, I know."

"Yeah." Reece lays his head to her chest. His hand fists in her pajama shirt and he scrubs his face against the soft material. "Can I still have cereal?"

It makes her laugh and Kate shakes her head at him. "Yes, you can still have your cereal. Come on."

He wriggles his way down from the bed and Kate follows behind him. Jake and Lily are chatting to their dad as they finish the last of their cereal, something about the animals that live in the woods and does Rick think it's like Winnie the Pooh. Reece slots his easy way into the conversation and eats his cereal, racing through the bowl to catch up with his siblings.

Kate sits next to Lily and Castle pushes her bowl across the table to her. She loves mornings with the little ones, loves eating breakfast and hearing all about their dreams and their plans for the day. Castle's warm hand covers hers on the tabletop and they share a smile.

"Okay guys," Kate says once everyone is finished eating. "We need to go grocery shopping so that we have more food than just cereal."

"We don't all need to go," Castle suggests.

The kids are already squirming in their seats, eager to get down from the table and start the day. "Alright. Why don't you and Reece go and we'll finish unpacking and clean up from breakfast?"

"Can I go with Daddy?" Lily asks.

"Sure. Come on then you two. Let's get clothes on."

There's a flurry of activity as Reece, Lily and Castle get dressed and ready to head out. Kate made a list before they came to the cabin and she finds it in her purse, slides it into Castle's back pocket. Her fingertips flirt with the curve of his ass and he makes a grumbling noise at her.

"Bye," she hums, lifting up on tiptoe in her bare feet to dust a kiss to the corner of his mouth. The kids appear in the entryway then, jostling to get between Kate and Castle and they laugh. Kate wraps an arm each around Lily and Reece. "Bye guys. Be good for Daddy, okay?"

Jake tugs on the bottom of Kate's pajama shirt and she lifts him into her arms, holds him on her hip while they wave goodbye to the others. Once the car disappears at the end of the long gravel driveway, Kate closes the front door and puts her son down.

"Come on then, sweet boy. Let's get dressed. Did Daddy give Cosmo some breakfast?"

"Lily did do it," Jake tells her.

The dog is on the couch, curled up in a blanket just the way he likes, and he barely lifts an eyebrow as they head past him. In the kids' room, Kate opens the twins' suitcase on the floor and finds clean clothes for Jake to wear.

Lately the two of them have been insistent that they dress themselves, so she busies herself putting away their clothes in the dresser while he puts on his green khaki pants and a striped shirt. In the bathroom she wets his toothbrush for him and hands it over, lifts him to spit once he's finished.

"I'm gonna get dressed now, okay?"

"'kay Mama," he says. He's on the floor with his backpack, rummaging inside in search of toys. "I can play?"

"Of course you can play."

She leaves him to entertain himself while she showers and finds something to wear. When she comes back out, her hair wet and lying in a rope over her shoulder, Jake has moved to the living room. He's on the couch, curled up with Cosmo and driving his toy cars along the length of the dog's back.

"Hey baby." Kate leans over the back of the couch and kisses the top of his head. "Are you having snuggle time?"

The dog doesn't seem at all bothered, and she's glad to have Jake in her line of sight. Kate starts the water running at the sink and collects the breakfast things from the table. While she washes the dishes she plays music from her phone. It snags Jake's attention and he comes to join her in the kitchen, dancing around her feet. They sing together and her son wiggles his butt, playing air guitar along to the music.

Once the dishes are done Kate swings him up into her arms and dances around the kitchen with him. He erupts with giggles, his face scrunched up in mirth. Even the dog jumps down from the couch to see what's going on and he follows their path around the living room, leaping with excitement.

"Mama, Mama, stop," Jake wheezes. His hands come to her cheeks and he holds her still. Grinning, Kate leans in and kisses the end of his nose. He squirms to get down and she gives in.

At the back door, Cosmo whines to go outside and nudges his slender head into the glass. The leash has moved from the end table where she put it last night and Kate grumbles and scrapes a hand through her hair.

"Mama, we can just let him outside," Jake tells her. He wraps both arms around Cosmo's neck and hugs him tight. The dog licks Jake's cheek for a moment, and then he remembers that he wants to go out and he whines again. "He won't run away."

"He might baby. If he sees a squirrel or something, he'll just keep chasing and we won't be able to get him back."

They'll let the dog off leash if they go swimming, but otherwise Kate doesn't want to take the risk. She finds the leash on top of the bookshelves, out of the kids' reach, and she clips it to Cosmo's collar.

Jake comes outside with them. While Cosmo uses the bathroom, he slides his hand into Kate's and leans his head against her thigh. "It's nice here, Mama. We can swim today?"

"It might be too cold, but we can try." Kate rests her free hand at the top of Jake's head. She hears the car rolling down the driveway and the engine cuts out. Less than a minute later, two warm arms wrap around her from behind.

Lily and Reece spill out onto the deck behind Castle and Jake gets swept up with them, the three of them running down the steps to play on the stretch of grass between the cabin and the water.

"How were they?" she asks, leaning back against her husband's solid chest.

His lips brush against the side of her neck and she shivers. "Great. I was proud of them, actually. Can you help me put the groceries away?"

"Yeah." Kate turns in the circle of his arms and winds hers around his neck. One hand at the back of his head, she draws him down into a lazy kiss. "I don't want to leave them near the lake."

"Guys," Castle calls out. The kids come running back to him, breathless and giddy and gangly. "Come inside and help us put the food away, and then we'll all come out to play."


	4. Chapter 4

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

The deck furniture had all been covered over with tarpaulin sheets to protect it from the weather while nobody was at the cabin. Once they get all the food put away and appease their children's demands for snacks with a few slices of apple each, Castle and Kate set to work uncovering everything. He can't help but think about the first time they were here, how they slept out on the deck together.

Things were different then. He was hesitant, terrified to dive in with her the way he wanted to in case she ran. That first vacation together went a long way to soothe his fragile heart. It helped him to see that she was really in this, that it was meant to last. They spent ten lazy days in the lake and the woods, and at night he got to stretch her out beneath him and taste the musk of the outdoors on her skin.

"Babe," Kate says. It snaps him out of his reverie. He's holding one end of the tarp sheet and he walks towards her so that their two ends meet. "Good memories on these loungers, huh?"

"Yeah." He kisses her cheek on his way past. Castle takes the stack of folded tarps from her and puts them in the garage. He finds the cushions in there and he comes back out with them. The second he puts them in their places the kids start scrambling all over.

Reece starfishes across one of the loungers and Kate laughs, tickling him until he's gasping and squirming. Lily is stretched out sideways on the bench and Jake climbs up his sister's legs until he can curl up with her.

"Daddy, we can play catch?" Reece suggests. He's upright now and he reaches for Rick. Castle scoops up his son and sits at the end of the lounger, cuddling him close.

"Sure." His wife has disappeared back inside and he turns over his shoulder. The bright sunlight out here means he can only see his own reflection, too far from the glass to peek inside at Beckett. "Hey, Kate?"

There's no response for a moment. The kids giggle and then they call for their mother as well, using her first name. He can't help but laugh at the childish delight that spills across all three of their faces. Mischief makes them impish. His daughter's narrow chin and huge eyes remind him of a pixie.

"Beckett!" Lily calls out right as Kate appears in the doorway.

She arches one slow eyebrow at their daughter and leans over the back of the bench to tug on Lily's ear. It's playful, mostly, but he knows she doesn't like it when the kids call her by her name, especially her last name. There are only three people in the world who get to call her Mommy, and she confessed to him once how much she loves hearing it from them.

"Hey, cheeky. What's going on?"

"Do you think we could let Cosmo off the leash if we're tossing the ball?" Castle suggests. At the sound of his name, the dog lifts his head from his paws and regards them, his tail thumping against the wood of the deck a few times.

When Kate tilts her head in consideration the whole gorgeous riot of her hair spills over one shoulder. He aches to kiss the smooth column of her neck, but three expectant little faces are turned towards her and it will have to wait.

"He'll probably play for five minutes and then curl up and nap the rest of the day, so sure. But you're the one who has to catch him if he heads for the woods."

Castle ducks inside to grab the outdoor toys he brought to the cabin and he comes back to find the kids and the dog on the grass. It stretches from the house all the way down to the water, plenty of space to run around. The last time they were here, he and Kate made snow angels and a snowman on this stretch of ground.

His wife has a cup of coffee resting at her knee, one palm wrapped around it. She watches them play from the bench seat, those enormous sunglasses hiding most of her face, but he sees the easy smile on her lips. As he goes by, Castle swoops in to steal a kiss from her sweet coffee mouth. She hums into the touch of his lips to hers and lifts her chin, the very tip of her tongue darting out.

He has to break away from her and take a second to breathe before he can join the kids. They're scampering through the grass now, the dog leaping to try and take the frisbee from Lily where she's holding it aloft.

Kate chuckles softly and squeezes his fingers where they're lying uselessly against her shoulder. "Go entertain the wild ones, Dad."

The twins are still at that adorable stage where they mostly fumble the ball, no strength to throw it any distance, but Lily has a good arm. Jim always jokes that she's a pint-sized Beckett, and he gets this glassy look in his eyes remembering little Katie.

Castle and his daughter toss the tennis ball back and forth, arcing it high over Cosmo's head to watch him leap and try to catch. Whenever he manages, or someone falls down, all three kids look to Kate on the porch. She's watching, and she flutters her fingers in acknowledgement every time.

Once she's finished her coffee she puts the mug down and comes to join them. She makes a show of limbering up, stretching her muscles, and the kids giggle and tug on the bottom of her shirt.

They play with the frisbee then. Kate throws it to him in a neat line, low enough that the kids can reach and they lunge for it. They're breathless with laughter and getting grass all over their clothes. A smile becomes a permanent fixture at Kate's mouth and she ties her hair into a ponytail, chasing Lily across the grass and sweeping her up. The two of them go to the ground and Lily sits on top of her mother, giggling and covering Kate's eyes with her palms.

He's trying not to be worried. His wife is smart, and getting a lot better at knowing her own limits. She won't overdo it. There's not a lot of time for concern anyway; the twins charge at him and wrap their bodies around one of his legs each. This is their favourite game and he tries to walk, shuffling his feet while they cling tight.

They play for a long time, until the kids are spending more time laying on the grass than they are bouncing back up. The dog has long given up and trotted back onto the porch. He watches from the bench now, curled up with one eye opening every so often to gaze at them.

"Okay," Castle pants, hands on his thighs. It's not entirely for show, but it gets a shower of giggles from his children. "Let's take a breather for a little bit. Who wants lemonade?"

"Me, me," they shout. The way they hop around him as he heads for the house reminds him of nymphs or sprites, cheeky creatures so at home in the wilderness. Their faces are flushed with exertion and the kiss of the sun on their skin, the twins' hair sticking up in spikes all over their heads.

They race ahead and Kate lays a palm against his back. He pauses to let her catch up, hooking his arm through hers when she does. She rests her cheek to his shoulder and he feels the strange work of her jaw as she speaks.

"Doing okay?"

"Yeah. You? Need the icy hot?"

"Mm." Her hum vibrates through his arm. He kisses the crown of her head and she takes it as permission to straighten up again. "No. Maybe tonight."

She turns her head to see him and he kisses her cheek, smells grass and their babies on her. "Alright. Let me know if you change your mind."

"You just want an excuse to rub it on me." She narrows her eyes at him, but it's not as if that's news to either of them. He shrugs and jogs up the porch steps before she can twist his ear or poke him.

He makes a pitcher of lemonade and pours glasses for everyone. The cabin doesn't have a single tumbler that matches any other and he likes the cheerfulness of the variation, how homely it is. Lily added straws to their cart at the grocery store this morning, so he passes those out too.

It's a warm day, now that the haze of the morning is burning away. Castle ducks into their bedroom to change into a pair of shorts and to find his sunglasses. Everyone else is back out on the deck and he scoops Jake into his lap so that he'll have someplace to sit.

"Mom," Lily says. "Because it's so sunny today, later could we swim in the lake?"

Kate darts a glance to him and he shrugs, happy to let her make the call on this one. Lily is stretched out along the bench, her bare feet in her mother's lap, and Kate wraps a hand around those skinny toes and squeezes.

"The lake's gonna be really, really cold. What happens is, all of the snow from the mountains melts in the springtime and it all flows down through the stream and into the lake."

The twins aren't paying attention, instead trying to battle each other with their straws as makeshift lightsabers, but Lily is rapt. She hangs on Kate's every word, has done since she was a newborn. Back then, those dark eyes would track Kate around the room. He used to catch Kate singing to their daughter, Lily in her arms and the baby's gaze so intent on her mother's face.

"But because it's freshly melted snow, the water is very cold. And all of that extra water makes the lake deeper, which means the sun can't get through all of the water to warm it up."

"It's okay Mom." Lily crawls down the bench so she can lay a hand at Kate's cheek. "We can try, and then if it's too cold we'll come out."

Jake almost topples right out of Castle's lap in his haste to jab Reece with his straw-sword. Castle grunts and tightens the arm around his son's waist, does his best to stay out of the line of fire. They love to battle all day long. Occasionally it will rear up, one of them will snap, but it's rare that Castle or Beckett has to intervene.

"Babe," Kate says. It snags his attention and he lifts his eyes to hers. "One of us is gonna have to get in the lake with them."

He snorts. Jake's head tips backward to look at him and socks him in the solar plexus. It makes his breath leave him in an audible rush and the boys laugh.

"I don't think so, Kate Beckett. One adult is not enough to supervise three kids. We both get in, or nobody swims."

"Fine," she says, but he sees from the seam of amusement at the corners of her mouth that she already knew that. She's just messing with him, and he pokes his tongue out in retaliation.

It's a bit of a production to get everybody into their swimsuits. Kate insists that the water is too cold to swim without t-shirts, so the kids all keep theirs on underneath their floatie vests. The dog allows himself to be strapped into his life vest as well, but his dark eyes hold Castle's and he gives a long-suffering sigh.

"Just try it, buddy." Castle scratches behind Cosmo's ears. "You might have fun."

He gets a lick to his cheek for that and he scrunches his face up. Cosmo is such an affectionate beast, and he steps in closer to lay his head at Castle's shoulder for a moment. The kids come charging past then, Kate right behind them, and Castle heaves himself up off the floor.

They trek down to the water in a line. Castle's got towels for everyone draped over his arm and when they get to the dock he sets them down, safely out of the splash zone. The sun is warm on his skin and he wants to tip his head back and bask, but the kids are insistent.

"Who's first?" Kate asks. She nudges her elbow into his stomach and it makes him grunt. He knows what she's doing, knows his wife, but still. He barely has time to brace for impact before Kate pushes him off the end of the dock and into the water.

The shock of it is delayed a moment, as if his body can't process what's happening. He comes up for air shaking his head like a dog, spraying an arc of freezing droplets across his wife and children. Kate shrieks and leaps back from the edge of the dock.

His whole body contracts, his skin too tight, but it's not as bad as he thought. It galvanises him and he cuts a few smooth strokes through the water. He did a lot of hydrotherapy to help rebuild the muscles in his core and those same muscles start to come awake now, stretching lazily and rearing their tired heads.

"It's okay," he calls to his family. "We'll have to keep moving to stay warm, but it's not too cold to have fun."

Reece is the first to jump in. Castle holds his arms out and his son barrels off the end of the dock and drops into the lake like a stone. His floatie vest stops him from going under and he bobs on the surface. He kicks hard towards his father and Castle holds out his hands to him, draws him in close.

He tucks up small against Castle's chest, tired just from paddling the tiny distance to reach Castle. His head lays at his father's shoulder and Rick keeps an arm tight around his son, lets him float.

"Hey peanut. That was brave. Not too cold for you?"

"It's okay, Daddy." He twists in Castle's grip and waves towards the dock. "Jakey! Come on!"

Jake's little face scrunches with apprehension and Kate laughs, reaching for his hand. "Come on baby. We'll go together, ready?"

She counts down, and the two of them leap off the edge of the dock. Jake's vest keeps him at the surface but Kate goes under. Castle watches the pale, rippling line of her body as she glides beneath the surface. She comes up yelling and jabs a finger into his shoulder.

"You liar. It's freezing."

"Oh I'm sorry." He shrugs. Reece has all four limbs wrapped around one of his arms and their son bobs like a buoy with the movement. "I figured you could handle it."

Kate growls at him and lunges, wrapping one arm around his neck and the other around Jake to pull him in to the embrace. Her hot mouth opens against his jaw and she draws a knee up in the water, nudging it between his thighs.

It's so very unfair with their kids right there. Castle splays his palm at her stomach and nudges her back just a little bit, hopes she sees the seriousness in his face. He wants her, of course he does, but he's a father first. Their boys are both clinging tight to him, trusting him to keep them afloat, and he can't let his gorgeous wife be a distraction.

Her lips touch the corner of his mouth in apology, light and careful, and then she takes Reece so Castle only has to worry about one child.

At the end of the dock, Lily cuts a mournful figure. Her cheekbones are stark in her pale face and she knots her fingers. Pushing her hair out of her eyes with one hand, Kate calls out to their daughter. "Come on, Lilypad. Jump."

Castle watches in wonder as that Beckett determination works its way down Lily's spine. She squares her shoulders, sizes up the distance, and then she takes a running leap off the end of the dock.

The second she hits the water she makes her way to them, not pausing for long enough to let the cold hit her. Jake grabs for his sister when she reaches them and she laughs, shaking her hair out of her face.

"It's really cold, Daddy. You fibbed."

"I bent the truth," he fires back.

Kate dunks him for it and he lets her push him down, welcoming the fold of the cold water over his head and the strange things it does to his brain. Down here is like being outside of time. For just a second, he forgets the three little ones splashing at the surface, and he expects the Kate of twelve years ago to be waiting for him when he breaks the film of the water again.

When he pops back up Lily swims around to his back and wraps her arms around his shoulders, her skinny legs at his hips. He can touch the bottom of this part of the lake, but Kate has to stand on tiptoe. He's still astonished by how clear it is. The floor is pebbles and sand and he watches the fearless tiny fish that mill around, wanting to nibble his toes.

Kate's got the boys under control, her hands hovering nearby in case they get tired. They're both violent, reckless swimmers and she's soaked in seconds by their splashing. Lily clings to Castle's back like a monkey, her pointy chin resting at his shoulder. Water gets in his eyes and his hair, making the front fall down onto his forehead.

"Lily Castle." He turns his head as far as he can and sees a shard of his daughter's grin and one dark eye. "Are you using me as a shield against your brothers?"

"Just a little bit, Daddy."

At the end of the dock Cosmo whines and paws at the ground, devastated to be missing out on the action. Kate whistles for him and calls his name. The kids join in, then Castle too, and eventually they persuade the dog right into the water.

He starts paddling straight away, some primal instinct kicking in, and he comes for Kate so he can lick at her face. His doggy paddling splashes all of them and Jake shrieks, grabbing hold of the strap of Cosmo's life vest. The dog hardly seems to notice and Jake gets tugged along in his wake for a little bit, until Kate winds her arm around their son and steals him back.

They play in the water for as long as they can bear the cold. Lily has been taking swimming lessons for a few years now, but the boys have only just started. They practice their kicking one at a time with Kate, her arms beneath their stomachs to hold them up.

Lily darts through the lake like an eel, slippery and cool. She doesn't go far, not yet a confident enough swimmer to stray from the shadow of her parents. She comes back again and again and wraps her arms around Castle, holding tight while he moves through the water.

He and Kate keep a careful eye on their children, and the moment the shivering starts they call an end to swimming. There's no ladder at the end of the dock. It's low enough that Castle can haul himself out easily, and then he reaches down and lifts his kids out of the water one at a time.

They scramble in the pile for their towels. All three of them have towels that have a hood. Jake has a frog, Lily a puppy and Reece a shark. They get themselves bundled up warm, Lily having to help Jake when he gets tangled in his, and they head for the grass to run around.

It's such a gorgeous day that Castle feels immediately warmer. His skin prickles as the water starts to evaporate. He and Kate work together to haul Cosmo out of the water. They take his life jacket off for him and he runs straight for the house. Castle laughs and reaches for his own towel, scrubs it through his hair.

"I can't tell if he enjoyed that or not."

"I think he liked swimming, especially with us, but I don't think he's a fan of being wet. We know how he feels about baths." Kate wrinkles her nose.

They almost never bathe the dog, but a couple of times in the winter he's gotten filthy at the park and they've had to hose him off in the bathtub. He stands with his head ducked, tail between his legs until it's over, but he loves the snuggles that come with getting dried off afterwards.

Kate's navy t-shirt is clinging to the curves of her body and she peels it off over her head, lets it drop to the wood with a wet slap. She takes the last remaining towel and wraps it around her shoulders, and then she sinks right down to sit on the dock.

He follows, feels his body tugged along with hers by the red string of fate that binds them together. Castle leans back against one of the pillars and Kate rests against his chest. He winds an arm around her shoulders and she tangles her fingers with his, flirting with his wedding band.

"I'm exhausted," he admits.

It makes her laugh and she kisses the inside of his bicep. "Me, too. Let's get some lunch into them and then do something lazier this afternoon."

"Can we sit for a minute? I don't think I can get up yet."

She's giggling, but he feels the exhaustion in the drape of her body half over his. They stay where they are for a while, letting the sun bake them. His shirt dries stiff so that it cracks every time he shifts. Kate nuzzles her nose into the warmth at his neck and she lets him kiss her.

He'd happily stay here with her all day, but hunger is making the kids snipe at each other. He sees Reece shove Lily and he sighs, gets slowly to his feet. He drags Kate up with him, because he's not leaving her here to laze on the dock while he deals with all three kids.

"Ready for lunch, guys?" he calls out. He gets a chorus of agreement and he heads for the cabin with the three of them running ahead and Kate at his side.

Kate takes the kids to get dry clothes on and hang up their towels, and it gives him room to fix up some sandwiches for everyone. He keeps it fairly simple, just ham and cheese for the kids. He adds salad to his and Kate's and puts a couple of cherry tomatoes on each of the kids' plates. Giving them a whole packet of potato chips each seems like a very bad idea, so he empties a couple of bags into a bowl to be shared.

When his family comes back to the kitchen the kids are back in their clothes for this morning. Kate is still wearing her bikini. He wonders if she'll change, and if maybe he can change too and they can have five minutes while the kids are distracted with food. She moves right past him and collects her plate, and he decides that getting to see her in that swimsuit is almost as good.

They're on vacation, so he doesn't bother trying to battle with the boys to pick a seat and stay in it. They like to roam like bison while they eat, moving from chair to chair and grazing from everyone else's plates. Sometimes they climb into his or Kate's lap and get crumbs and stickiness all over them. When they started weaning Lily, Castle warned Kate that they wouldn't get to have their entire meal to themselves for the next ten years or so. Every time one of the kids steals a morsel from Kate's plate she arches a slow eyebrow at Rick and he grins back.

Once everyone's finished eating the kids head right back outside. A couple of months ago, when they were discussing spring break and Kate suggested they come to the cabin, he had wondered if the kids would enjoy being out in the wilderness. They're city kids, but all three of them seem to be loving it.

"I'll help you with the dishes," Kate offers. She gets up from her seat and collects everyone's plates to take back to the kitchen.

They wash the dishes in easy quiet. He's got music playing from his phone and Kate dances around him as they work together. Every so often her body bumps up against his and he moves with her, fingertips flirting with the swathes of bare skin her swimsuit shows.

When they're done he kisses her, nudging her back against the counter. He keeps it light, hyper aware of the kids right outside. She tastes familiar and good and he lets himself melt into her, palms cradling her head.

"I'm gonna sunbathe," she says into his mouth.

It's so unexpected that he snorts on a laugh and takes a stumbling step back from her. She's smiling too now, ducking her chin as if she's shy. "Oh you are? Have you bribed them?"

"No. Why?"

"They're not gonna leave you alone to just lie there. Do you know how much they adore you? I give it five minutes before Lily climbs up there with you."

One skinny shoulder lifts in a shrug and Kate's mouth turns down at the corners. "I don't mind. I'm on vacation _with_ my kids, not from them. They can lie with me if they want."

He kisses her again for that. She lets him for a moment, and then she breaks away and disappears out onto the deck. Castle finds sunscreen in the bathroom and heads outside with it, calling the kids to him.

They hate this part, and they jostle not to be first in the line to be sunscreened. Lily winds up at the front, her chin lifted as if she's too sensible to squabble with her brothers, but Castle catches the little wrinkle of disgust in her nose.

He's fast, methodically covering each of the kids in sunscreen. It's force of habit more than anything. Alexis is so fair, burned so easily, that he had to reapply every hour. His youngest three inherited his and Kate's dark hair, so it takes a little more for them to fry in the sun than their redheaded sister, but he's not taking any chances. Once the kids are done he works the lotion into his own skin, and then he passes the bottle to his wife.

The kids are back on the grass again. Their shoes are off, and as they run he catches flashes of the filthy soles of their feet. As he approaches, Jake stops chasing his brother and turns to Rick.

"Daddy? Here is there a picnic blanket like at home?"

"Oh, sure buddy. I packed one. I'll grab it."

The kids set themselves up on the blanket. Jake and Reece are playing with toy cars, ramming them into each other and making explosion sounds under their breath. Lily has a couple of dolls with her and she styles their hair, winding it into braids. They're pretty neat and he praises her for it just to see those twin spots of colour appear high up in her cheeks.

So like Kate. A part of him burns to squeeze onto the lounger with her, maybe make out a little while the kids are otherwise occupied. She wants to relax though, not have his clumsy hands all over her, so he stays where he is on the blanket with his children.

He stretches out and the boys use his body as terrain for their cars, driving them up over his thighs and onto his stomach. Castle lets himself doze while his sons use him as a playground. Lily's sweet voice is in his ear as she makes her dolls talk quietly together.

Long fingers sifting through his hair startle him and his eyes pop open. Kate is kneeling beside him, Jake already crawling into her lap, and she laughs. "Hey. Sorry to wake you."

"I'm awake," he insists. "I'm good. Done sunbathing?"

"Didn't want to miss the fun." Reece drives his car up over Kate's knee and she ruffles his hair. "Hey peanut. What's your game?"

The boys launch into an enthusiastic explanation of whatever it is they've been doing. To her credit, Kate is totally absorbed in what they're telling her, nodding along as they explain. Satisfied that their mother understands, Jake and Reece carry on playing and Kate diverts her attention to Lily.

"Wow, Lilypad. Good job with that braid. Do you think you could do one for me? My hair's all crazy after the lake."

"Sure Mommy," Lily beams. A flicker of pure joy darts across Kate's face and Castle makes a mental note to question her about it later.

Kate shifts around until she's cross-legged on the blanket. She's right next to him, and he lifts so he can rest his head in her lap. Her fingers sift through his hair, occasionally coming down to massage at his nape or trace the slope of his nose. It feels good, drugging, and he lets himself drift. He's not asleep, not quite, but the sounds of the boys' game and Lily's quiet conversation with Kate are far away.

After a while, Kate's hands stop their lazy work across his scalp. He takes it as a cue and opens his eyes again, has to shade them with a hand so he can see his wife. Her hair is held back in a braid but some of the shorter tendrils escape to frame her face.

"You're giving me a dead leg." She wiggles her thigh under the weight of his head. He moves to let her escape and Lily takes the chance to climb into her mother's lap instead.

She's getting tall already, and her gangly legs spill out across the blanket even as she rests her cheek to Kate's chest. "Mom, what will we do this afternoon?"

"I think we should be a bit lazy for the rest of today. We had a lot of fun this morning with the frisbee and in the lake, so let's have quiet time."

"Can I read?"

"Of course you can read." Kate kisses their daughter's forehead. "You don't have to ask permission for that. We're on vacation. That means it's your time to do whatever you like."


	5. Chapter 5

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

Castle volunteers to get the boys in bed for their afternoon nap. A part of her thinks she ought to offer to help him, but before she can even open her mouth he's disappearing inside with a little hand in each of his. He loves sitting with them until they fall asleep, sometimes even nudging in beside them in the narrow bed so they can cuddle up.

Kate is stretched out on the lounger in her bikini, and Lily is squeezed onto it next to her. Their daughter has a book resting against her bent knees and as she reads her lips move as if she's sounding out the words to herself. Kate has a book as well but she's set it down on the ground, content to watch her daughter and listen to music in her earphones.

From inside the house, she hears the low rumble of her husband's voice as he tries to coax the twins into bed. Both boys are getting overtired after so much excitement this morning and it's making them aggressive. There was a near miss when Jake swung for his brother and Castle grabbed his fist just in time. Their noisy little voices ring out and Kate chuckles. It's going to be a while before Castle emerges.

With three kids, Kate has to snatch the chance for one-on-one time with each of them wherever she can get it. Pausing her music, she pulls out her earphones and sets her phone aside.

"What's your book about?"

"It's _The BFG_ , Mom." Lily rolls her eyes. "You know it."

Her daughter's scrunched up, grouchy face makes her laugh and she nudges her elbow into Lily's side. "I do. But I want to hear you tell me about it."

Lily describes the plot to Kate in detail, setting the book down in her lap and growing more animated as she speaks. It's always been important to them, to Castle especially, that their kids be able to articulate their thoughts. It makes his chest puff up with pride whenever they tell stories, goofy man.

"Are you enjoying it?"

"Yeah. I like Sophie. She's really brave."

"She is, huh. That's a good thing to try to be."

The lounger is pretty wide, so there's a space between their bodies. Kate expects her daughter to go back to her book, but instead Lily breaches the chasm and lays her head on Kate's shoulder, one skinny arm around her middle.

"Mom? Dad always says that you're brave. But I don't know how."

"Oh, baby girl." Kate wraps her arms tight around Lily and kisses the crown of her head, smelling sunscreen and lake water on her. "You are so brave. Like earlier, when you jumped in the lake. And you slept up high in the bunk bed last night."

Lily wrinkles her nose. "That's not really brave though. Like when you fight bad guys."

"Everybody does things that they have to be brave about, sweetheart. It's different for everyone, but that doesn't mean that you've got less courage just because someone else's situation might be more dangerous."

Kate's stomach and chest are pockmarked with scars, fading now but still livid against the pale cream of her skin. The swimsuit she brought to the cabin is a two piece. She had gone back and forth over it for a couple of days, but eventually Castle had convinced her. Whenever they go to the beach or to one of the public pools in the city she feels like she has to hide. At the cabin, like when they're at the Hamptons, she can be comfortable in front of her family.

Lily traces the tip of her finger over the jagged circle low down at Kate's abdomen where a bullet burned its path through her body. "Did you have to be brave when you got your scars?"

The kids have seen their parents' scars, but they've never really asked about it. The boys are too little to truly understand, and Lily has never shown any interest in the stories. It's made things easy. Kate never had to figure out how to hedge around it, how to avoid terrifying her children with the details of how she got her battle wounds. They know that Mommy fights bad guys at work, but in their minds she's as infallible as the heroes in their books and movies.

"Yes. But there are things that didn't leave scars that you can see, and those things took a lot more courage."

"Like when Grandma died?"

For just a second, Kate's heart twists violently in her chest. She breathes slowly, holds her daughter tighter, listens to her husband and sons inside the cabin. "Yes. Exactly like that."

"How did you get this one?" Lily rests her small hand at Kate's chest, over the bullet wound that sits between her breasts.

She debates lying, or fudging the truth, but her daughter is so smart and so wise. Her face is turned up to Kate in expectation, and Beckett can only be honest.

"Somebody shot me. See this one here?" She twists to let Lily see the long scar at the left side of her ribcage. "I had to have surgery after I was shot. It was very scary. Especially for Daddy."

"Not for you?"

Kate doesn't know how to explain to her daughter that for a moment, letting go in Castle's arms seemed so easy. It would have been so peaceful to slip under with his face hovering over her and the whole blue truth of the sky behind.

"Yes, for me too, but I was asleep for a lot of it. Daddy and Grandpa and Alexis and Gram all had to wait outside to see if I was going to be okay."

Lily's hand moves. She covers the puckered scar at Kate's shoulder for a moment, and then moves down to rest her palm over the third bullet scar at Kate's hip. "You've been shot three times, Mama?"

"Three and a half." Kate guides Lily's hand to the scar at the other side of her stomach. "I almost got shot this time, but it missed me. It was just a graze."

Her daughter's face is wan as the moon and she blinks hard. Her lips press together in mute horror and her fingers flex and curl against Kate's stomach.

"Hey, it's okay." Kate draws her back down into a hug. "I'm okay, baby. We caught all the bad guys. Nobody's going to shoot me again."

Lily seems entirely unconvinced. She's still silent, hiding her face against the inside of Kate's arm now. Sometimes it's difficult to remember that Lily, for all her height and her wisdom and her maturity, is still only seven years old.

At seven, Kate played with dolls and longed for a puppy and nothing touched her world of childish joy. She has fought so hard to keep that darkness from creeping into their lives, has stood valiantly at her husband's side to shelter their family.

"Scars don't always mean bad things," she offers. Kate nudges her bikini bottoms down just a touch, enough to expose the deep pink line that curves along the very bottom of her abdomen. "See this one?"

"Yeah."

"Know where it's from?" Lily shakes her head. "It's from when your brothers were born. They were very tiny, and they needed to be born quickly so that the doctors could make sure they were okay."

Lily nods, a small smile creeping in at the very corners of her mouth. "It's a good scar?"

"Exactly, sweet girl. It reminds me of the day your brothers were born, which is one of my two happiest days ever. Not all scars come from bad things."

"Mommy?" That's the second time she's heard that name from Lily today. It's been a while, and Kate's foolish heart sings out in joy. "I'm glad you're okay."

She tucks herself in small against Kate's side, hiding her face again. Kate sifts her fingers through Lily's short hair, revelling in the weight of her girl against her. "I'm more than okay."

They stay that way for a little while, and then Lily untangles herself and goes back to her book. Kate watches her, looking for any sign that she's traumatised her child, but Lily seems okay.

When Castle comes back outside and settles in the other lounger, their daughter closes her book and climbs into her father's lap. She splays her hand at his chest. He's wearing a shirt, but Lily has the placement of the circular scar on Castle's chest exactly right.

"Daddy. You were shot."

His eyes fly to Kate's and she nods slowly, presses her lips together. Castle looks back down at Lily and tightens his arm around her. "I was. But I'm okay, Lilypad. It was a very long time ago."

She hops down from the lounger then. "Can I go read inside?"

"Of course you can," Kate says. Lily disappears inside the cabin and Castle jerks upright on his lounger.

"What the hell, Beckett?"

A sigh escapes without her permission and Kate scrapes a hand over her face. "I'm sorry. We were talking about bravery, and then she asked me how I got my scars and I. . .I couldn't lie to our daughter, Rick."

"I thought we were going to talk to them about it together. Make sure they still feel safe."

"It just happened," she offers. It's not good enough. Guilt propels her right out of her chair and she squeezes in with him instead. It's a much tighter fit and she has to drape the length of her body half over his.

Warm fingers come to the curve of her waist as if in spite of themselves. He sighs, but there's no anger in it anymore. "I trust you. I'm sure you did great. I just can't help but want to protect them from all that."

"Me, too." Kate closes her eyes. For a moment, the heat of the sun disappears and she's bleeding out again, Castle flickering so that he's sometimes hovering above her and sometimes at her side, hand in hers. And then it passes and she kisses his shoulder through his shirt. "Maybe you could talk to her tonight? Reassure yourself."

"I don't want to keep bringing it up. I'll just tell her she can talk to either of us if she has any questions."

They're quiet for a long time. She keeps thinking he's dozed off, but when she peeks at him his eyes are open beneath his sunglasses. His fingertips trace aimless patterns up and down her sides and Kate sends silent thanks up to whoever might be listening.

Jake comes out to find them eventually. He giggles to see his parents squashed together in one chair and he climbs up, plants himself heavily on top of them. It shakes them out of their silence and they laugh with him.

"Did you have a good nap, my man?" Castle asks. Jake shifts around until he's kneeling on Castle's thighs, a hand at Kate's knee for balance.

Their youngest has a habit of capturing his father's face in his hands and leaning in until they're nose to nose. It's comical in its seriousness and Kate turns her face away to hide her amusement.

"Yes, Daddy. Reece is still sleeping."

"That's alright. He didn't sleep well last night, so he needs to catch up."

Jake turns to Kate then. He has her full attention, but he pats her thigh anyway. "Mama. I'm hungry."

"You are?" She doesn't have her watch, so she glances to Castle in askance.

"Four."

Their son is watching them expectantly, bouncing a little as he waits for an answer. Castle huffs, but he lets it happen. "Alright. You can have a small snack before dinner."

Jake clambers down from the lounger and hurries inside the cabin. Her body is stiff with lying here for so much of this afternoon, and it groans when she heaves herself up. Her husband follows along behind her. He smells so good, like the woods and the water and ruggedness. Before they make it inside, she stops him with a palm to his chest and kisses him.

It's a little lazy. She's not trying to start anything right now, just wants to apologise for talking to Lily without him. His hand rests between her shoulder blades and she opens to the touch of his tongue.

"Mommy!" An impatient voice calls from inside the house and she laughs into Castle's mouth.

Lily has joined her brother in the kitchen and the two of them jostle as they wait for Kate to find snacks. She passes Jake a yoghurt, and then Lily one as well.

"Can we sit high up?" she asks.

"At the island? Sure." Kate lifts Jake up onto one of the bar stools and he swings his legs, grinning wide. Lily climbs up herself, her father's hands hovering close by in case she can't manage it.

Kate hands them a spoon each and they eat their yoghurt, chatting about one of the tv shows they both love. It goes right over her head, but Castle seems to know what it is and he joins the conversation, quizzing them about their favourite characters.

When Kate peeks into the kids' bedroom Reece is still fast asleep on his stomach. She doesn't want him to spoil his sleep for tonight, so she slips inside. Kneeling at his bedside, she dusts her fingers over his forehead and murmurs to him.

"Time to wake up, peanut butter cup." He lifts his head and peers at her through one eye, the other tightly scrunched closed. "Hey baby. Lily and Jake are having yoghurt. Want some?"

Reece grunts and drops his head back to the pillow, a frown puckering his forehead. She laughs and slides her hands under him, drawing him out of bed and into her arms. He whines and scrubs his face against her chest.

"I know, peanut," she murmurs to him. "But you've been asleep for a long time. You don't want to miss the day."

"Yoghurt?" he gets out.

Kate gets slowly to her feet with him still in her arms and carries him through to the kitchen. She sets him down on the last bar stool, one arm still around him because he doesn't seem with it enough to not fall down just yet. Castle gets him a yoghurt and hands it over. He eats quickly and silently, his eyes not quite open all the way.

While everyone finishes with their snacks Kate ducks into the bedroom to put shorts and a shirt on over top of her swimsuit. When she comes back the kids are done and are on the couch climbing all over each other.

Castle is at the sink washing the spoons. When he sees her he pouts. "Disappointing."

"Tonight," she promises. Her body is coming slowly awake at the sight of him, t-shirt stretched taut across his broad shoulders. He's in his fifties now, but she finds the weathered edge to his jawline infinitely sexy.

"Mom," Lily calls from the couch. Kate leaves her husband in the kitchen and heads for her children. They've stopped clambering on each other now and have instead made themselves comfortable in a pile like cubs at hibernation.

Cosmo is on the floor and when Kate sinks into the armchair he gets up and pads over to her, lays his head in her lap to ask for attention. She scratches behind his ears, smoothes her fingers over his long nose.

"What's up guys?"

"What can we do now?"

"Well, it's about an hour until dinner. We could do some art. Sound good?"

The kids cheer and tumble off the couch, hurrying for the dining table. Kate has paper and colouring pencils in the suitcase and she fetches them, hands them out to the kids. By now Castle has finished cleaning up in the kitchen and he comes to join everyone else at the table.

"What I can draw, Daddy?" Jake asks when Castle sits down beside him.

"Hmm." Castle drums his fingers against his chin as he thinks. "Draw me a dragon. But a friendly one."

That snags Reece's attention and he lunges for the black pencil. "Toothless! He's friendly, Daddy."

"Sure, draw Toothless. It doesn't have to be though. You can imagine what your own pet dragon would be like."

Concentration makes the kids fall quiet as they work on their drawings. Kate is at the other end of the table from Castle and he catches her eye, offers her a soft smile. Joy makes its slow way through her system and she closes her eyes.

"Mama," Jake says insistently. He's next to her and he pokes her with a pencil. "You draw too. And Daddy. Everybody draw."

She does as she's told, ripping a sheet from the pad of paper and setting to work. Everyone seems to be drawing a dragon, so Kate draws her own cartoonish version as well. She colours it in blue, draws huge eyes and the curve of a kind smile at the dragon's mouth.

Castle's offering is purple and has long eyelashes. It makes the kids laugh and he grins, wiggling with amusement in his seat. "It's Mommy as a dragon."

Kate huffs and draws a tuft of dark, spiky hair on her dragon's head. "And now mine is Daddy. Whose is better?"

The kids scramble to get a better look at both drawings. Jake votes for Kate and Reece for Castle, and all four of them turn to look at Lily.

"I'll buy you a pony if you vote for me," Castle says.

"Don't listen to him," Kate fires back. "There's nowhere to keep a pony. I'll take you for ice cream once we get back home."

Castle chokes on a laugh and shakes his head at her. "Good campaign tactics, Senator. What are you gonna do, take every one of your constituents out for ice cream?"

"Oh, should I buy them all ponies instead?

Lily clears her throat and lays her hands palm down on the table.

"The winner," she says dramatically. She draws out the pause, delighting in having everyone's rapt attention. It reminds Kate of Martha and she shares an amused look with her husband. "Is me."

Lily's paper has six dragons on it, clearly supposed to represent their family. One of them has flames for hair and Castle chuckles. "Let's keep this one safe and you can show it to your sister when we get home."

The kids carry on drawing for a while and Kate and Castle leave them to it, heading to the kitchen to make dinner. Normally Castle feeds the kids before Kate gets home from work and then they have dinner together after their children are in bed. It's vacation though, so they'll probably just eat with the little ones.

"I'm thinking chicken and broccoli stir fry with rice," he suggests. His head is inside the refrigerator and Kate slides her arms around his waist, opens her mouth against the back of his neck. "Kate. Please."

She lets him straighten up, gives him space to get everything they need out of the fridge. It's fun to tease him, has been from the moment they met, but she's not looking to make him suffer.

They work together to make dinner. Kate takes charge of chopping up the chicken and broccoli and cooking the rice, while Castle puts together the sauce. It smells so good that the kids' heads pop up one by one to watch their parents cook, distracted from their drawing.

"Can you guys put your things away and help set the table please."

Kate passes them mats and cutlery to be set out on the table. She takes charge of their drinks herself, because even Lily has been known to get careless with glasses. The kids have their colourful plastic cups, but Kate wants wine and Castle nods his agreement.

While he finishes cooking she takes the boys to wash their hands. Lily feeds the dog and then she comes to join them in the bathroom. It's a tight fit with four of them in there and Jake and Reece nudge each other, jostling for Kate's attention. It almost becomes a fight, but Kate intervenes and separates the two of them.

Dinner is delicious. The sauce is so good that the kids don't even seem to realise that they're eating broccoli. They've been pretty lucky so far, and their children will eat most things, but there's often some grumbling whenever they're faced with vegetables.

Afterwards, Kate cleans up. She lifts Lily to sit on the counter and they chat together while Kate washes the dishes. Her daughter really does seem okay, but Kate finds herself wanting to keep Lily close.

The boys ran outside and Castle is chasing them. He seems to be caught somewhere between a game and wanting to actually round them up. Cosmo is out there too, jumping and barking and wagging his tail so violently it almost catches Reece in the face.

"Mom, instead of a bath, can I have a shower?"

"Sure baby. You need to have it now though okay? I think Daddy wants to get the boys bathed and into bed pretty soon, so you don't want to disturb them."

Lily hops down from the counter and disappears off towards the kids' bedroom and the attached bath. A moment later the shower turns on and her voice rings out as she sings some made up song.

Once she's done with the dishes Kate heads for the bathroom, collecting a towel for Lily from the linen closet. She arrives right in time for her daughter getting out of the shower and she holds the towel open, wrapping her arms tight around Lily when she steps into it.

Her wet hair sticks to her cheeks. She lays her head against Kate's shoulder and dampens her shirt. Kate rubs the towel over Lily to dry her off and they stay cuddled on the bathroom floor.

Castle finds them there, the boys crowding the doorway behind him. He sinks down to the tile and wraps his arms around them both, tugging until Kate falls half into his lap. The boys scramble to join in the family hug, a jostle of elbows and knees.

It doesn't last very long before Reece gets impatient and breaks away, dragging Jake with him. Castle kisses their daughter's damp head. When he gets up Kate goes along with him, Lily drawn to her feet as well.

"I'm gonna bathe the boys. Why don't you two go sit outside. It's a beautiful evening."

Lily disappears to get her pajamas on, and Kate takes a moment to wind her arms around her husband's neck. He nudges her until her butt meets the sink and his mouth meets hers. All three of their kids are right outside so they keep it light, just the soft press of his lips to hers and the card of his fingers through her hair.

"I love you," he says when they break apart. His hand rests at her chest, the tips of his fingers just flirting with her clavicle. "You're an amazing mom."

"It's easy when I have you as my partner," she murmurs back to him. It makes him blush and she laughs, pats his cheeks.

In the bedroom, Jake and Reece are bouncing on the twin bed. They're clinging tight to each other for balance, and when Kate and Castle come into the room they fall heavily to the mattress.

"Can you get them undressed and I'll run the bath?"

"Sure," she tells Castle. When he leaves the room Lily goes with him, skipping along at his side and holding tight to his hand.

The boys are both eyeing Kate suspiciously, still clinging to each other. She laughs and goes to her knees on the floor, opening her arms to her sons. They climb down from the bed and into her lap.

"Let's get you ready for bath time."

Reece slides out of her arms but Jake stays cuddled close, grabbing at her hair like he did as a baby. "No bath, Mama."

"Yes bath," she says, and Reece giggles. "You're all stinky."

"Lily say that witches can smell clean children. If we're dirty we can be safe," Jake insists.

Kate groans and presses a hand to her forehead. Lily has been working her way through the Roald Dahl collection Alexis bought her for Christmas. A couple of weeks ago it was _The Witches_ , and apparently their daughter has been sharing the story with her brothers.

"There are no witches near the cabin, baby. And even if there are, Daddy and I will keep you safe. I promise, nothing bad will happen to you."

Ridiculous emotion sticks in her throat and she swallows hard. Her eyes are closed, and the warm touch of a little hand at her cheek startles her. Reece's face is furrowed in concern and he peers at her.

"Mommy?"

"It's okay, peanut. You're safe." She gets a sloppy, wet kiss to her cheek from Jake and she smiles, kisses the end of his nose in return. "Now come on. Daddy's waiting."

They can get undressed themselves, but they can't be trusted to do it without it taking a half hour. Her boys are as easily distracted and as eager to play as their father, and the two of them together get into all kinds of mischief. She stays where she is on the floor and supervises while they worm their way out of their pants and shirts.

At their father's call of their names, her two naked sons run out of the room towards the bathroom. Lily is in the living room and Kate goes to find her. She's reading again, her lip caught between her teeth. When Kate touches her shoulder she jerks in surprise and her eyes fly up to her mother's face.

"Hey there. Wanna brush your teeth now and then you can get straight into bed later?"

She stays where she is to give Lily space. Her daughter is maturing so quickly, no longer needs Kate to hold her hand through getting ready for bed. When she comes back she climbs into Kate's lap on the couch. Her hair is drying now, as sleek and straight as her father's.

"Mom, you said we could sit outside and listen to the woods."

"Let's do that. I'm just gonna make tea. You want some milk?"

Lily nods and Kate heads for the kitchen. While the water is heating for her tea she pours Lily a mug of milk and heats it up in the microwave, careful not to let it get too scalding. The kettle whistles its insistent call and she pours water into her mug.

When she was pregnant the first time and she couldn't have caffeine, she got really into herbal teas and she's never grown out of it. She has camomile tonight and she carries both mugs out onto the deck, beckoning with her head for Lily to follow her.

Her daughter snags the blanket from the back of the couch and brings it outside with her. It takes some shuffling for them both to get comfortable underneath the blanket. Kate winds up with it around her shoulders and Lily on her lap, holding onto the edge of the fuzzy knit to keep it closed.

She accepts the mug from Kate and they drink in silence. The bathroom window is open, and the occasional shout of delight from one of the boys or grumble from Rick reaches them. Mostly though, they can hear the crescendo of the forest as it comes awake. Dusk is beginning to fall, and insects hover over the surface of the lake in their thousands.

An owl calls mournfully from the woods and Lily echoes the sound softly. Kate almost hopes that a bear will make an appearance just so she can see the wonder on the faces of her children.

"It's so nice here, Mom," Lily says. She's finished her milk now and she puts her mug down on the little table. "Grandpa said it was, but I didn't know."

"I'm really glad you think so."

They sit together to watch the sun sink into the lake. The evening brings with it a chill and Kate holds her daughter tighter, making sure the blanket is tucked in tightly around her. After a little while Rick emerges and leans over the back of the lounger to kiss the crown of each of their heads.

"Hey there, my beautiful girls."

"Hi Daddy."

"Kate honey, the boys are asking for you to read them their story tonight."

She eases Lily out of her lap and untangles the blanket from around herself, passing it to her daughter. "Carry on cuddling with Daddy."

Castle settles himself on the lounger and opens his arms to their daughter. It's such a sweet picture that Kate lingers for a moment, watching her husband and her eldest baby. The boys must be getting restless though, so she pulls herself away.

The two of them are in the twin bed, a book already selected and waiting for Kate. She squeezes her way in between the two of them and they rest their heads against her arms. When Lily was first starting to enjoy stories, Kate was embarrassed to have anyone hear her reading. She felt foolish doing voices, and she worried Castle would tease.

Instead, he had intercepted her in the hallway and kissed her, his face slack with emotion. He loves hearing her read to their kids, and these days Kate feels no shame. She does voices and sound effects, makes it a whole experience.

It does mean that the twins rarely fall asleep during the story itself, but it helps them to wind down and start preparing to sleep. Once she's finished the book she eases out of Reece's bed and carries Jake over to his. She tucks them both in and kisses their cheeks, wishes them sweet dreams.

Back outside, Lily is still sitting in Castle's lap and chatting to him about Roald Dahl and what about his books she likes so much. Cosmo is asleep on the deck, his long body curled in a half moon. He adores Lily, following her around like a lamb in a nursery rhyme. He doesn't even blink open an eye when Kate approaches.

When he first came home with them he took a while to get settled. He was easily spooked, and he never seemed completely at ease. It's been almost a year now, and Cosmo has mellowed into a wonderful dog.

Castle and Lily finish their conversation and he eases their daughter out of his lap. He heads inside to say goodnight to the boys.

"Mom," Lily frowns. "I brushed my teeth and then I had milk."

"Right. Oops." Kate chuckles."I think you'll be okay for tonight sweetpea."

It's getting cold now that night is rolling down from the mountains. Kate's skin prickles with gooseflesh and she shivers.

"Let's go inside. It's getting chilly, huh?"

Lily goes ahead with the blanket and Kate collects the mugs, whistling for Cosmo to follow her inside. She closes the French doors and locks them, hangs the key up out of reach. Lily has made a nest in the armchair with her book, and Kate stretches out along the couch and lets herself doze.


	6. Chapter 6

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

Once Lily is in bed, Castle pours a glass of wine for himself and his wife and joins her on the couch. She's changed into her pajamas already, those soft yoga pants and a huge t-shirt she stole from him years ago. He does miss the tiny camo shorts, but like this she's cuddly and sweet.

He's at the other end of the couch and Kate dumps her feet in his lap. They're bare and she wiggles her toes at him, a grin tugging at one corner of her mouth. Castle hands her her wine glass and wraps his newly free hand around one of her feet just to feel the work of her toes against his palm.

"She go down okay?"

"Seemed to. I'm-" he stops himself for a moment and tries to figure out how not to sound accusatory. "I'm a little worried she might have a rough night."

Kate sighs and draws her knees up, pulling her feet out of his grip. Her wine is untouched and she sets it down on the table next to the couch. "I'm sorry, Castle. I didn't know what to do. I don't ever want to be the kind of parent that lies to my child."

"Hey, it's okay. Our daughter is amazing, Kate. I'm sure she'll be just fine. I'm just. . .bracing for the worst."

It seems to appease her a little bit and she reaches for her glass again, actually sipping from it this time. He brought a bottle of that red she likes from their stash at the loft and her tongue darts out to touch her lips now, capturing the last of the flavour.

"Wanna watch a movie on the laptop?" he suggests. It's rare that they get to have a quiet evening to themselves, but all three kids are wiped out from so much activity today and they're sleeping hard and still as stone.

"Sure." She stays where she is while he goes to fetch his computer from the drawer in their room. When he comes back she's swivelled around on the couch so he can sit beside her and she's got a fuzzy blanket pulled over her lap.

He has a few of their go-to movies saved to his laptop and he lets Kate scroll through. He really doesn't care what they watch as long as he gets to snuggle with her. She picks something and puts the laptop down on the coffee table.

Leaning back against his shoulder, she reaches for his hand and draws his arm around her. He's wearing a t-shirt, and he gets a kiss to the warm skin at the inside of his bicep.

"I was thinking tomorrow we could take it easy, acclimatise to being here. And then the day after maybe head over to the farm? I'd love to see how they react to the animals. And I know Jay and Abby are dying to meet them."

"Sounds perfect honey." Kate turns her head towards him and he takes the opportunity to kiss her. She tastes good, like wine and herself. He keeps it fairly light, and after a moment she breaks away.

They watch the movie in easy silence. Around the halfway mark, Kate starts yawning and it triggers his own in echo. She's drowsy, nodding off against his shoulder and her eyelashes skim her cheeks.

When the credits roll he nudges her, murmurs her name, and her eyes come open. "M'awake. What time is it?"

"Almost ten. Ready for bed?"

"Yeah," she admits. Sometimes he longs for the nights they would stay up until two, talking and laughing and kissing. With three kids they just can't do it anymore, but he wouldn't trade their life for anything.

He lets her have first turn in the bathroom and he takes the dog out to go to the toilet. He has to rouse Cosmo, coax him into standing, and he chuckles at the lazy old creature. "I know buddy, but you gotta. Come on."

Castle doesn't bother with the leash, and Cosmo doesn't stray more than a yard from the bottom of the porch steps. Once he's done he trots back inside and right into his crate, curling up for the night. Rick stoops to scratch behind the dog's ears and his whole body yelps in protest.

It makes him grunt, and from the bathroom Kate chuckles. "I've got the icy-hot, babe. Just say when."

"I'm fine," he says back. He shuffles to the kitchen to get them both a glass of water for the night and he turns out all of the lights.

When he peeks in on his children, all three of them are sleeping on their stomachs. Reece has the covers pulled up high so that only the top of his head shows, his hair spiking just like Castle's does. Jake has kicked his sheets down to the end of the bed, and Lily doesn't seem to have moved at all since Rick tucked her in.

"They okay?" Kate asks when he goes to find her in the bedroom.

"They're fine. Out cold, all three."

He wonders if Kate might read for a while, but when he comes back from the bathroom the lamp on her nightstand is turned out and she's curled on her side. Facing away, and he takes that as an invitation to wrap himself around her.

"If Lily has a nightmare," he murmurs against his wife's cheek. "Wake me? I wanna do that part together."

"I will," Kate promises. She twists awkwardly to kiss him. He doesn't want to back up and give her room. It means she can only get her mouth against his chin and her teeth scrape, the tip of her tongue darting out.

It takes him a while to fall asleep, as heavy as his body is with exhaustion. Kate's asleep in moments, her breathing drawing out and her body loosening in his arms. The darkness here is so complete that it's suffocating. He can hardly see the curve of Kate's nose right in front of his face.

His wife is so very brave. He's always known that, almost from the second he first saw her, but he's still in awe. The shooting is difficult for him to talk about. He would rather push it aside. It was so long ago and so much has changed since that it doesn't feel like it happened to him at all. Only the echoes of pain through his body remind him, prevent him from shedding the skin of that life to reveal himself shiny and pink and healthy.

Not only did Kate talk about what happened, she managed to do it in a way that hasn't totally traumatised their seven year old. He sifts his fingers through her hair, careful not to pull her back out of sleep. The motion is drugging, and after a while he looses his footing and tumbles right in after her.

He snaps awake to hands at his shoulders and the hot press of pain along the bottom of his ribcage. When he opens his eyes Kate's pale face hovers disembodied in the darkness above him, wan and desperate as the moon.

"You awake?"

"Lily?" he gets out. His mouth is sock, furry and mismatched, and he works his tongue over his teeth. "Nightmare?"

His wife shakes her head and moves back. It gives him room to sit up, and then he sees a shivering, naked toddler at the end of the bed. "Jake?"

"He wet the bed. I need you to get him cleaned up and in fresh PJs while I throw the sheets in the washer."

"Right." He scrapes a hand over his face. Already he's growing more alert. His son is crying softly and trembling at the foot of the bed. Castle gets out from under the sheets, half rolling, and he stumbles his way to his son.

"Hey, my man. It's okay. I got you."

He doesn't want to pick Jake up. The sharp ammonia scent of him makes Castle frown in spite of himself. He takes his son's hand instead and leads him to the bathroom. When he flips on the light Jake mewls and throws himself against his father's legs, clinging.

"Sorry buddy. Sorry. I know. Too bright."

For a moment he flounders. His brain feels too big for his head. Castle turns out the light and opens the bathroom door a crack, to let the light from the hallway slice inside. It cuts a wedge in the floor tile that Jake cowers from, but at least he shows his face.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

Castle lifts his son into the bathtub and starts the water running. It would probably be faster to just shower him, but he doesn't want Jake to have to go back to bed with wet hair. He puts the plug in and fills the tub with a couple of inches of warm water.

The washcloth and the soap are still in here from bath time earlier this evening. Jake is still crying and he sits down heavily in the water, his legs straight out in front of him. Castle sinks to his knees as slowly as he can manage. A groan escapes without his permission when his legs meet the chilled tile.

"Hey, come on, don't cry. You're okay."

"I sorry, Daddy," Jake gets out. He lifts his face to Castle's, his eyes red and puffy. "I not mean to."

His heart aches for his son, this pitiful boy mewling in the bathtub like a kitten. Rick sets the sponge aside and lays a palm at Jake's back, rubbing softly.

"It was just an accident, my man. Accidents happen. Mommy and I aren't mad. You don't have to be sorry."

It takes Jake a little while to wind down, but as Castle works the washcloth gently over his skin his crying subsides. He's mute and still in the water, half in dreamworld, and he lets Castle get him clean without any of the usual fuss of bath time.

Kate pokes her head around the door and then comes all the way inside. One hand lands at the back of Rick's head and she thumbs his ear while her other hand brushes Jake's hair back out of his face.

"We didn't think to bring any clean sheets here buddy, so you're gonna have to come into the big bed with Mommy and Daddy."

She sends Castle an apologetic look, but he kind of wants to keep Jake close. Seeing any of his children cry opens a ragged wound inside his chest, and he needs to cuddle up with his son and ease it closed.

"Let's get you dried off." Castle lifts Jake out of the water and passes him over to Kate and the towel she's holding out. While she rubs their son dry and holds him close, Castle drains the water from the tub and rings out the washcloth, drapes it over the edge to dry.

Kate's got clean pajamas with her and she gets Jake into them, scoops him up to carry him back through. She's murmuring to him, lips at his ear, and Castle catches whispers of pet names. So much love in her voice and her soft hands on their boy.

He falls heavily back into bed, Kate at his side with Jake between them, and even the rackety tumble of the washer can't keep him awake for more than a handful of seconds. A couple of times in the night he jerks violently awake to the sharp press of an elbow in his side or hot breath huffing into his ear, but it's just a moment of awareness and then he's under again.

In the morning, the sun creeps its long dawn fingers underneath the curtains, and he's awake for good. Kate and Jake are both up already. His wife is propped up against the headboard in a pile of pillows and Jake is cuddled against her chest.

"Hi Daddy,' he says when he sees Rick's eyes open. Castle grunts and struggles upright in the bed. His limbs feel disconnected from his body, but he manages to get an arm around his wife and son.

Kate kisses him good morning, closed mouth and soft. "Sleep okay?"

"Mm. Mostly. I'm stiff." Her face goes pink and her eyes dart down. So fast, but he catches it and he groans. "Not. Kate. No."

"Sorry," she smirks. Jake is playing with the ends of his mother's hair where they hang down over her shoulder, totally oblivious. "I'll rub some gel on you. Give me a minute."

"Not urgent." She opens her mouth to tease again and he ploughs right on through. "Others not up yet?"

That snags Jake's attention and he climbs over Kate's legs to the floor, charges out of the room. They've got probably less than a minute until all three kids are back in the bed with them, so Castle lunges for his wife and slicks his tongue past the seam of her lips, morning breath and all.

Kate's whole body rises against his and she moans into his mouth, dark and so very sexy. He has to stop, or else he's going to roll her under him and forget the kids entirely. He breaks apart from her and reaches for his glass on the nightstand, takes a long drink of water.

Jake comes running back into the room with Reece and Lily stumbling blearily along behind him. The three of them climb into the big bed and scramble to get comfortable. Castle winds up with Reece sitting on his thighs and Lily lying sideways, her head on his chest and her legs across Kate.

"Morning, my babies," he says to make them laugh. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Daddy," Lily whispers. He ducks his head to hear her better. "I can tell you later?"

Her concerned eyes cut to her little brothers. Pride washes through him so swiftly that it steals his breath. He tucks his daughter's hair back out of her face, leans down to kiss her forehead. "Sure. Tell us later."

They stay in bed for a little while. The kids are restless as always and they climb all over. Beneath the covers, Kate's hand slides into his and she squeezes his fingers. Eventually, their children ask for breakfast and everybody gets out of bed and heads for the kitchen.

"Mommy?" Reece asks. Kate has her head in the refrigerator while she figures out what to make for breakfast, and he tugs on her leggings. "What will we do today?"

"Well, I think we should go for a walk in the woods."

The kids cheer and Kate laughs, her eyes meeting his. He shrugs, because he has no better clue than her. They're hopping around in the kitchen, getting underfoot actually, and he herds them towards the table to wait while Mommy makes eggs.

He needs coffee this morning. Badly. Castle starts the machine and sets out mugs for them both. Every time he moves the muscles along the right side of his ribcage pull taut, making his breath come shallow.

"Honey. I think I need that icy hot."

"Right." Kate's got a spoon in one hand and the handle of the skillet in the other. She's making scrambled eggs, adding butter and cheese as well. For a moment she looks helpless, her hands full and her face slack.

Castle takes the spoon out of her hand and takes over stirring the eggs. "I've got this. You go get it."

She's back almost immediately with the tube of icy hot. The eggs are almost done and he doesn't want to stop stirring. Kate steps in close, her body between his and the stove. She nudges up his shirt with one hand and works the gel into his skin with the other. Her fingers are light and quick, and the relief is immediate.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

He serves the eggs into a dish and puts it on the table, comes back to collect the toast from the toaster and put another round of bread in. Lily has gotten the orange juice from the fridge and poured glasses for everyone.

Breakfast is always noisy and messy and a little frantic. Kate has to eat fast before she leaves for work, and then he has to get Lily to school and the boys to Pre-K. At the cabin, there's more time to enjoy their food and each other's company.

He ends up with Reece in his lap. Their son is handsy this morning and he feeds Castle pieces of toast, patting his father's cheek after each bite. Lily and Kate have their darks heads bent together as they chat, and Jake interjects every so often.

Once the boys are done eating they get down from the table and disappear into their bedroom to play. Lily stays at the table and Kate drapes her arm along the back of their daughter's chair.

"Okay, Lilypad?"

"I had a nightmare, Mommy."

Kate's face collapses with grief. Her hand comes up to worry at the scar in the centre of her chest. She has so many now, but this is the one she jumps to first. It's the one that started everything, really, and she's protective of it.

"What happened?" Castle prompts, because his wife is mute with guilt and horror.

"The giants got me and they were going to eat me," Lily says, and a little shiver rolls through her. It reminds him of Kate when they watch horror movies, the anticipation and delight in the scare. "They almost crunched my bones."

Kate's eyes dart to his and he laughs, shaking his head. "You had a nightmare about _The BFG_?"

"Yes Daddy. But I stayed in my bed. I was brave."

"Oh, sweetheart," Kate says. She reaches for Lily and draws her into her arms, holds her tight. "You don't have to be brave about that. You know you can always come get me if you need me."

Lily lets her head rest against Kate's shoulder and then she straightens up again, jumping down from her mother's lap. She darts off after her brothers and disappears. Castle gets out of his chair and comes around to Kate's side, scrambling for her hand.

"It's okay, Beckett. Just normal kid stuff. She's fine."

"I really thought. . ." Kate scrapes a hand over her face. She leaves her fingers at her chin, lets it rest in the cup of her palm. "God, Rick. I thought she dreamed about me being shot and lay there in the dark alone and afraid just to try and prove that she's brave."

His heart cries out at the wretched look on Kate's face. Part of him wants to coddle, wants to draw her into his arms and let her cry it out, but that is so seldom what she needs.

"Beckett," he says instead. "You need to get it together. It didn't happen, and any second they're going to come back and know something's wrong."

"Yeah." She nods, and he watches her draw the pieces of herself in one by one until she's solid and unwavering once more. "I'm good. Thank you."

He kisses her, gets almost immediately interrupted by the kids coming back into the room. Incredibly, all three of them are dressed. Their clothes are mismatched, adorably so, and excitement is a livewire that threads between the three of them.

"Mama, we can go outside?" Jake tugs insistently on Kate's hand. She laughs and scoops him up, peppering his face with kisses that make him squirm and yell.

"Let Daddy and me get dressed, sweet boy. We'll be quick."

Rick clears up the breakfast dishes and dumps them in the sink to deal with later. The kids are hopping with anticipation and they chase Cosmo around the living room. He leaves them to it and goes to find his wife.

She's in the shower. Facing away, and when he opens the door she yelps and spins around. The arc of her hair sends droplets showering across his bare chest.

"Castle! We don't have time."

"I'm saving time," he shows her his palms. She's scowling at him, but he closes the door and reaches for his shower gel. "Not trying to start anything. We've got three impatient kids out there."

Kate's hair is tied up on top of her head to keep it out of the water, but tendrils cling to her forehead and the pale column of her neck. Droplets of water weigh her eyelashes, slide down her torso. It takes a concentrated effort to get on with washing himself and keep his hands off her.

When she's done showering, he expects her to step out of the stall. Instead, she winds her arms around his neck and the whole slick length of her body aligns with his. She feels so good, soft and smelling amazing, but she doesn't let him kiss her.

Her nose nudges his, her breath against his mouth. "Hurry up, Castle. Your kids are waiting."

She leaves him there in the shower. Once she's gone, he turns the water all the way down to cold and he bows his head against the tile, breathing raggedly.

By the time he's dried and dressed and back out in the living room, everyone has their sneakers and a sweater on. It's a much cooler day than yesterday, and he's glad he won't have to remember sunscreen for their kids every couple of hours.

Cosmo has his harness on and he bounces by the back door, nudging his head against Lily in impatience. All four of them are waiting on him, so he hurries through getting his shoes on and he joins them at the door.

He winds up in charge of the dog's leash. Cosmo tugs a little, wanting to race ahead with the kids, but after a few minutes he accepts that he's not going to be set free and he trots alongside them.

Kate's hand is in his. It's a loose hold to allow them to navigate through the detritus of the forest floor. Her fingers are slender and cool around his. Every so often, she turns her head towards him and she smiles. Leaves are sprouting into life along the branches that bow over their heads. It makes the light dappled and soft, makes Kate ethereal.

The kids are racing ahead, exploring the forest, but they stay within sight of their parents. He and Kate try to give them freedom, try to step back and let them explore and make their own mistakes. It's so hard when they've seen firsthand the horror of the world. He loves his children more than his own self, would do anything to protect them, but they won't be able to grow as individuals if he suffocates them.

"Think they've got the stamina to make it to the waterfall?"

He considers for a moment. They're young, but they're excited and he feels like that adrenaline will go a long way.

"Yeah, they should do. But no one is jumping off it until they're eighteen." Kate frowns, and he relents. "Okay. Sixteen."

"I was twelve."

" _Twelve_? Did your mom and dad know you were doing that?"

"Not. . .no." One corner of her mouth tugs up in sheepishness. It makes him laugh and he darts in to kiss her cheek. It's quick, but it almost sets them off balance.

Ahead of them, Lily has stopped walking and turned back to wait. When they catch up, she takes Kate's free hand. Kate lets go of his so she can walk with their daughter instead, and he falls half a step behind just to watch them together.

"Mom? Are we going someplace, or are we just walking?"

"We're gonna take you guys to find the waterfall," Kate tells their daughter.

The boys have noticed that their sister is no longer with them and they come running back to join the rest of their family. Reece tries to hold on to Castle's pants leg while they walk. It throws him off and he stops entirely, crouches down to meet his son's eyes.

"I can't walk if you're clinging to me, peanut."

"Sorry Daddy." He flings himself at Castle, wrapping his arms around his father's neck. Castle laughs and cuddles him close, lifts him off his feet for a second. It's awkward with Cosmo's leash still in his hand, and his son almost gets tangled up.

The dog nudges his slender body between them so he can lick Reece's face. His tail thumps against Castle's thigh and he wiggles with easy joy. Jake comes back to wrap his arms around Cosmo's neck.

"Don't hang on him, buddy. You might hurt him. Just do soft pats."

Jake lets go of the dog and strokes the silky crown of his head instead. Lily and Kate are forging ahead, about to disappear among the trees. His daughter's redcurrant coat flashes amongst the branches.

"Come on, Mommy has something cool to show us. The girls are getting ahead."

The boys cry out in indignation and run after their mother and sister. They hate to be left out, and when they reach Kate they clamour for her attention. Castle heaves himself off the ground and catches up with everybody else.

"Are we almost there, Mama?" Jake asks. He's starting to drag his feet.

"It's not much longer."

"Here." Castle lifts his son to sit on his shoulders. Jake giggles and holds on to Castle's ears. He's a broad guy, carries most of his strength in his arms and shoulders, so he can give his son a piggyback for as long as Jake needs it.

He recognises this part of the forest, and after a moment the stream's bubbling laugh rings out. Kate makes everyone stop and fall silent, listening to the merry tumble of the water. It doesn't take them very long then.

When they finally reach the bottom of the waterfall, all three kids are mute with wonder. Jake is still on Castle's shoulders and he leans down so his mouth is at his father's ear. "It's so big, Daddy."

"Hey Lilypad?" Castle says. His daughter's mouth is hanging open in awe and she turns back to look at him. "Remember how we told you that Mommy and I came here when we first started dating?"

"Yeah."

"Well, when we were here, we jumped off the waterfall."

The three of them gasp in unison and Kate laughs. "We did guys. It's true. Daddy was really scared. I thought I was gonna have to push him."

All four of them laugh at him then. Joy moves through his chest, slow spreading and wonderful. He sets Jake back on his feet again and he follows along as Kate encourages the kids to put their hands in the water and feel how cold it is.

They shriek and splash each other, getting Kate in the face a couple of times as well. Cosmo bows his head to drink from the pool at the bottom of the waterfall. The leash is making everything awkward, so Castle unhooks it.

"I'll chase him," he promises Kate when she comes back to him. The kids are still splashing at the edge of the stream and she lays her cheek to his shoulder.

"It's okay. Let's let them rest a bit before we walk back."

There are a few rocks close to the stream and Castle sits on one of them. It's a balancing act not to slide right off but he manages and Kate sits beside him. He slides an arm around her waist so that she doesn't fall, tucking his fingertips into her pocket.

"Mommy!" Lily calls from the bank of the stream. She's got droplets of water clinging to her hair and she shakes her head, grinning so wide. "There's a fish."

"What colour fish is it?"

"It's green!" Lily ducks her head again, pointing the fish out to her brothers so they can watch it too.

Kate lets her heavy head rest against his shoulder. "She hardly ever calls me that any more."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah. You still get Daddy from her, but most of the time I'm Mom. I miss it."

She heaves a sigh and he kisses the crown of her head. "You know why though honey?"

"Why?"

Grumpiness has made her face all scrunched up. Castle shifts to put some space between them, enough that he can see her. He tucks her hair back out of her face and darts in for a fast kiss.

"She's in awe of you."

"Rick," she huffs. Kate ducks her chin and lovely colour floods the apples of her cheeks and spreads down her neck and into the tips of her ears.

"It's true. She looks up to you so much. She wants you to think that she's smart and grown up, so she calls you Mom. It doesn't change anything, Kate. You're always gonna be her Mommy."

He gets a smile for that and she lifts her eyes to his again. "I know. I just miss it. She's getting so big, so fast."

"Tell me about it. I'm about to become a grandpa."

Kate has been teasing him about it since Alexis told them she's pregnant. He feels nowhere near old enough for anybody to be calling him Grandpa. His youngest children are only four years old, and he's not ready to sit in an armchair and read the newspaper.

"Oh, babe," Kate laughs. She leans in to kiss him, her hands at his cheeks for balance. "It doesn't mean you're old. And I still have the hots for you."

"You have the hots for me?" He kisses her again, has to stop because she's laughing into his mouth.

The kids are heading back towards them now, Cosmo in tow. Reece tries to climb up Castle's legs and Kate plucks him off, sets him down again.

"Can I have a photo of you guys with the waterfall. Go stand next to it please."

They arrange themselves with Lily in the middle, her arms around her brothers. Kate only has her phone with her, but the camera on it is pretty good. She frames the shot and calls for them to smile, takes a couple of pictures.

"Here." Castle takes the phone from her. "You get in."

Kate crouches down next to Lily and wraps her arms around all three of the kids. His wife is never so beautiful as when she's with their children, and for a moment he forgets to take the picture because he's so in awe.


	7. Chapter 7

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

By the time they make it back to the cabin, the beasts are growing wild with hunger. Kate's body, when she takes the time to listen, is getting pretty insistent as well. It was a longer trek to the waterfall than she remembers it being, and all three kids are whining about their feet hurting.

Castle pulls things out of the refrigerator, searching for inspiration. He looks weary. Reece pitched a fit halfway back to the cabin and Castle had to carry their son on his shoulders the rest of the way. He kept assuring her that he was alright, but when the boys go down for their nap this afternoon she might send her husband right along with them.

"Let's just do sandwiches," she suggests. They've got plenty of bread, and there's cheese and cold cuts and salad.

"Guys, what would you like on your sandwiches?" The kids form a line next to their father and give him their orders one at a time. It's adorable, and Kate hides her smile against the palm of her hand.

She helps him to make lunch, buttering the bread for him so he can add the fillings quickly. Once everybody has a plate they head for the dining table, jostling to settle in a seat. They eat mostly in silence, both of the boys having to stop chewing every now and then so that they can yawn.

Kate chops up a couple of apples and hands out the slices to the kids. Sometimes even now Castle teases her about her penchant for takeout, asks her if she knows what healthy eating looks like. Since they had kids she's started cooking more, because even though he loves it she doesn't want him to have to shoulder the responsibility alone.

"Mommy?" Reece asks after he's finished eating. "Nap time?"

"Sure baby. Go ahead, I'll come tuck you in in a second."

The twins head for the bedroom and Lily goes along with them, a yawn cracking her jaw wide. Castle has started clearing up the lunch things, and she stops him with a palm at his shoulder blade.

"Babe. I've got this. You should take a nap, too. You look beat."

"I'm fine," he says automatically. Kate stares him down, watches him visibly take stock of his body. He relents, and his shoulders drop a fraction. "Okay. Although I'd rather have a _nap_."

He leers at her, his whole face tugging into lopsided goofiness. It makes her laugh and she captures his face in her hands, keeps him in place so she can kiss him. His tongue darts out to touch her bottom lip and she breaks away entirely.

"As much as I would love to, it's the middle of the day and we've got three kids. I don't think we can really get away with that anymore."

"You can say it," he laughs. "My exhaustion is entirely unappealing."

"Well. . ."

He pouts at her and she bites the petulant swell of his bottom lip, sucks it into her mouth to soothe. When she pulls back his face is blank with desire, his eyes fathoms deep. "Fine, fine. I'll go get some beauty sleep. Please at least relax with a book."

"I'm fine. Don't worry. Go get some rest."

She has to shove on him to get him moving. Exhaustion has him clumsy and he trips over his own feet, careening for a moment before he rights himself. He's sweet like this, all of his filters down. It reminds her so much of their sons.

Once he's gone, Kate heads for the kids' room. The boys are both in the twin bed, curled around each other and already asleep. Kate draws the covers up over them and kisses each of their foreheads. Reece has his hand over Jake's heart and for a moment Kate can only watch, struck by how fiercely she loves them.

Lily is in the top bunk, curled up small with the sheets pulled up to her chin. Her eyes are open and Kate smiles at her, sifts her fingers through her dark hair.

"Sweet dreams, Lilypad."

She kisses the tips of her fingers and dusts them to Lily's cheek in lieu of a real kiss. The kids are enjoying the bunkbeds, but she misses being able to climb in with her daughter and cuddle up, misses being able to kiss her goodnight.

All four of her favourite people in the world are asleep. Even the dog is curled up in his crate with his head on his paws. The sink is piled with dishes, because they haven't gotten around to cleaning up from breakfast yet.

Without the kids - okay, without Castle too - she can afford to take her time. Kate stacks everything into neat piles and starts the water running into the sink. She adds a generous squeeze of dish soap to the stream from the faucet and swirls her hand around to agitate it, make the bubbles form.

She's piqued the dog's interest and he gets up, comes to lie by her feet instead in case she drops a morsel for him. In the window over the sink, she can see a small section of the forest. A squirrel is running back and forth along a branch and Kate watches him, allowing muscle memory to take over while she washes up.

He clutches nuts and seeds tight in his hands, shelters them against his fat little body. Every so often he looks right at her and she holds her breath. She really does love the city, but she's at peace out here in these woods. Maybe she could convince Castle to retire out here, spend their twilight years reading by the fireplace.

This morning was clear and sunny, if cooler than yesterday, but now clouds gather in rich swathes overhead. They're a mottled grey, their bellies heavy with rainwater, and Kate sends a silent prayer upwards. She loves rain, loves curling up with a mug of hot chocolate to watch it, but her children will go nuts if they have to stay inside.

When she's finished she drains the water out of the sink and sets the kettle on the stove to boil. The dog whines to go outside and she opens the door, lets him run right out. So far, he's seemed totally disinterested in running away, but she keeps a close watch while he goes to the bathroom. She calls him and he trots back inside, jumping straight up onto the couch and curling up small.

At the loft, Cosmo has his own duvet that lives on the floor in Castle's office. During the day, while the kids are at school and Pre-K, the dog curls up next to Rick's desk and dozes while he writes. He's spoilt really, but Castle loves having a dog and his face is so earnest that Kate can't ever seem to tell him no.

The kettle whistles and Kate pours water into her mug. She's doing her best to cut down on her coffee intake, so the cup Castle made her at breakfast is going to have to last all day. Tea is not as repulsive to her as it once was, and she wraps both hands around her mug and carries it to the armchair.

She can see all the way down to the lake from here. Kate pulls a blanket over her legs and tucks her feet up onto the seat, laying her cheek against the high back of the chair. Spring is her favourite time of year. It wasn't for a few years. The change in the season seemed to make her and Castle lose their way every year like clockwork, but they finally figured it out. They got together in the spring, and now every year the vibrant burst of new growth reminds her how lucky she is.

Quiet hasn't appealed to her since she met Rick, but now that she's a mom she does relish these small moments where she doesn't have to be wiping anybody's nose or on the lookout for impending hazards. It's nice, but she misses her family even though they're only sleeping.

Kate finds a book on the shelves and reads for a little while, but her mind keeps wandering. Being back here opens a wound in her chest, and she misses her mother so much it aches. Now that she's a mother herself, she finds herself constantly wishing Johanna was a phone call away to give advice or just let her talk it out. Martha is wonderful, and Castle is the best partner she could hope for, but nothing can quite replace her own mom.

Jake is the first to emerge. He's still half asleep and he climbs up into the armchair with her and lays his head against her chest. His eyes are open, and he fiddles with the edge of the blanket.

"Hi, sweet boy. Did you have good dreams?"

"Yeah Mama." He's coming awake a little more now. He scrubs his face against her shirt, and then he lifts his head. "Was a really big fish. And then we swimmed and so _fast_ , Mama."

"Wow." Kate smoothes his hair down. His nap has made it stick up all over his head in funky spikes, and she does her best to flatten it. "That sounds so exciting."

They sit quietly together, Jake's hand fisted in her shirt. His body is so warm and good in her arms and he smells just the same as he did when he was a newborn. His breath is hot against her neck, making her skin prickle, and she shifts him in her arms just a little bit.

After a while Reece and Lily appear, hand in hand. Her babies are so sweet to each other, adore each other so much that her heart contracts and then expands, makes her breath catch. Jake slides out of her lap to join his siblings and the three of them camp out on the rug with their toys. It's been an hour and a half now, and Castle will regret it if he sleeps longer than this.

She leaves the kids in the living room and ducks into the bedroom to wake her husband. He's on his stomach, not even underneath the covers. Kate gets a knee on the mattress and leans in close, her lips at his ear.

"Rise and shine."

He groans and rolls onto his back. One clumsy hand lands against her thigh and he squeezes. "Kate. Hi."

"Hi handsome." She brushes his hair back out of his face and his eyes pop open. They're cloudy with sleep and he blinks a couple of times before he manages to focus on her. "Good nap?"

"Mm. Yeah. I feel better. What are they doing?"

"Playing on the rug."

"Come here." His voice is a dark thing in his growly throat and he tugs insistently on her. She goes willingly, sliding a knee over his lap and sinking to sit on his thighs. Leaning forward, she kisses him slow and good until he's moaning beneath her and his hips rock shallowly.

"Awake now?"

He whines and throws an arm over his face. It's so exactly like Reece that a laugh explodes out of her and ruins the moment entirely. Castle drops his arm to see her again and he smiles back. "Yes. Horrible woman. Give me a minute."

"Come find us." She presses a last kiss to his mouth and then she climbs out of bed and returns to the living room.

They spend most of the afternoon being sinfully lazy. The kids are still pretty tired from the walk this morning, and they seem content to play with their toys. Lily manages to finish _The BFG_ and she moves on to _James and the Giant Peach_. That one is Castle's favourite, and he interrupts their daughter every five minutes to quiz her on what she thinks about it.

Lily is patient with her father, answering his questions and asking a few of her own, but she clearly wants to concentrate on her book. Kate nudges Castle and he laughs, apologises to Lily.

The twins are playing with Legos and they draw their parents into helping them. They're building a rocket, but their tiny fingers fumble some of the pieces. Reece gets more and more frustrated, but it's Jake who eventually snaps. He throws the foundation of the rocket against the wall in anger and it smashes across the floor.

Reece cries, Jake yells, and Lily leaves the room entirely so she can concentrate. It's Kate's turn to discipline and she takes Jake to their room for a time out. He's usually the less aggressive of the two boys, so she's a little concerned.

After his time is up, Kate finds him calmer. She talks it through with him, explains that there are other ways to deal with frustration. Castle is better at this part than she is, but she does okay and she gets a hug from her son.

Watching Jake apologise to his brother and offer to rebuild the bottom of the rocket makes her heart soft. Castle reaches for her hand and squeezes, silent gratitude passing between them as their boys kiss and make up.

Castle tells the story of the time they had a case on Mars, calling Lily back out from the bedroom to hear it as well. All three kids are rapt, as they always are when they get to hear about cases. Sometimes Kate has to interject, because her husband likes to spin the truth to fit the narrative, but a lot of the time she gets just as drawn in as the kids.

It's interesting, to hear things from his perspective. Her favourite stories are the ones that happened before they were together, because he always throws in an aside about how much he loved her even then. It makes the kids groan and scrunch up their faces, but he always finds her eyes and gives her that easy smile.

The kids start to grow restless around four and they ask to go outside. The wind is picking up now and the trees shiver, but they're insistent. Castle takes charge of getting the three of them bundled up in sweaters and jackets, and Kate hunts for her own waterproof.

Outside, Kate stand sheltered in the cove of Castle's broad frame while the kids play tag. They run full tilt across the grass and Castle laughs, tightening his arms around her.

"That's Beckett energy."

"Excuse me," she huffs. "Of the two of us, who is it that can't go five seconds without some kind of entertainment?"

He laughs harder and steals a kiss from her affronted mouth. It's sweet, and she kisses him back. His huge hands slide inside of her coat and fist in the material at her waist, dragging her closer against him.

"Yes, but my entertainment can be video games or a movie. You need exercise every day, like Cosmo."

"I'm like the _dog_?"

Her husband is already backtracking, stumbling away from her and showing her his palms. It's funny, but it does kind of sting too. For a second, she allows that real hurt to wash across her face, just to make him feel guilty.

"It's not like I don't snuggle with you. And I read a lot."

"Oh, honey, no," he comes back towards her and wraps both arms around her. The hug crunches her bones together and lifts her right off the ground, and she huffs against his neck. When he sets her down again he keeps one arm tight around her so she can't escape, and he cradles her cheek in his palm.

"It's not an insult. You like to get a workout in. Nothing wrong with that. It keeps you fit, and that keeps you safe out there. I'd never fault you for that."

She gives in and kisses him, hopes he can taste the forgiveness on her lips. They're broken apart by the kids running back to them and worming their little bodies in between their parents' legs.

"Okay, okay," Kate laughs. Jake is clamouring to be picked up and she lifts him into her arms, swaying with him a little bit. "Everybody alright?"

"It's cold Mom," Lily says. She's frowning as if it's Beckett's fault that the weather isn't suitable and Castle tugs on her ear to shake her out of her grump.

He herds Lily and Reece towards the house and Kate carries Jake up the porch steps, whistles for the dog to follow as well. The three of them pile onto the couch and call for Cosmo to hop up as well. Castle snags the blanket from the armchair and covers them with it.

"Oh no, Mommy. Where are our children? I don't see them."

"Me neither. Where could they be?" Kate shares a grin with her husband and she leans over the back of the couch to prod the lumps beneath the blanket. "Nothing here, just some pillows."

Castle winks at her and heads around the couch. "Oh good, nice and comfortable for me to relax."

He makes to sit down, very slowly so that he doesn't wind up actually crushing the kids. They struggle out from under the blanket, gasping with laughter. Little hands press against Castle's butt so he can't sit on them and they cry out.

"Oh there you are," Kate says. She finds a space at the end of the couch and worms her way into it, shifting the dog so that he's in her lap instead. "We missed you guys."

"We were right here, Mommy," Reece crawls down the couch and into her lap. He's heavy, crushing her thighs, and she groans under him. It's exaggerated to make him laugh and he buries his giggling face against her neck.

Lily is mostly invisible beneath her dad. He's sitting on the edge of the couch, but leaning backward to trap Lily's skinny body along the back of the cushions. She squirms to get free and pops up on Castle's other side, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Is it almost dinner time?"

"Sure. Wanna help me cook?" Castle offers. Their daughter is enthusiastic in her agreement and he laughs. Swinging her up, he carries her through to the kitchen and sets her down on the island to help him. Kate's not sure what he's making, but she's looking forward to the surprise once it's ready.

The boys have calmed down a little bit. They've stopped yelling with delight, at least, and they're settled on the couch. Jake plays peek-a-boo with the dog, covering Cosmo's eyes with his tiny hands and peering in close. Reece is still in Kate's lap, but he's driving a toy car up and down the length of her arm now.

"Kate honey," Castle calls from the kitchen. She twists on the couch to see him and her neck spasms, makes her huff a sharp breath.

"Yeah?"

"Little man's sheets aren't back on his bed yet. I think they're still in the machine."

It's a combo washer drier at the cabin, which as a parent she is endlessly grateful for. She collects the clean sheets from the machine and heads for the kids' room to get them on the bed. Reece comes with her, because he's fascinated by the process of putting the sheets on the bed.

He settles cross legged on the twin bed to watch Kate. After three kids she's gotten this down to a fine art, and when she's done her son applauds and does that comical whisper-shout thing as if an enormous crowd is cheering for her.

She lifts him by the ankles and carries him back into the living room upside down. His screaming laughter snags Castle's attention and he turns at the stove, shaking his head when he sees them.

"Don't scramble his brains, Mommy."

"Reece's brains are already scrambled, Daddy," Lily says, poking her tongue out at her brother. Kate lets him drop on the couch and he pops back up, his cheeks a vibrant flush.

"Five minutes or so, Kate," Castle calls to her.

She gets the table set and makes sure everyone's hands are washed, and Castle plates up the food. He's made pasta with tomato sauce, but he's added ricotta and and thin slices of eggplant to spice it up a little bit. Jake wrinkles his nose when he gets his bowl and he turns his grumpy face up to Rick.

"Daddy I hate eggplant."

"I did it a little bit differently this time, kiddo," Castle sits down next to Jake and ruffles his hair. "Just try a piece for me?"

Jake spears a piece of the eggplant on his fork and eyes it warily before he pops it into his mouth. He chews for a second and then his whole face lights up. "S'good, Daddy."

"Told you."

Kate is at the head of the table with Castle at her left and she leans in, gets her mouth at his ear. "What did you do differently?"

"Fried it in butter," he chuckles. Kate shakes her head at him, but Jake is spearing the slices of eggplant onto his fork and shovelling them into his mouth, so she can't exactly fault Castle for this.

After dinner Castle decides that it's family story time. Usually, he picks a book and the kids all cuddle up on the couch or in the big bed with him. Tonight though, he asks Lily to read. A look of undiluted panic washes across her face when he suggests it, and her wide eyes fly to Kate.

She nods at her daughter, offers her a smile. Lily takes pride of place in the middle of the couch, with one of her brothers on either side of her and the dog sprawled across their laps. Castle is on Reece's other side, their son tucked beneath his arm really, but Kate stays in the armchair so she can watch the five of them.

Lily goes back to the beginning of _James and the Giant Peach_ to read for everyone. She speaks slowly and clearly, stumbling only on a few words. Castle is such a good father, so patient and encouraging, and he helps her to sound out the unfamiliar syllables until she gets it.

The boys are rapt, the unusual notion of having their sister reading to them keeping them frozen in place. They laugh in parts, or lean in to peer at the illustrations, but they don't squirm or interrupt the way that they sometimes do when Rick is reading to them.

Once Lily is done she gets a round of applause from everyone that makes her flush to the tips of her ears. Embarrassment propels her into Kate's arms and she hides her face.

"You did great, Lilypad. I'm proud of you," Kate murmurs, stroking Lily's silky hair.

The kids stay up for a little while longer, and then Castle announces bedtime. It takes a while to get the three of them down tonight. The boys are resolutely uncooperative and they keep getting back out of bed the second Kate and Rick's backs are turned.

Eventually they fall asleep, both in the bottom bunk but Kate can't handle trying to separate them right now. She leaves them as they are, leaves the door open just a touch, and she follows Castle out into the living room.

"Come here baby," he says.

There's a note of teasing in his voice and he draws her in close with his hands at her hips. She's exhausted and she sags against his chest, but she lets him kiss her. His hands slide into the back pockets of her jeans and squeeze, lifting her against him.

"Too tired?"

"Mm," she considers for a moment, but his touch is insistent and it awakens the beast inside of her. "No. Not too tired."

"Good," he grins, and he leads her to their bedroom.

They can't laze around naked afterwards anymore. At least one of the kids winds up coming to find them in the darkness almost every single night, so it's not safe to run the risk. Kate summons the energy to pull on yoga pants and a giant sweatshirt and then she sprawls, spent, in the middle of the mattress.

Castle has his pajama pants on now, but he's not wearing a shirt. He wraps his arms around her and tugs until she's draped over his chest, his skin warm and smooth beneath her cheek. His fingertips trace the contours of her face, coming back to the slope of her nose again and again.

She's just starting to fall asleep when the heavens open. The ferocious jolt of lightning into the heart of the forest makes Rick gasp and he bolts upright, dislodging her from his chest. Thunder booms almost simultaneously and the whole cabin shivers.

"Did you hear that? Jeez. It must be right over us."

"It's okay babe," she promises him. Kate gets to her knees in the bed and kisses him, curling her fingers at his ears. "Cabin's sturdier than it looks. We're safe."

Another wounded cry rings out over their heads and Castle's face pales but he nods, forces a smile for her. Barely a moment later their door opens to reveal three timid little faces. The dog is right behind them, his tail between his legs and a whimper stuck in his throat.

Castle opens his arms, beckoning, and the kids pile into the bed. Seeing the dog shivering and alone at the foot breaks Kate's heart. She swore she'd never be that person, but she whistles for him and he jumps up onto the mattress as well, curling into a ball on her feet.

"It's so loud, Daddy," Lily says. She's worming her way underneath his arm, her face in his armpit. He's frowning and Kate snags a t-shirt from the floor, throws it at him.

He pulls it on and arranges the pillows against the headboard, leaning back against them. Lily is in his lap and Jake is curled against Kate's chest, with Reece roaming between them in a state of flux. Every time the thunder comes at least one of the kids yelps, and Castle's pretty twitchy too.

The curtains are open in their room, and outside a frenzy possesses the earth. Jake's hand lands at her cheek. He's the most afraid, breathless and halfway to sobbing in her arms. She rocks him like a newborn and kisses his warm forehead, murmurs sweetnesses to him.

A wind has sprung up from the end of the world and it lashes the forest, makes the trees bow their heads. The lake is a pit of frothing shadow and Reece frowns, tugs on Kate's shirt.

"Mommy, the fish will be okay?"

"They'll be just fine, peanut. It's pretty deep in the middle, so they can just swim down to the bottom and wait till it's over."

Kate has seen worse storms, both here and in the city. Something about being in the cabin, hunkered down close to the earth and vulnerable, makes it seem so much more cataclysmic, as if they alone are alive and terrified.

She won't let fear take hold of her children, not for this. Not for anything. Kate distracts them with stories, and then Castle joins in as well and tells them it was storming just like this the first time he got to kiss Mommy. That's not entirely true and she narrows her eyes at him over the top of Jake's head, gets a shrug in return.

Lily asks about the science of storms and Castle does his best to explain about air currents and the lift that comes from the mountains. Their daughter nods along, her legs drawn up and her arms wrapped around them. It seems to be doing the job of distracting her, at least.

The boys are falling asleep in tandem, Jake still in Kate's arms and Reece's face mashed against her leg now. Kate slides down in the bed until she's lying flat and she eases Jake onto the mattress next to his brother, tucking the sheets up over them both.

"We stay, Mama?" Jake whispers.

"Yes baby. Everyone can stay in the big bed tonight."

Her husband grumbles and frowns at her, but she's not about to turf her children out into the terrified night. After a moment he relents and lays back down, arranges the pillows. Lily is tucked in against him and he curls his massive arm around their daughter as if to shelter her.

The bed here isn't as giant as the one they have at the loft, so it's a tight fit with all five of them and the dog. It takes less than five minutes for all three kids to be asleep, but when Kate opens her eyes she sees her husband's pale, alert face in the darkness.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I couldn't kick them out."

"Me neither. We're not gonna get a wink of sleep though."

Kate huffs a breath of laughter and wiggles her legs beneath the sheets. The dog is asleep on her foot and it's growing numb so she slides it out from beneath him.

"Not as bad as when I was really pregnant with the boys. Remember, Lily was in with us almost every night? And I couldn't find a single comfortable position apart from you propping me up, so we were both just. . . _awake_. For three months."

The memory is making his face soft and he slides a hand slowly across the sheets, above their children, until he can tangle his fingers with hers. He was so good to her then, so patient when she got cranky. Towards the end of her pregnancy with the twins, he had to do the lion's share with Lily because Kate was constantly exhausted and aching and grouchy. Her husband did it all, and then he massaged her back and ran her baths and let her weep on his shoulder.

"Worth it."

"Of course." Kate rests her free hand at the curve of Reece's skull. "Wouldn't change a minute of it. Now stop talking. I'm sleeping."

"Right," he chuckles under his breath and lets go of her hand, takes his back. "Sorry, dear. As you were."


	8. Chapter 8

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

Kate wakes to a small, warm foot pressed against the side of her face. Jake is the wrong way round in the bed, his upper body buried beneath the covers and his feet on the pillow. Reece has both arms wrapped around one of his brother's legs, his mouth open at Jake's bare calf.

When she was pregnant, her belly huge and swollen, she would sometimes feel the press of multiple limbs from the inside and imagine the tangled knot of her two sons. They still sleep like that a lot of the time, folded around each other to feel the echo of the other's heartbeat.

Her eyes take a moment to adjust to the grey of the early morning. The sun is struggling up over the mountains as if it's afraid of the damage the storm has left behind and can't bring itself to look. The light is wan and it makes the room seem insubstantial, like an imprint left behind on a pad of paper.

On the other side of the bed, Rick is still fast asleep. He's on his back, and their daughter is tucked in against him with his arm over her middle. The four of them are totally out. Every so often there's a snuffling noise from one of them, but she couldn't begin to guess who.

When Kate moves her legs experimentally beneath the sheets the dog lifts his head to peer at her. It's not exactly comfortable to be squashed into a not-enormous bed with four other people and a four-legged companion. Kate moves slowly, careful not to jostle anybody, and she slides out of bed. The hardwood is cold and she curls her toes, hurries to steal a thick pair of Castle's socks from the drawer.

Cosmo follows her out into the living room and she puts some fresh water in his bowl for him. He bows his head to take a long drink and she scratches behind his ears. When he's done she lets him outside to go to the bathroom.

She was the one that needed convincing. Their lives are hectic, and she wasn't sure they could handle a dog as well. Even having Royal for just a night, all those years ago, made her think it would be unfair to bring an animal into their chaos. Especially a rescue. Cosmo is a wise and patient soul, good company on these early mornings her body still sometimes propels her into. He teaches her children about responsibility and kindness, and she wouldn't trade him for anything.

The coffee machine is louder than she remembers it being and she goes back to close the bedroom door. They've moved in her absence, arranging themselves in their unconsciousness to take up the newly vacant space. Her husband is never more endearing to her than fast asleep with their three children cuddled against him, and she lingers a moment in the doorway to take it in.

When her coffee is finished Kate collects a blanket and heads out onto the porch to drink it. The moment she opens the door the petrichor smell of the freshly washed earth rises up to meet her. She settles on the lounger with the blanket over her and one hand around the mug, and she closes her eyes.

Something about the woods after a storm soothes her. There are a few broken limbs, but the trees rally and straighten their backs. Rivers run through the forest floor like capillaries. Everything glistens with new life after the long-awaited rainfall, and leaves adorn the branches. The jewelled fingers remind her of Martha and she smiles to herself. Castle's mother is in her eighties now, but she's as vibrant as ever. The kids adore their grandmother, and although Kate aches for them to have known her own mother, she's so grateful they have Martha.

It's not at all quiet out here this morning. Still, certainly, but the creatures of the forest call out to one another as if rallying the troops or taking a head count. The birds are unashamed in their cries as they swoop from branch to branch, collecting materials to rebuild damaged nests. Kate walks down to the dock and leans against the railing. The water beneath her is murky with silt, churned up and still seething. It will take a day or two to settle and return to a slice of cut glass.

After a while paying her respects to the lake, she returns to sit on the deck again. Her family emerges one by one to join her. Lily appears first, still mute at this time of the morning. She climbs onto the bench and wriggles her way into Kate's arms. Kate tucks the blanket in snug around her daughter and just holds her, content to let Lily come awake at her own pace.

The boys are next, bringing with them noise and chaos as they always do. They clamber all over Kate and Lily, showering them both with kisses and cuddles. Once they're satisfied they sit in the lounger for a minute or so, and then they decide it's too cold without a blanket and they disappear back inside. Castle comes outside not long afterwards and leans over the back of the bench, kisses Lily's forehead and then Kate's mouth.

"Morning. When were you up?"

"After six," she tells him. It seems to appease him and he comes around to sit next to her, lifting Lily's bare feet into his lap and wrapping his huge hands around them. "You sleep alright?"

"Oh yeah, good." His hair is sticking up all over his head and he catches her looking, tries to smooth it down again. It's at a stage that only a shower is really going to be able to fix and he gives up, chuckling. He's cute, all rumpled like this, and Kate kisses his warm scratchy cheek.

Lily is chattier now that she's been awake for a while. She lifts her head from Kate's shoulder to say good morning to her dad, and she draws Kate in to the conversation as well. Their daughter dreamed about the storm, dreamed she was a pirate, and her face transforms with delight in the adventure as she tells them about it.

"Let's get some breakfast," Kate suggests once the story is finished.

They head inside and Castle calls for the boys. There's no response and he has to go and find them in the bedroom. He comes back carrying them both, an arm tight around each of their stomachs, and he puts them in their chairs for breakfast.

"Hey guys, Mommy has something exciting planned for today," he says once everyone has something to eat.

Three dark heads swivel to look at her and Kate laughs around her mouthful of cereal, hurries to swallow it. "Grandpa has some friends who own a farm nearby, so I thought we could go and see the animals. There's lots of babies this time of year. Sound good?"

"There will be sheeps?" Jake gets to his knees on his chair in earnestness, practically climbing onto the table. Kate promises him that they'll get to see the lambs and he grins so wide, hurrying to finish his breakfast so that they can go sooner.

It takes a while to get everyone dressed and ready to go, as it does almost every morning. Castle showers first because he needs to wash his hair and shave. Kate is faster, shaking some of the fancy dry shampoo that Alexis bought for her through the roots of her hair and winding it into a braid.

She has to get the kids ready single-handed, which takes some manoeuvring. They all decide that they want to wear their rain boots, so Kate puts hers on as well and clicks her heels together in the shiny red rubber boots. Castle gets everyone in the car, Cosmo as well because it seems entirely unfair to leave him here on his own.

"You drive," he tells Kate when she approaches. "No way I remember the route. And I want to DJ."

He makes as if to go around the front of the car and get in the passenger side, but Kate curls her fingers at his wrist to stop him. She slides her hand all the way up his arm and curves it around the nape of his neck, stepping in close until their thighs touch.

Castle is the one to break first. He kisses her, his fingers underneath both her raincoat and her sweater in search of bare skin. It makes her shiver, makes her needy, and she bites his bottom lip in retaliation.

"Good morning," she says when they break apart. His face is all goofy and love-slack and she kisses his cheek, pats his butt to get him moving.

In the SUV the kids are restless with excitement, so Rick chooses upbeat music that they can sing to and rock out from the confines of their car seats. The drive is only a half hour or so and they behave, mostly. Reece yells just to hear himself make noise, but Castle twists in his seat to give their son a warning look and he quiets down.

Anticipation blooms in the pit of Kate's stomach as they park the car and get the kids unloaded, head for the main barn in search of Jay and Abby. It's been such a long time since she's seen them and it's making her anxious.

Castle picks up on it. He's got Jake in his arms because their son is shy in crowds, takes a little while to warm up to a new situation. He shifts their son to his hip and slides his free hand into Kate's, squeezing her fingers.

They find Jay first, in the office of the barn. When he sees the five of them in the doorway he drops the ball of twine in his hands and opens his arms to them, brings Kate into a hug.

"Oh, Katie doll. Look at you. All grown up."

"I've been grown up for a while now," she laughs, and she kisses Jay's white-whiskered cheek. He smells earthy, like hayseed, just as he did when Kate was a timid girl haunting her mother's side.

"Stay right here," Jay instructs. He pokes his head out of the door and bellows for his wife. From the other end of the barn she calls back that she'll be a minute and he turns back for just a second to wink at the kids. "No, now. It's important."

Abby appears with an apron tied around her waist, exactly as Kate always pictures her. She's wiping her hands off on it, her eyes on their careful work instead of on her husband. "What is it? I was trying to get some visitors set up with their activity sheets."

"Hon," Jay says, and Abby finally lifts her head.

When she sees Kate and her family, her eyes immediately fill. Her mouth opens and a soft sound of wonder escapes. She hauls Kate into a hug, squeezing tight and cradling the back of her head in her palm.

"Katie," she breathes. "You're back. It's so good to see you, sugar."

Abby hugs Castle next, somehow managing to coddle him even though he towers at least a foot over her. He's laughing into it, his arms free to hug Abby back now that he's set Jake down. "Hey. Sorry we left it so long. We've been busy."

"I see that," Abby says. She sinks into a crouch to put herself on the same level as the kids, and she introduces herself to each of them individually. They each give their name and pride unfurls in Kate's chest at their good manners.

"You two made some gorgeous babies, Katherine."

"We're pretty proud of them," she laughs, letting her palm rest at the back of Jake's head. The kids are relaxing by increments and beginning to break away from the forest of their parents' legs. "I've got a little man here who's very excited to see some lambs."

Jay claps his hands together and bends down until he's eye to eye with Jake. "We've got two that were just born this morning. Would you like to meet them, young man?"

"Yes please," Jake whispers. He reaches for Kate's hand and she takes it, tucks his little fingers safe against her palm.

They follow Jay and Abby towards one of the smaller barns. Rick is holding Cosmo's leash and he falls a little behind because the dog is overwhelmed with the unfamiliar smells and he keeps stopping to poke his nose into things. Lily hands back with her dad, but the boys stick close to Kate.

"They're not in with the lambs that the public can see just yet. We usually like to give them a few days to get settled before we move them to the big barn," Jay explains.

The twins are rapt, their faces awestruck as Jay talks to them. At the far end of the barn there are a few pens, and two of them have a sheep and her lamb inside. Kate lifts Jake so he can see over the top of the fence, and Jay picks up Reece as well. She's a little surprised that her son goes so easily into this stranger's arms, and it sends a flare of concern through her. She'll bring it up with Rick later, if only so she can hear his reassurances.

One of the lambs is suckling at his mother's swollen teat, his greedy mouth opening and closing again and again. In the other pen, the second newborn seems to be finding his feet and he totters around in the hay. Every so often, his mother noses him forwards. Jake makes these little gasping sounds every time one of the lambs moves. His body is vibrating with excitement in Kate's arms and she holds him tight, chats to him a little bit about the lambs.

When Castle finally joins them he lifts Lily so she can see. Abby takes Cosmo's leash and she crouches to fuss over the dog, baby-talking to him and stroking his head.

"Daddy, them are so tiny," Jake tells his father, leaning out of Kate's arms so that he can see Rick.

Castle shifts so that Lily is half sitting on the fence and he doesn't have to take her full weight. His arm is still tight around her and she fists a hand in his shirt for balance. It frees Castle up a little bit, and he twists to see Jake.

"I remember when you and Reece were so tiny I could hold you in one hand."

Kate steps closer so that she can rest her cheek to her husband's shoulder. It's wonderful to watch their family growing up, but she misses the tiny warm bodies curled against her chest. It's a fierce thing that rears to life in her, and for half a second she wonders if they could have another.

No. They're done. Their family is perfect exactly like this, and her body wouldn't survive another pregnancy. If they even managed to get that far. And soon enough there'll be Alexis' baby to fuss over and hold close.

After a little while longer with the lambs, Abby leaves them to go back to welcoming visitors to the farm. She promises to come and find them later, and she kisses Kate's cheek before she goes. Jay takes them to the little petting zoo that he's set up for visitors to the farm to meet some of the livestock up close.

It's busy, kids of all ages clamouring to get a turn with the animals. Kate keeps a sharp eye out to make sure her kids aren't the ones doing the shoving, that they're keeping their pointy elbows to themselves. They're waiting patiently for a turn, Lily with a hand on each of her brothers' shoulders so that the three of them don't get separated.

While they keep watch, she and Castle chat to Jay about what the past decade has held for him and for the farm. They share their own stories too, or at least the easy to digest versions. Rick is very good at keeping it light, skirting neatly around the bloodshed to focus on the adventure and the victory.

When their children finally get to the front of the pen their delighted giggles ring out. Castle has the camera with him and he snaps pictures of them stroking the animals, capturing the joy on their faces. Reece takes a shine to one of the ducks and holds his hand out. The merry little bird butts his head against Reece's palm and he bubbles with laughter, turning over his shoulder to make sure Kate and Rick are watching.

Lily is wearing a skirt today, one of her favourite ones that falls to her knees in a thick grey wool. One of the goats pokes his head through a gap in the fence and takes the bottom of the skirt in his mouth. He chews slowly and Lily screams, calling for her mother to rescue her. Kate manages to squeeze her way in at Lily's side and once Jay has coaxed the skirt out of the goat's mouth, she accepts her daughter's distraught body into her arms.

"It's okay, baby girl," she does her best to soothe her daughter. Kate inspects the damage, finds the skirt a little tattered looking but no real harm done. "Tell you what, when we get back to the city we'll ask Gram to look at it for you, okay? She's great at making costumes isn't she."

It takes Lily a minute or two to calm down, the shock of the encounter rattling through her still. Kate is crouched with Lily between her knees, her face hidden against Kate's neck. Rick hovers next to them, his fingers brushing against the back of Lily's head.

The boys are mute and wide-eyed, clinging to their father's legs. At least one of them cries almost every day for one reason or another, but they very rarely see tears from their big sister. Castle herds them out of the way so some of the other visitors can take a turn with the animals.

Their sweet, wonderful boys wrap Lily in a hug and squeeze her until she giggles and lifts her arms to hug them back. She seems okay now and Kate straightens from her crouch, feels a little flare of protest come to life in her knees.

Jay told them that there are newly hatched chicks at the other end of the barn that they can hold if they want to, and Reece clamours to go and see them. The incubator that's housing the babies is tucked away, so it's quieter in this part of the barn. It means they can take their time.

Castle is the first to hold one of the babies. He cups his palms firmly around the fluffy little body and stoops to let the kids see. Lily strokes the chick's soft head with the tip of her finger. Kate has Cosmo now and the dog strains to sniff the chick. She doesn't think he would attack it, but she doesn't want the poor thing to be startled by Cosmo's long nose, so she keeps his leash short.

The kids get their own chicks to hold next. The teenager in charge instructs them to hold nice and firmly so the chicks feel secure, and the kids follow his instructions so exactly that Kate can't help her laughter.

"Mommy!" Reece turns back to see her. He's grinning so wide, and Castle snaps a picture of their son with the chick. "I'm holding a baby chicken."

"I see you, peanut. Good job holding him."

Rick takes a few more pictures, with Lily and Jake as well, and then they give the chicks back to the farmhand to take care of. There's a hand washing station at the door of the barn and Castle helps the kids to reach the basin, lifting them one at a time and making sure their hands are properly clean.

"Where to next, Mrs Castle?" he asks once they're done.

The farm has changed so much since she used to visit as a child and Kate chews on her lip while she considers it. "There's that hay bale maze. Remember, we raced?"

"I remember." He pulls a face and the kids laugh without even really knowing what they're laughing at. "Mommy beat me. She's just too fast for your old dad."

It takes them a little while to find the maze. They walk past the store that Jay and Abby stock with the produce from the farm, and Castle nudges her with his elbow. She assures him that they won't forget, that he can fill a whole basket with organic produce if he wants to. When they eventually find the maze, the kids hop around their knees and cling to one another's hands.

A different kid is in charge here, a cute little pixie of a girl who reminds Kate so sharply of Lily it's like a fist to the solar plexus. Her eyes fly to her husband, find him already wide-eyed and nodding at her. The girl ties a balloon around each of the kid's wrists. The hay bales are higher than Kate's waist, which puts them maybe an inch taller than Lily.

"Helps us not to lose them in there," the girl explains once she's tied the last balloon.

The kids disappear inside the maze, their three balloons bumping together a couple of feet above the hay bales. Kate and Rick head for the exit to wait, finding a picnic bench and claiming it as theirs. It's warming up now. They have a portable water bowl for Cosmo and Kate finds it in the backpack Rick's carrying, pours some bottled water into it for the dog.

"He's so spoilt," Castle laughs. He took off the backpack so Kate could see inside of it and it frees him up. He leans against the table behind them and wraps an arm around her shoulders. "I had a really good time when we visited here before, but this. . .it's so much better with the kids."

She agrees, and she turns her face towards his to steal a kiss. There are a few other people nearby, waiting for their own children to emerge, so Kate keeps it light and soft. When she separates from him she keeps her eyes closed a moment longer and she lets a smile unfurl at her mouth.

"I love you, Rick."

"Love you, too." He presses one last, fast kiss to her mouth and then he straightens again to keep an eye on the exit. The balloons are different colours for each group and their kids got red, so they can track their progress through the maze pretty accurately.

A few times they go down a blind alley and have to double back, but they make steady progress. Castle is so enthusiastic, leaning forward on the bench to watch the balloons make their methodical way towards the exit. When the kids finally emerge he cheers and gets to his feet, rushes to gather the three of them in a hug.

Kate holds back for just a second, wanting to give Castle a moment with them before she joins in. The four of them come to find her at the bench and the kids tell her all about the maze. Apparently there were laminated photographs stuck to the walls inside as part of an activity sheet they didn't pick up, and Reece is grumbling about it.

Rick scoops him up and sits down next to Kate on the bench, both arms tight around their son so he can't escape. He kisses the warmth of Reece's neck and he squirms, pleading with Rick to stop between his giggling breaths.

"We'll come back another time and get you guys the activity sheet so you can do it properly," Kate promises them. "Sorry guys. Mommy got distracted."

"It's okay Mom." Lily rests a hand at Kate's knee. "You were excited to see your friends."

Now that there's a lull, the kids start complaining of hunger. There's a cafe and they herd everyone towards it. There are a few tables outside and they secure one, tying Cosmo's leash to the leg. He sniffs around for a moment and then he curls up in the shade and closes his eyes.

Kate stays at the table with Reece while Castle takes the other two inside to choose something to eat, and then they switch. They have boxes for kids that come with a sandwich and a juice box and some fruit, so Kate orders one of those for Reece and a toasted sandwich for herself.

Back outside, Castle is on one side of the picnic bench and Jake and Lily are on the other. Kate makes to sit next to them and they shove on her butt, shaking their heads.

"No Mom," Lily tells her. "You sit beside Daddy and Reece sit here. Kids' side and Mom and Dad side."

She does as she's told and Castle chuckles into her ear, wraps his hot hand around her thigh beneath the table. The food comes out pretty quickly and they tuck in. Lily steals pieces of Kate's salad from her plate, but she's not about to tell her daughter to _not_ eat lettuce.

Jake demands a bite of Castle's sandwich and then decides that he likes that one better. He pitches such a fit about it that Rick gives in and trades, winding up with a plain cheese sandwich from the kid's box. The sandwich is cut small for little hands and it's comical in Rick's giant ones, makes him look like a hulking cartoon of a man.

After everyone's finished eating and they've bussed their table they head for the store. The kids are getting cranky now, nap time fast approaching. Kate elects to wait outside with them and Cosmo, but Reece yells that he wants to go with Daddy.

Castle takes their son's hand and disappears inside the little store with him. The other two sit on the grass outside and fuss over the dog. Abby walks by a little way away and Kate calls out to catch her attention.

"Hey guys," she greets the kids when she reaches them. "Did you enjoy the farm?"

Their responses are mumbled and Kate huffs a breath, shaking her head. "Sorry. They're wiped out after so much fun. We're gonna head back to the cabin and get them down for their naps. Rick's just picking up some stuff."

Abby pokes her head inside the store and calls to the girl manning the register. "Alice, see Mr Castle there? Don't let him pay. It's on us."

Castle's immediate, indignant protests erupt from inside and Abby laughs, covering her hands with her ears and straightening up again. Kate is laughing too and she props one foot flat against the wall, her knee bent. "No one in this whole town is gonna let us pay for anything, are they."

"Katie-girl," Abby tsks. "There's not a soul around these parts that your dad hasn't helped in one way or another. We owe it to Jim to take care of his Katie and her little ones. And Johanna too. She was always the first to lend a hand."

"Yeah," Kate says. It comes out a little more wistfully than she really meant it to. She misses her mother, but memories like this are the ones worth dwelling on. As a little girl, she was so proud to be a Beckett, proud to be Jim and Johanna's daughter, and she hopes her own kids feel that way about her and Rick.

Castle emerges with one hand holding Reece's and the other carrying a bulging grocery bag. He's still grumbling, and he gets his mouth against Kate's ear. "I'm going to make a very sizeable and very anonymous donation."

"Sure babe," she laughs at him.

They're instructed to stay right where they are and Abby disappears for a minute, comes back with Jay in tow so that he can say goodbye as well. Tiredness is making the kids shy and they crowd around Castle's legs, hiding their faces against his thighs.

Kate hugs Jay and then Abby, burying her face against the older woman's neck for a moment. Something about Abby makes her feel like a little girl, seeking maternal comfort in a way she never really does from Martha. Castle gets his own hug from the two of them and they say their goodbyes, promise to be back soon.

"I've stopped believing those promises from you two," Abby laughs, but there's an acerbic edge to it. Forgetting your roots doesn't go over well around here, and Kate feels twin pink blooms of shame high up in her cheeks.

She sends Castle on ahead, feeling bad that he has to juggle three kids, the dog and the groceries, but she needs to do this. Abby's hands betray her age, the skin papery and fine when Kate takes them in hers.

"I know we haven't given you a reason to believe us so far, but our lives are a lot more stable now. Those kids are. . .they're our whole world. And I really want them to have the same wonderful memories of growing up here as I do. So I guess I won't promise to see you soon, but I will promise to try."

"We just missed you, doll," Jay says, and he squeezes Kate's shoulder. His voice is gruff but his face is kind, if weathered by so many years of caring for the farm. Abby squeezes Kate's hands and assures her that it doesn't matter how long, it's just wonderful to see them.

It's making her teary, which is just ridiculous, so she says goodbye again and goes to join her family. Castle has gotten everyone except himself loaded into the car, and he intercepts her on her way to the driver's side.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," she assures him. His arms come around her anyway and she lets herself get tucked beneath his chin, slides her own around his waist. "I wasn't expecting them to have aged so much."

Rick pulls back enough to see her face and he tugs on the end of her braid to make her smile. "How about we do our spring breaks here and our summers at the Hamptons? A new family tradition."

"I thought you wanted them to be well-travelled?"

"We'll go abroad in winter breaks," he says immediately.

It makes her laugh, and her husband bows his head to touch his happy mouth to hers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

All three kids fall asleep in the car on the way back. It travels across the back seat like a ripple effect, Jake first, then Lily and then finally Reece gives in and rests his head against the side of his car seat. They made sure to apply sunscreen regularly throughout the day, but the three of them are pink with adventure and sleepiness.

Kate's shoulder is bothering her. She keeps adjusting her right hand at the steering wheel as if she can't get comfortable. There are pain meds in the glove compartment and Castle offers them to her but she declines, tells him she just needs to rest it for a bit. He doesn't push her on it. After so many years, he has learned to trust Kate to make the right call.

When they arrive back at the cabin she makes as if to lift Jake out of the car. Castle stops her with a hand at her good shoulder. He's expecting that pinch of irritation to her face that arises whenever she can't do something. Instead, she lets her body come to rest against the wall of his chest and she hums, her lips at his sternum.

"Rick," she says softly. It doesn't exactly sound like there's more coming, but he strokes a hand down the neat length of her braid and waits. Eventually, she heaves a sigh and her lips form a kiss against his shirt. "I don't know how you did this all on your own. I know one is easier than three, but still. You're such an amazing father."

Awe and gratitude pour into him and he tightens the arm around his wife's shoulders, kisses the sun-soaked crown of her dark head.

"It was difficult," he admits. "You know I wouldn't trade Alexis for anything, but having a partner in this makes it so much better."

She kisses him, slow and exploratory, and her fingertips draw aimless patterns across his scalp. It's arousing, erotic, and he breathes slowly through his nose as she works at him. Rick nudges her back against the side of the SUV and she lifts her chin in defiance, her tongue stroking into his mouth.

"Beckett," he pants when they separate. "Can you open the door and deal with Cosmo. I'll carry them in."

Her fingers are light and quick at the bottom of his shirt, slipping underneath in search of bare skin. He groans and drops his head to her clavicle. It feels like she's laughing at him, but her hands are kind at the curves of his ears and sliding across to his nape. She kisses him again, once more, and then she steps away and opens the trunk so the dog can hop out.

While she gets the front door unlocked, Castle eases Jake out of the car seat. His body is warm and heavy with unconsciousness and Rick gets both arms around him, cradling his son's head in his palm as he makes his slow way inside. He sets Jake down in the bed and leaves Kate to tuck him in while he goes back for Reece.

"Daddy?" His son stirs when he lifts him out of the car. Castle kisses the crown of his head where he's a little damp with sleep-sweat.

"It's okay, peanut. Go back to sleep. I've got you."

Kate directs him to set Reece down in the bottom bunk with Jake. At night, they try to keep the boys in their own beds, but for nap time the two of them love to curl up together and it's so adorable that neither Rick nor his wife has the heart to stop them.

He half expects Lily to wake up when he gets to her, but she's just as limp with exhaustion as her brothers. There's no way Rick can lift her over the bars and into the top bunk and for a moment he flounders, helpless in the hallway with his daughter in his arms.

"Put her in our bed," Kate says. She leaves the door of the kids' room ajar just a little bit, enough that they'll be able to hear if one of the boys wakes up needing them.

His wife goes ahead of him to get the door and she peels back the sheets. Rick sets Lily down in the middle of the bed and tucks her in, stoops to kiss her forehead. Kate shares a moment with their daughter that he tries not to watch too closely, uncomfortable to be intruding. She comes back to him in the doorway and slides her hand into his, leads him out into the living room.

She was quiet during the drive home, and not just because she didn't want to wake the kids. It has a flare of concern spreading white hot through his middle. She's leading them to the couch and he goes easily, settles beside her. Rick rests Kate's hand at his thigh and he spreads her fingers out, strokes over them one at a time.

"I can't believe we left it almost a decade," she says after a while. She draws one knee up onto the couch and twists to face him, her other foot bare and on the floor. Her toes are painted with a vibrant purple that Lily did for her last week and it sends a wash of adoration through him.

"Oh Kate, honey," he turns her hand over on his thigh so that he can thread their fingers together. "We were in recovery. And then you were pregnant and then we were figuring out how to be parents and then you were pregnant _again_."

She laughs and rests her free hand at her stomach as if it's settled against the phantom curve. "And then we were figuring out how to be parents to two babies."

"Exactly," he grins, pleased with her.

It's rare these days that she needs to be persuaded out of melancholia. Kate has always been quick to laugh in the time that they've been together, but she feels things so deeply that sometimes she slides down into sadness faster than he can hold on to her. Since they had kids though, she makes a conscious effort to ask for his help in climbing back out.

"I never lived here, but I spent so much time here when I was growing up. And then that summer I was shot the first time, I felt so vulnerable. I felt nineteen again, and the people here rallied around me."

Rick lets go of Kate's hand, gets a grumpy tilt of her mouth for a second before he wraps his arm around her shoulders instead and draws her in against his chest. He's really trying not to baby her, but she looks so forlorn and her hair in that braid makes it so easy to imagine her as a wounded teenager.

"Is it the storm, sweetie? I know they get to you."

"I like them," she says immediately, automatically. "It's just. . .a lot. Yeah."

"Yeah."

They sit in silence for a while. Kate curls up smaller against him and closes her eyes, her lips resting at the hollow of his throat. He's not worried. She just needs a little bit of time to rest and to work past her guilt. The pain in her shoulder is probably making her cranky and sad, too. She's babying her right arm, has it tucked in close to her chest while her left hand plays with the neckline of his t-shirt.

"Honey? Maybe you should do some of your PT exercises."

"It's not that bad." She sits up straighter and rotates her shoulder, testing its limits. "The PT always makes it hurt more."

He frowns. "I know it does initially, but it helps in the long run. You can't let it start getting stiff again, Beckett."

"I'm fine," she snaps at him, and she stands up from the couch.

She's only heading to the kitchen, so he gives her the space to regroup. Her raised voice has snagged Cosmo's attention and the dog jumps up onto the couch, makes himself comfortable in Castle's lap. He's grateful for the distraction and he strokes Cosmo's narrow head. He feels Kate's irritation as a living entity in the room, a jeering thing spitting and pointing fingers at him.

When she comes back, she's got two mugs and she passes one to him. He's content with the silent apology, but Kate sits back down beside him. Two fingers at his chin to keep him in place, she leans in and kisses him slowly.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm just grumpy. It's not at you."

"I know. I just don't want you to be hurting."

Her face transforms with tenderness. She's got her own mug in one hand still, but she lays her other over his heart in earnestness. "I'm okay, really. I promise I'll tell you if I'm not."

When they were recovering, they spent the summer at the Hamptons. He did suggest the cabin, but Kate's face had paled at the thought of another summer spent suffering here. It was cramped even at his beach house; here they would have murdered each other.

He let Kate take the master suite, and he stayed in the guest room because neither of them could bear to be sharing a bed during the first few weeks. Castle was on bed rest anyway, and he had a nurse to help him shower the first few weeks. When he was finally allowed to move around again, it had been ten days since he had even seen his wife.

It was agony every night climbing those stairs, agony every morning shuffling his livid body back down. He would have just stayed upstairs altogether if not for the siren song of Kate's own misery in company to his. They read a lot, and walked on the beach once they began to get their strength back.

Before they were shot, he thought he knew the truth of Kate Beckett. She was his wife, his best friend. He thought holding her sobbing, shivering body against his on the floor of the bathroom the night she arrested Bracken was as raw as it was going to get.

He was so angry. Aggression spurred him, made him determined to lift his head and look the carnage of their lives square in the face. Kate had been quieter, but no less resolute. Side by side, they did their physical therapy and they rested. His scar tissue warped around hers, the two of them healing entwined so that he felt her hurts just as keenly as his own. He still does, and he knows she does too.

She's made tea for them both and they drink in easy silence. Until they had twin boys, he had never imagined that the absence of noise would be something he would hope for. Rick loves the chaos of their life, loves those boys so fiercely, but it's nice to be calm just for a little while.

He turns on the data on his phone for a minute to make sure there's nothing urgent that needs his attention. Everybody who's important knows that he and Kate are off grid this week, but he's still Alexis' father too. He has a couple of iMessages from her asking if they're enjoying their trip and he types out a quick reply.

"Hey." Kate has shifted to lean against the arm of the couch and he pokes his toes into her thigh to snag her attention. "Family dinner with Alexis and the grandparents next week? The kids can tell them all about our trip."

Kate wraps her hand around his foot and tucks her thumb inside the top of his sock. "You don't have to ask my permission."

"I'm more asking if you'll have time."

"I'll make time," she says firmly. He grins and messages his daughter to invite her, shoots a quick text to Jim and Martha as well. He turns his data back off without checking his emails or his Twitter notifications, and he doesn't feel so much as a blip of guilt.

After almost an hour and a half, they have to wake the kids. It's not smart to let them sleep any longer, or they'll never get them to bed tonight. Kate takes the twins and he wishes her luck before she ducks inside their room, only half joking. In the early days of their relationship, waking up together was still a novelty. It was only once it became familiar that Kate started to make fun of him and the struggle he has to wake up. Their boys are both just the same, and Lily too.

In the big bed, his daughter is starfished on her stomach with her head on Kate's pillow. Rick lays down beside her and strokes her hair back out of her face, murmurs her name.

When her eyes open to see him she smiles and rolls over until her head is resting on his chest. He cradles the curve of her skull, marvelling still at how neatly it fits against his palm. His little girl. When she was a newborn, he spent a lot of time shirtless and holding her against his chest. He would tell her stories and sing to her, carry her around their home and tell her the names of things her eyes weren't even developed enough to see yet.

Kate took six months of maternity leave, because it wasn't like they couldn't afford it and she didn't want to leave their baby. When she did eventually go back to work it was just him and Lily in the daytime. He would write, his laptop on his knees and the baby sleeping on his chest. He loved taking her to the park and showing her off, loved even more when Kate joined them on her lunch break and he got to watch her cooing at their daughter.

"Did you have a nice nap, Lilypad?" he says quietly. She takes a while to figure out what's going on, just like he does. He'll give her all the time that she needs, soft with adoration as he is.

After a few minutes, Lily scrubs a hand against her eyes and sits up. She pats his chest and he takes the hint, struggles upright as well. She tucks her hair back behind her ears and blinks slowly. "Good nap. Where's Mommy?"

"She's waking your brothers up. Wanna go find them?"

Lily climbs down from the bed and heads for her own room, Rick following close behind. She stops in the living room to kiss the dog and fuss over him a bit, but Kate's soft voice from the bedroom lures their daughter in.

Beckett is in the twin bed, propped up against the headboard with both boys curled in close against her. They don't exactly look awake, and when Kate catches sight of him in the doorway she rolls her eyes. "Come help me wake up your sons."

He sits at Kate's feet and slides his hands underneath Reece, draws him down the bed and into his arms. His little face is all scrunched up, but he's definitely pretending to be sleepier than he really is.

"Who wants a snack?" Rick asks, and both boys' eyes fly open.

They're a flurry of activity then as the boys climb out of bed and run for the kitchen to wait. Lily takes the opportunity to get in with Kate and she kisses her mother's cheek, strokes her hand along Kate's messy braid.

"Hi, my girl," Kate murmurs.

The two of them are nose to nose and giggling together, so Castle leaves them to it and goes to find the boys. They clamour for his attention and he swings them up to sit in the bar stools at the island. "What do you guys feel like?"

They ask for yogurt, which he really should have guessed. While they eat, they chat about what their favourite parts of the farm were this morning. Jake is still awed by the newborn lambs and he describes them to Rick as if his father didn't also get to see them.

It's adorable, and Castle listens to his son's determined words. When the twins first started talking, Reece was a lot chattier than his brother. He would talk for both of them, telling his parents _Jake and me want cartoons_. It took Jake a little bit of time to speak up, and his language is still not quite as advanced as Reece's because of it. He's getting better all the time though, and Castle isn't worried. They start kindergarten in August, and he's excited to watch his boys blossom with new knowledge.

Rick props his forearms at the counter and leans against it to watch the boys eat. They're rascals, especially when they're together, but being at the cabin seems to have mellowed them. The fresh air and all the running around have made them too tired to cause mischief, and Rick is so glad. He won't tolerate unkindness or naughtiness from any of his children, but he hates having to discipline them.

Capturing his father's face in his hands, Jake leans in close until they're nose to nose. "Daddy. We do what this afternoon?"

"I don't know, my man. What would you like to do?"

"Swim!" Reece interjects, and Rick groans. He deflates until his torso is flat to the countertop and the boys cackle with laughter and tug on his hair to get him to straighten up again. "Not swim?"

"Not swim," he confirms. "Mommy and I are too tired today, peanut. And the lake is all gross anyway. Why don't we take a walk down and we can see what happened to it in the storm?"

Jake has already finished his yogurt and he passes the empty pot to Rick to throw out, keeps hold of the spoon so he can gesticulate with it. He sucks a deep breath and his chest puffs up as he braces himself to yell.

"Mommy!"

A moment later, Kate appears from the bedroom. She's giving Lily a piggyback and their daughter beams with joy, her chin propped on Kate's shoulder. When they make it to the kitchen Lily slides down and Kate moves to stand between the bar stools and wrap an arm around each of the boys.

"What's up?"

"We can go and see the gross lake?"

"Why not," she laughs. Rick takes the dirty spoons from the boys and dumps them in the sink to deal with later. Kate has lifted them both down from the island and sent them with Lily to find shoes and sweaters, get ready to go outside.

It gives them a moment alone and she steps in close, winding her arms around his neck. Her mouth meets his and it's so slow and good, the hot touch of her tongue at the seam of his lips.

A few months ago he did an interview with a magazine and he got completely sidetracked, spent most of the time talking about Beckett and the kids. They ran the interview with a tagline describing him as the rarest of things in the world of the rich and famous, a man deeply in love with his wife. He beams again to think of it, proud to wear his happiness for the world to see.

"You're smiling," Kate says when she breaks away from him. She traces the bow of his lips with her fingertip, her head tilted to one side as if she's fascinated by him.

"Just love you."

"Oh," she smiles back, lifting on tiptoe to kiss him again. "I just love you, too."

They're interrupted by the kids and they get their own shoes on. Rick puts Cosmo in his harness and hooks up the leash, hands it over to Lily when she asks. It was warm at the farm, but the shelter of the mountains and the cool water of the lake mean it's almost chilly here.

Down at the dock, the kids peer into the murky depths of the water below. Kate's got a hand hooked in the back of each of the boys' hooded sweatshirts because they look precarious.

"See guys," Rick tells them. "It doesn't look very nice to swim in today."

"They wanted to swim?" Kate mutters, turning her head to see him. Lily is sitting at the end of the dock now and swinging her feet. She's got her rain boots on, so it doesn't matter if they go in the water.

The boys struggle free from Kate's grip and sit on either side of their sister, chatting to her about the fish in the lake and the mutant powers they might have gotten from being zapped by lightning. Now that she's free, Rick takes Kate's hand. Her fingers are cold and he tucks them into the pocket of his sweater.

"They did. I told them the water is too gross. I tried to skip over the fact that we're both wiped out."

"Good," she chuckles. Her head comes to rest against his shoulder.

It's nice, but he wants to do better. The end of the dock is plenty wide enough and he sits at the end of it, draws Kate down to sit with him too. They have to keep their legs crossed, because they're only wearing sneakers and their longer legs would definitely touch the surface of the water. Like this, he can tuck her in close. He plants his palm flat against the wood behind her and she leans back against his arm.

They're close enough now to hear the kids' conversation and for a while they just listen. The three of them are so inventive with their storytelling, and Kate likes to say that that creativity is all him, but he refuses to accept it. Their love for stories maybe, their thrill in the narrative, but their meticulous attention to detail is all Beckett.

"Daddy, you know later?" Lily asks.

"I do know later, yes."

His daughter huffs at him and rolls her eyes, which makes Kate choke with laughter beside him. He's between her and the kids, so she opens her wicked mouth against his neck and her tongue darts out to touch. It takes a concentrated effort to listen to Lily.

"Can we make a campfire?"

It snags Kate's attention and she peers around him to see the kids. "What a good idea, Lilypad. What do you think boys? Wanna make a fire?"

She gets cheers of agreement from the twins and she laughs. It makes Castle so happy to see her with the kids that sometimes he forgets to join in, wants to linger on the sidelines watching his wife. When they worked that case with the kidnapped girl in the first few months he knew her, Castle saw that Kate Beckett would one day make an incredible mother. Back then it didn't even occur to him to hope that she might be the mother of _his_ children. And now here they are.

The kids want to stay near the lake for a while longer. There are some stones on the shore and they head down to collect them and try to skim them across the surface. The twins are adorably determined, plodding along the sand in their rubber boots while they look for the exact right pebble. They can keep an eye out just fine from the dock, so Rick and Kate stay where they are to watch.

"I was looking through some of the photos on the camera earlier," Kate says. She's taken her hair out of its braid now, and the breeze that ripples across the surface of the lake is capturing strands and whipping them into a halo around her head. "There are loads with them, and quite a few with me in as well, but hardly any with you."

Rick keeps her in place with two fingers at her chin and he kisses her mouth, tastes the chill of the lake air on her. The tip of her nose is cold against his cheek and he lingers, hopes some of his warmth will soak in to her.

"You're so beautiful, Kate. I love looking at photographs of you and our family."

She's blushing, and she knocks her temple against his jaw. "Thanks babe. But you know, you're pretty beautiful, too. I don't want you to look back in ten years and not get to see yourself in the pictures."

"What do you wanna do, a photoshoot with me and them?"

"Actually," she chews on her bottom lip and considers a moment. "I kind of do. That could be fun. And cute."

"You're cute," he says back. He earns himself an eye roll, but when he kisses her she melts against him and hums a lovely noise of contentment into his mouth.

They give the kids just a few minutes longer and then they round them up and herd them back to the house. The dog jumps immediately up onto the couch and closes his eyes, transmitting very clearly that he's finished for the day.

"Daddy, can you help me?" Reece tugs on his hand. Rick unfastens his other sneaker and takes it off, leaves it dumped with its twin by the back door.

He follows his son to the kids' bedroom. Reece climbs up onto the twin bed and pats the mattress, wanting Rick to sit with him. He does as he's told, scooting back until he can lean against the wall. He has to stuff the pillow in behind himself, and he waits patiently while Reece gathers a couple of things.

"Me and Jake are doing a race. We have to make cars," Reece tells him. His little face is so serious and he's got one hand splayed at Rick's thigh. "Mommy is on Jakey's team."

"Am I your pit crew?"

"What's pit crew?"

"You know when you see the car races on the TV sometimes? The really fast ones. Well, those drivers have people called the pit crew, and their job is to look after the car and the driver. Sometimes they change the wheels and stuff like that."

Reece is listening intently, a frown of concentration puckering the skin of his forehead. "Like pit stop?"

"Exactly like that," Castle says. He gets a grin from Reece and his son wiggles with excitement. He's spread out various Lego pieces across the sheets and he explains them all to Rick, setting aside a few that he wants to use for his car.

Castle never got to do this. Not as a kid, a fatherless boy who retreated into his world of make-believe and never got to toss a ball with his dad at the park. And Alexis, his amazing daughter, was always so girly. He let her put barrettes in his hair and paint him with eyeshadow, but they never did this.

He owes this, these two sons he never dared hope for, to Kate Beckett. Her earlier melancholy is rubbing off on him a little bit, but he scrapes a hand over his face and refocuses his attention on Reece. There'll be plenty of time after the kids are asleep to stretch Kate out beneath him and show her the depth of his gratitude.

It takes quite a while for Reece to be satisfied with his car. They test various designs, changing the weight of the car a few times before they're both happy with it. Apparently Lily has been setting up a race track while Kate and Jake build their own car, and once Castle and Reece are finished they head for the living room to find everyone else.

"Did you know they were planning this?" Kate asks, hooking her arm through his while the twins make a show of not letting the other see their car before the race.

"No clue. It's pretty great though, huh?"

Her smile blooms at the corner of his vision and he turns to see the full happy curve. Pride makes her soft and one hand rests against her chest, the heel of her palm over her heart and her fingertips at her clavicle.

"They're amazing." Her face remains almost dopey with love for their kids for a second longer, and then it transforms and she narrows her eyes at him. "And Jake and I are gonna crush you."

The course Lily has made starts in the dining room and snakes around the couch before travelling outside. She's made a ramp down the porch steps with one of the cushions from the lounger, and there's a finishing line made from a bunch of straws all connected together.

"Great job with the racetrack, Lilypad," Castle tells her.

It makes the tips of her ears turn pink with pleasure and she wraps her arms around his waist for a fast hug. "Mom helped me a little bit."

Rick gasps and presses a dramatic hand to his chest. " _What_? Reece, did you hear that? Jake and Mommy have an unfair advantage. They already know the track."

"Not true." Kate prods her index finger into his chest. "She did almost all of it herself. We don't know anything more than you."

He grumbles, but he lets it slide. His competitive nature is roaring to life deep in his belly. Kate hooks two fingers in the pocket of his jeans and draws him aside for just a moment.

"Babe, this is the kids' thing. It's not about you. It's not Scrabble."

"I know," he laughs, but he did need the reminder. He kisses her cheek because she's close and he loves her, and then they head for the starting line.

They each give a pep talk to their teammate and the boys hunker down at the start of the racetrack, itching to begin. Cosmo has sat up and propped his head on the back of the couch to watch the race, and Lily has Kate's phone to use as a stop watch.

Anticipation works its way through Castle's system and he shifts from foot to foot. He's so on edge, but he still startles when Lily calls go. Reece has a better reaction time than his dad and he's off, Jake hot on his heels. The two of them hurry round the track, on their knees to push their cars along the route.

Lily is in charge of judging, which means Rick and Kate are free to be noisy in their support of their team. He cheers for Reece, but Kate's doing that piercing police whistle for Jake. It's driving the dog nuts and he jumps down from the couch and hops from foot to foot.

They follow the race outside, the boys red-faced and huffing now. It looks as if Reece is going to win it, but at the very last second Jake gets a new burst of speed and he's the first to cross the finish line. Everybody holds their breath, bracing for a meltdown, but Reece flings his arms around his brother and cheers for him too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

Castle hoists Jake up onto his shoulders to carry him on a victory lap around the garden. He's half jogging and Jake shrieks with delight and holds his winning car aloft, his other hand pumping the air in a fist. Kate snaps a few pictures on the camera, so glad to have an organic moment of Rick and the kids captured forever.

Once Rick tires he sets Jake down and the twins sit on the bottom step of the porch to compare notes. Their heads are bent together, little hands methodical as they inspect each other's car. Lily is chasing the dog around the grass, so when Rick comes back to Kate's side she hooks her arm through his.

"They're gonna sleep well tonight," she says. "We might even get a whole night with no kids in the bed."

"I hope so." His voice is dark and needy and he slides his hand down behind her to squeeze the meat of her ass.

She wants him just as fiercely. Kate opens her mouth at the inside of his arm and lets her hot breath wash over his skin. He kisses the crown of her head and then he untangles himself from around her. "Save it for when they're asleep, Beckett. Or I'm gonna die."

"Sorry," she laughs. Kate slides her hand into his, keeps the hold loose. His hands are always so warm, and she still gets a little thrill at the curve of his fingers around hers.

"Hey guys?" he calls out after a moment. "How about a rematch?"

"It's okay, Daddy. Jakey did win fair and squares," Reece tells Castle. He's so earnest that Kate breaks away from her husband to crouch next to her son and shower him with kisses. He squirms in her arms and breaks away only to run right into Castle's legs.

Rick ruffles his hair, pride making him look exactly like the twins for a moment. "That's really nice of you, peanut, but that's not what I meant. How about this time, Mommy and I drive?"

Their faces transform with joy and they call for Lily. She comes sprinting across the grass and bends double, hands on her thighs as she gets her breath back. When the boys tell her the plan she straightens again and plants her hands on her hips.

"Kay, but no fighting."

"We don't fight," Castle says, aghast, but even Kate chokes on her laughter at that.

Part of the way she loves him is that she's unafraid to hash things out, to charge into battle against her husband. She carries her faith that they'll survive it heavy in her grip like a shield, and their marriage is better for it.

"Daddy you _always_ fight," Lily sighs. "When you do games. Mom always beats you and then you're all grumpy like this."

Their daughter scrunches her face up and stomps in a circle. It's a pretty accurate impression of Rick's defeat sulks, and the twins flop down onto the grass and roll with hysterical laughter. He's getting grumpy already, so Kate kisses the corner of Castle's mouth and nudges at him until he cracks on a grin.

"Mom doesn't beat me every time."

"Lots of the times."

"Okay, Lilypad," Kate cuts in, shooting her daughter a warning look. It's funny, it really is, but she doesn't want it to cross the line into disrespect. And Rick is such a good man, a good father, that even while she laughs something fearsomely defensive comes to life in her chest at seeing him made the butt of the joke.

Lily busies herself fixing the course, because the boys got overexcited and knocked things over in a few places. While she does so, the twins take their parent aside to talk through race tactics. Kate tries to pull Jake into her lap but he's in professional mode and he sits next to her instead, his spine straight.

He does that adorable kid thing where he can't seem to get the words out and he stutters like a machine stuck in a loop. Eventually, he manages to spit out his advice. "Mommy, just be so fast."

"I'll do my best, sweet boy." Kate kisses the fervent scrunch of his face and he giggles, throwing his arms around her neck. From over his shoulder, she sees Rick feeding the birds with Reece.

At the starting line, Castle does his best to psych her out. She's a finely trained detective, the best in the city if you listen to Castle, so she shuts him out and focuses her entire body on listening for Lily's call to begin the race.

The moment she shouts to go, Kate is off. Castle takes a second longer to react, which is all the advantage she needs. It's more difficult for them than it was for the boys because even on their hands and knees, they're so much higher off the ground. Kate ignores the immediate flare of protest in her shoulder and she pushes the car around the track, blocking out her husband's comments at her side.

She wins. Rick makes a show, pretends as if he let it happen. When he straightens up though, she sees the lance of real pain through him, the way he tries to cover it with humour. Kate tells the kids to dismantle the track now, that that's enough excitement for one day. It gives her a private moment with Rick, and she guides him to sit on the porch steps.

"That probably wasn't smart," she says as she sits beside him. Her entire arm is alive with pain now and she holds it against her chest, flexing and curling her fingers to make sure she's not losing feeling in them. That hasn't happened for a really long time now, not since before the boys were born, but she's paranoid about it.

"Probably not."

Castle stretches his right leg out in front of himself. That old skiing injury still flares to life every now and then, and crawling was probably about the worst possible thing either of them could have done. When they were in the hospital, the doctors had warned them that they might never get back to a hundred percent. Kate had brushed it off, pigheaded and determined to heal just as well as she had the first time around. It makes her bristle with pride to admit it, but the doctor was right. Neither of them is as fit as they were ten years ago. Castle likes to tell her that the bullet wounds are irrelevant, that they're both just getting old together, but she's determined not to give in to her ageing body.

"Worth it," she muses. Rick bends and straightens his leg a couple of times, and the fact that he's able to do so at all reassures her that he's fine. Satisfied, he wraps an arm around her and squeezes her hip.

"Always worth it to see them so happy. I'd chop my leg clean off."

It makes her choke on a laugh and she rests a possessive hand at his thigh. "Please don't. I love your legs."

"Isn't that my line?"

"I remember something about you respecting them."

"Oh," he says, and his voice is pitched suddenly low so that it travels through her guts, leaving her wrecked and shivering with arousal. "I do. You know how much I do."

The kids reappear and Kate shifts to put some space between herself and Castle. Lily squeezes her skinny body into the gap and rests her head at Rick's shoulder and her hand at Kate's knee. "Are we gonna do the campfire?"

"Let's have some dinner first. It should be starting to get dark by the time we're done eating, and then we can make the fire and have s'mores for dessert."

"Okay Mom." Lily hops up again and disappears inside, the boys thundering along behind her.

Snagging a hold of Rick's hand, Kate lifts it to her mouth and kisses his knuckle. She feels tender towards the whole world this evening. Everything feels exactly right, out here with the air growing cooler over her skin and the warmth of Rick at her side. The voices of their children ring out from the cabin and she closes her eyes, overwhelmed with bliss.

"I'll cook tonight," she tells him. "You snuggle up on the couch with them or something. Rest your knee."

"Rest your arm," he fires back.

She rotates her shoulder, but it's okay. Nothing she can't handle, and she'll take it easy for the remainder of the evening once she's finished cooking. Kate gets to her feet and Rick follows her inside, rounding up the kids as he goes.

They settle on the couch, whistling for the dog to join the cuddle pile. For a moment Kate stands in the kitchen alone and separate, a string tugging from inside her chest to lead her to them. Her children are getting hungry, her husband too, and she will sacrifice snuggle time to feed them.

She stir fries pork and vegetables, cooks some rice to go with it too. Her kids will eat any meat as long as they think it's chicken or beef, and it's become a game with Rick now to see how adventurous they can get them to be. Kate is currently winning. Last week, Lily wanted some of the takeout she brought home from work and their daughter happily ate calamari.

After dinner it's time for baths. Kate considers for a moment whether they should wait until after the campfire, but she remembers so clearly the thrill of being outside in your pajamas as a kid. Hopefully the fire will make them sleepy and they can just carry them right into bed.

They work together to get the three of them bathed, because they're both a bit stiff from so much excitement today. Castle runs the water while Kate gets the kids undressed. Lily doesn't want to share with the boys, so Kate lets her go and shower in the other bathroom.

The twins are giddy, as they always are for bath time. They splash each other and play with the bath toys that Castle, smart man, remembered to bring with them here. Kate kneels beside the tub and Castle sits on the closed lid of the toilet, right next to the bath so he can still lean in and help.

Jake and Reece are slippery as eels through Kate's hands as she tries to get them lathered up. They're grinning so wide, water in their hair and dripping down into their eyes. She uses the shampoo to style funky hairstyles for them, making spikes across their heads. Reece decides that they're dinosaurs and they roar and curl their hands like claws.

Once they're finally rinsed off and squeaky clean, Kate lifts Jake out and passes him over to Rick and the towel he's got ready. Castle tucks it tight around their son and cuddles him close, Jake sitting on one of his thighs. The other towel is folded and waiting on the countertop and Kate opens it out, holds it for Reece as he climbs carefully out of the tub.

He hunkers down inside it and Kate wraps her arms tight around him, kissing the soap tang of his neck. The boys are chattering excitedly about the fire, but it's mostly that twin language that goes right over Kate and Rick's heads. They get them dried off and into pajamas and Kate leaves them with their dad to get their teeth brushed while she goes to find Lily.

Her daughter is out of the shower and in her pajamas. She's cross-legged on the twin bed, a brush in her hand and a frown creasing her forehead.

"Hey, my sweet girl," Kate says, and she sits next to her daughter. "What's going on?"

"Mommy," Lily sighs. She puts the brush down and turns to look at Kate. "In recess before, everyone was doing all braids."

Lily looks so forlorn that Kate's heart twists hard in her chest. She opens her arms, and her daughter climbs right into her lap and curls up small, hiding her face. "And you couldn't join in because your hair is shorter?"

"Yeah. Raleigh said I should play with the boys 'cause I've got boy hair."

Something primal comes to life in Kate's guts. She will put her teeth to the jugular of anyone who threatens her cubs. Rocking Lily in her arms, Kate kisses the damp crown of her head and murmurs to her.

"You know what, Lilypad? It doesn't matter what Raleigh thinks. It doesn't matter what anybody thinks. Do _you_ like your hair like this?" Lily nods, her head butting against Kate's chin. "Well that's all that's important. The only person that gets to decide how you should look is you."

"Daddy showed me pictures of you long and long ago. You had short hair."

Kate huffs a breath, deeply suspicious of how Castle has any pictures from back then. She sure as hell never posed for him. It doesn't matter right now, and she'll get it out of him later with the slow work of her body over his.

"I did. And you know what? Daddy thought I was the prettiest girl in the room. It didn't matter if I had long princess hair or not. But it doesn't even matter what Daddy thinks."

"Daddy says that you're pretty because of your brain," Lily interjects. "Because you're kind and clever and good at jokes."

God, she adores her husband. He's so good at this, at loving so deeply and so completely. "That's true, sweet pea. It's much more important to be a good person and to be kind. And do you know who does that better than anyone?"

"Daddy?"

"That's right."

"Mommy," Lily whispers. "I'm better at braiding than Raleigh."

She laughs and squeezes her daughter tight, pride bursting in her chest.

"I bet you are. Your hair is shorter, which means you're always the one doing the braiding. But Raleigh has that long blonde hair so she just sits there and lets everyone do it for her, huh?"

That gets a giggle from Lily and she climbs back out of Kate's lap, already shaking off her insecurity. She heads for the living room and the noise of her brothers and Kate follows, takes a detour to hook her arm around Rick's neck and put her mouth to his ear.

"You showed pictures of how I looked when we first met to our kid?"

"You were adorable back then. And kinda scary. And definitely hot."

"Thanks?" she huffs. Kate bites his earlobe and he grunts, his hips jerking sharply towards her. "And you told her that it's my brain and my heart that make me attractive to you?"

Castle turns in her arms so that he can see her. He rests his hands at the curve of her waist and stares down at her so earnestly that her heart comes into her throat.

"Kate Beckett, I thought you were gorgeous the moment I saw you. But you just got more and more beautiful to me the more I got to know you and learn about the depths of your kindness and your bravery."

"I am so in love with you," Kate whispers. It makes him smile so wide and good and he dips his head, kisses her. It's soft and sweet, but in it she feels a prelude to later. They've been working each other up all day, and anticipation pools low down in her guts.

When they separate she narrows her eyes at him and prods the tip of her index finger into his chest. "And we will discuss later just how you obtained those pictures."

He gulps and she grins, steals a last kiss from his mouth while the kids aren't paying attention. It takes barely a minute before they start getting restless and they hop around the living room, calling for their parents' attention.

There's a fire pit in the garage that Kate always manages to forget about. Her dad never uses it just for himself, and it's been so long since Kate has been here. She goes to find it, has to call Rick to help her because it's heavier than she was anticipating.

Together, they manoeuvre it outside. It's nothing fancy, kind of reminding Beckett of a flying saucer actually, but the kids are delighted. They run circles around the thing while Kate and Rick track back and forth into the house. Kate gathers wood to burn, and Rick collects supplies to make s'mores.

Kate drags some of the deck furniture down onto the grass and arranges it, not too close to the fire. It's not lit yet, but she's hyperaware of her children's proximity to the metal fire pit. Once they've got everything set up, Castle makes the kids sit in a row on one of the loungers and he crouches in front of them.

"Listen very carefully, guys. Fire is really cool to look at, and it's fun to make s'mores and sing campfire songs, but it's also very dangerous. If you touch the metal, you will really really hurt yourselves. You need to do exactly what we say, or Mommy and Daddy will put out the fire and everyone will go inside. No silliness."

The kids are mute and they nod, their three little faces pale with alarm, but she's glad. Better to scare them into behaving now than have anybody get burned. Once Rick is satisfied that they're taking his warnings seriously, he invites them to come and watch the fire get lit.

He kneels on the grass about a yard from the pit, an arm around each of the boys to keep them captured. Lily stands behind him with a hand at his shoulder, and the four of them watch as Kate gets the fire lit. She gets a round of applause when she's done and she bows, comes back to join them in a hug.

They give the fire a while to get going properly, and while it does they gather some blankets. Rick pushes the two loungers together and makes a nest, inviting Kate to come and join him. When the two of them are settled the kids climb up as well and make themselves comfortable.

Jake curls up in Kate's arms. He's sleepy already, and his hair is damp and making her chin prickle. Kate murmurs soft nothings to her son, tells him fragments of the folk stories her mother used to share with her when they came up here.

Eventually, the fire is stable enough that they can start with s'mores. Rick decides that the adults will be in charge of toasting the marshmallows and the kids can organise the chocolate and crackers.

"Daddy," Lily fumes, her hands on her hips. "I'm lots and lots older. I can do it."

Kate wraps an arm around her grumpy daughter and draws her back against her chest, gets her lips to Lily's ear. She promises her that once the boys are sleeping Lily can toast a few marshmallows, and it appeases her. She settles in to help Jake and Reece with the crackers and the chocolate.

S'morelettes are a pretty popular dish in their house. Kate doesn't hate them, loath as she is to admit it, and the kids seem to have inherited Castle's wacky tastebuds. It's a regular Sunday brunch staple, and the joy on Rick's face when he gets to stand in front of the skillet and cook his creation for everyone makes Kate soft and goofy with love for him.

The kids have only had actual s'mores once or twice before, so they relish getting to have them now. They're sticky straight away and Kate regrets doing baths before the campfire, has to duck inside to find a package of wet wipes. Cosmo has been snoozing on the couch, but he follows her back out and hops up onto the end of the lounger.

Lily feeds the dog little pieces of cracker and Kate pretends not to notice, too full of contentment tonight to reprimand her daughter. By the time everyone has had their fill of s'mores it's getting close to dark. The light is beautiful and Kate arranges everyone to sit on the lounger, snaps a picture of Rick with the kids and Cosmo.

They disband after a moment, but she takes a few more photographs of her husband laughing with their children, cuddling Reece close to him, talking with Lily. He notices her absence and calls for her to sit back down, patting the cushion next to him.

She goes, and he wraps his arm tight around her and kisses her mouth, tasting of marshmallow and campfire. He's picked up a few camp songs from who knows where and he sets about teaching them to the kids. They know some too, from television shows it seems, and they delight in teaching the words and the tune to their parents.

Night falls dramatically down from the mountains. The sky is clear and rich as velvet. Jake and Lily are running on the grass in their bare feet, Castle chasing them, but Reece crawls up with Kate and they lie back to look at the stars. She still remembers some of the constellations and she points them out to him, tells him their names.

"Mommy?" he says. His voice is quiet and sleepy and his head rests heavily at her shoulder. "I love it here and I love you."

"Oh, I love you too, peanut. So much."

Rick takes a quick break from chasing the other two and he covers them with one of the blankets, tucking it in tight and leaning over to kiss Reece's forehead. He falls asleep in Kate's arms, his breath coming in a little snuffle against her neck every now and then.

Running around has tired out Jake and he clamours to be picked up. Rick scoops him up and sits on the other side of the lounger with him. "Wanna get them into bed?"

It takes some manoeuvring to get to her feet with Reece sacked out in her arms, but she manages. He barely stirs, but his hand fists in the neckline of her shirt.

"Lilypad, we're just going to put your brothers to bed," Kate says quietly. "Don't touch the fire, baby. Stay over by the chairs."

Lily hops up onto the lounger and Cosmo joins her, rolling onto his back so that she'll scratch his belly. Kate trusts her, far more than she would the twins. She heads inside with Rick right behind her and they get the boys tucked up in their beds. The soles of their feet are dirty and they smell like woodsmoke and dusk, but she can't bring herself to care.

Once they're settled she starts to head outside but Rick stops her, snagging her hand and drawing her in against him. He tucks her beneath his chin and she goes easily, her eyes closed.

"Katherine Beckett," he starts. It reminds her of their vows and she smiles, turns her head to let him feel it through his shirt. "I made a promise on our wedding day to love you my whole life. I keep thinking I can't possibly love you more, and then I get to see you with our kids and I just- what is it going to be like when we're a hundred?"

"You're getting there before me buddy," she teases, arching her neck to kiss the grumble off his lips before it even really begins. He smiles into the kiss and sways them on the spot, his fingertips resting so lightly at the nape of her neck.

"Our baby girl is waiting," he tells her when they break apart.

Lily hasn't moved an inch since they went inside. They sit either side of her and she smiles sleepily, pulling the blanket up over the three of them. Her weight rests against Castle, but she plays with Kate's fingers and traces her wedding and engagement rings around and around.

"Wanna toast some marshmallows?" Rick offers.

Their daughter thinks for a moment and then she scrunches her face up and shakes her head. "I'm full up. A different time?"

"Sure sweetie," he kisses Lily's temple. "Just wanna cuddle for a bit?"

"Yeah," a small voice comes.

Kate snuggles closer and wraps her arm around Lily. Rick then wraps his arm around Kate and hauls the two of them half into his lap. It takes a bit of wriggling to get comfortable but they manage it. It's been a long day, a busy day, and Lily is falling asleep in their arms.

While she dozes, Castle tells their daughter stories. He talks about the other times they came here, tells Lily about what it was like to sleep under the stars. His voice is soft, more vibration than words, and Kate closes her eyes and dozes a little bit herself. The night is chilly but his body is so warm beside her and the fire offers its warmth into the night as well.

"She's asleep," he whispers eventually. "I'll take her inside. You stay here."

Kate kisses their daughter goodnight, murmurs the depth of her love against Lily's ear. Castle gets out of the lounger and lifts her, then pauses. A frown creases his face and Kate props herself up on an elbow. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I can lift her over the bars."

"Just put her in our bed."

"But I wanted. . ." he trails off and casts his eyes to their sleeping child, just in case she isn't as asleep as she seems.

Kate sighs and gets up from the lounger as well, lays a palm flat at his shoulder blade to get him moving. "Let's see if we can do it together."

It's not as difficult as Kate thought, actually. Their height works to their advantage, and Castle carries most of his strength in his upper body so with Kate's help as well he manages just fine. They get Lily settled and tucked in, check on the boys as well.

"Busy day," Kate says once they're back out in the hallway. "Hopefully they'll sleep right through."

"I really hope so," Rick says. Need threads like a ribbon of quicksilver through his voice. Back outside, he crowds her on the lounger and rolls her beneath him, nudging his way between her thighs. She parts her legs for him and opens her mouth to the insistent touch of his tongue.

His kiss is aggressive and bruising and his hips rock down into hers, his hands busy through her hair and tracing the lines of muscle in her neck and shoulders. That soft touch is in such stark contrast to the work of his mouth that she's gasping in moments, clawing at his shoulders to pull him closer.

"We should move inside," he breaks away from the kiss to pant into her cheek.

She considers it. The night air is a cool patina over her skin that only makes his body warmer in comparison. He smells good, earthy and rugged, and she can hear the susurration of the lake against the dock. The moon's huge, unblinking eye keeps watch over them, and Kate shakes her head.

"No. Stay here for a bit. Don't stop kissing me."

"Never," he huffs, and he goes for her mouth again.

She does eventually let him persuade her inside and they share a shower. Afterwards her spine feels bruised where he pushed her up against the tile, and he's got a red welt at his knee where he smacked it into the glass of the door.

It makes her smile to see it and she traces one fingertip lazily back and forth over his kneecap. She feels good, loose and sated and not ready for sleep yet. Castle is only wearing boxer shorts next to her in the bed and his hair is making a damp patch on his pillow.

"You look entirely too awake," he grumbles at her. His eyes aren't even open, and his chest rises and falls dramatically as sleep hooks its temptress' fingers in him and draws him under.

Like this, he's boyish and adorable. Kate sifts her fingers through his hair and unfolds her legs, lays down beside him and stretches out. He hums and nuzzles into her touch, one heavy hand landing at her thigh and squeezing.

"It's okay," she tells him. "You sleep. I'll just read for a bit."

"Mm, no. Don't wanna go to sleep without you. Don't wanna say goodbye."

She laughs into the creases of his neck and wraps her arm around his head, holding him close to her. Her lips land at his temple and feather down over his cheek, to the corner of his mouth. He's such a sweet man and her heart aches with it.

"Not saying goodbye, babe. Until tomorrow, right?"

"Stealing my lines," he mutters. He really is fading though, and Kate continues the soothing work of her fingertips as they trace patterns across his scalp. She feels it the moment he falls asleep, his whole body relaxing in one great sigh.

She stays where she is for a little while, just watching. Energy hums beneath the surface of her skin and she gets out of bed, pausing to tuck him in. The cabin is pretty messy, what with five of them and the dog staying here. Kate sets to work cleaning up a bit.

There are dishes in the sink and she adds to the pile, but those can wait until morning. When they came inside they called Cosmo in and locked the French doors, and the dog watches her from his crate. She fills his bowl with some more water and she straightens the pillows and blanket on the couch. There are toys everywhere, have been practically since Lily was born if she stops to think about it. She moves them into a pile so she won't trip in the disoriented early morning.

Satisfied that the place is at least neat, Kate shuts off all of the lights and uses the bathroom before she heads for bed. Her wet hair is in a braid over her shoulder and it'll be wild in the morning, but the energy has left her just as suddenly as it came and she can't be bothered to deal with it right now.

Rick is an unmoving mass in their bed and she climbs in beside him, kisses his cheek and falls asleep within minutes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

Richard Castle wakes up to absolute silence for the first time in seven years. There are no little voices calling out in play, no yelling or singing. He can't hear cartoons, or Kate's soft voice. The cabin is silent and still.

He doesn't like it.

Rolling over onto his back, he groans and arches in the bed. He feels well rested, his body grateful for the chance to slow down. He likes sleeping in, likes to laze in bed once he's finally awake, but not alone. It's no fun without his wife's sweet kisses to greet him and the smooth length of her body beneath his. And there's far too much room without the kids climbing all over his chest and peering in close to his face.

He gets out of bed and steps into his slippers. His bladder is suddenly insistent and he takes a quick detour to the bathroom. In the mirror over the sink, he inspects his face. He has more and more lines around his eyes every day, and grey is just beginning to pepper at his temples. Kate has never given him the chance to feel unattractive. She's enthusiastic and continuous in her reassurance that she still finds him appealing. In fact, she might even find him more handsome now than she did when they first met.

Rick sifts his fingers through his hair a few times, but it's not cooperating. He gives up and leaves the bathroom, heading in search of his family. The French doors are closed, which is why the cabin is so quiet. They're outside, enjoying the warmth of this beautiful morning. Kate is stretched out on the lounger with a mug of coffee, and the kids run around on the grass.

"Morning, gorgeous," he leans over the back of the chair and kisses her upside down. "My spidey senses are telling me you've been up for a while."

Kate hums and kisses him again. He breaks away and comes to sit on the lounger with her, pushing on her until she gives in and moves over to make room. Her cheek rests at his shoulder and she draws her legs up to rest her mug at the apex of her knee.

"I have. Twins were up early. But they slept through. No intruders in our bed."

"I kind of missed them," he confesses. Kate chuckles and agrees with him. She's so beautiful this morning. Her hair has air dried into a riot of curls that she's wearing half up, a clip securing the front out of her face. A few tendrils escape to touch her cheeks. "More coffee?"

"Hmm, no. I'm good for now."

The kids haven't noticed that he's up yet. They're too busy chasing each other and the dog, charging across the grass. Reece seems to have discovered the joy of knee slides and he keeps throwing himself down and skidding a couple of feet along the wet grass. Rick ducks back inside and fixes himself a quick cup of coffee, his chest aching at being away from them even for a little while.

When he comes back out he sits in his own lounger, but Kate reaches across the gap and tangles her fingers with his. "Mind if we just stick around here today?"

"Course not." He takes a sip of his coffee. The machine isn't as fancy as the one they have at the loft, but it's still good. He sighs into the mug and closes his eyes. "Let's chill out today."

"Daddy!" Lily finally notices him and she charges up the steps and onto the porch with the twins right behind her. The three of them pile onto his lounger and Kate rescues his coffee, holding it for him while he loves on his children.

His cheeks are peppered with wet kisses and the three of them jostle to be in his arms, grinning and giggling. Kate has her phone out again and she's snapping pictures, but he concentrates on the kids. She always says she prefers candid shots anyway, wants to capture the truth of their life together and not something awkwardly staged.

"Good morning, my babies," he tells them. They settle down a bit, but they don't leave his lounger.

"Daddy, it's so nice today."

"It is, peanut. Maybe we'll be able to do some swimming later." Rick sifts a hand through Reece's hair to ruffle it. He pouts and flattens it back down with two hands, turning towards his mother as if to gauge her opinion. She gives him a nod and the soft touch of a smile at one corner of her mouth.

They chat to him a little more and then they wander away and get back to their games. Lily has a tennis ball and she's practicing, throwing it up in the air and catching it again. Rick takes his coffee back from his wife and finishes drinking it, sets his empty mug down next to hers.

"Hey, I was thinking," he says. It startles her out of her daydreaming and she turns to look at him, her cheek pressed to her thigh. She hasn't worn makeup since they got here and her eyelashes look so fragile and thin. He gets out of his lounger again, wanting her near, and he squeezes in beside her.

"What were you thinking?"

"While we're up here, maybe you should contact Tilly. See if she can make it over for dinner."

Kate sighs and drapes her legs over his thighs, her nose at the hollow of his throat. The last time they were here, around New Years, they hadn't been able to see Tilly. She had been spending the holiday with her father, who was very sick. He died in late January. Kate had grieved for the loss of a friend, her heart so big and full of hurt for Tilly and for Ralph.

"We've kind of lost touch a bit. I email her a couple of times a year, just to make sure she's doing okay. She asks about the kids."

"Is she still around here?"

Her hand rests at his chest and he tightens his arm around her, letting his fingertips ghost up and down the skin of her bicep. He didn't mean to dredge up any old hurt, but when he cranes his neck to see Kate's face she seems more thoughtful than sad.

"No. She left not long after Ralph. . .I think it was too painful for her to stick around here. She's somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, last we spoke."

"I'm glad she was able to get a fresh start."

"Me, too. Shame though. It would have been fun for the kids to meet her."

He hums his agreement against the crown of her head. Kate nuzzles his neck, her lips forming a kiss just over the spot where his pulse thumps. She's tactile this morning, which is only bringing it out in him, and he curls his free hand around her knee.

"Have they had breakfast?"

"Yeah. They wanted to wait for you but they got too hungry."

"That's okay," he laughs. Lily is like her mother, taking a little bit of time to warm up to the idea of food, but the boys are ready for breakfast from the moment their eyes are open. "You eat?"

"Some. I'll have more with you."

His stomach is grumbling, but he doesn't feel ready to move yet. The kids are racing across the grass, still in their pajamas. The bottoms of their pants are soaked with dew, but they don't seem at all bothered by it. Cosmo is lying on the deck, letting the sun-warmed wood heat him like a lizard.

And Kate. She's shifted in his arms so that she can see the kids properly. They're side by side on the lounger now, their legs stretched out, and she tucks her bare toes inside of his slipper and wiggles them there. He kisses her temple, the slash of her cheekbone, the corner of her mouth.

Eventually, his stomach grows too fervent to ignore. He leaves Kate outside watching the kids and he makes himself an omelette with cheese and bell peppers. It's pretty giant, so he brings a second set of cutlery and he shares his breakfast with his wife. She looks so mischievous, stealing pieces of his omelette and grinning around the fork.

The food attracts the twins and they come to steal some of it from him as well, using their fingers to snag mouthfuls. He doesn't mind, will never mind sharing with his family. Once he's finished eating he dumps all of the dishes in the sink and checks with Kate that it's okay for him to have a shower.

She asks to go first, so he shrugs and kisses her on her way past. Rick takes off his slippers and joins the kids on the grass, chasing them for a while before he gets breathless and has to stop. He tosses the ball with Lily to let her practice for gym class. She has his coordination, which he feels bad about, and she fumbles the ball more often than not. Poor Kate doesn't seem to have passed on her effortless grace to any of their children, but maybe they'll grow into it.

When she comes back out she's wearing a pale yellow sundress with blue flowers on it. It swishes around her knees as she moves, letting him see both the lovely, smooth lines of her calves and a generous vee of skin at her chest.

"Is this new?"

"Yeah," Kate looks down at herself and brushes her hands over the skirt of her dress. She's girlish and shy and he kisses her, sliding his hands into her hair. "I kind of bought it on a whim. A couple weeks ago when I took Lily to get new shirts. Wanted to surprise you."

"It's lovely. You're lovely."

That has colour blooming high up in her cheeks and she ducks her head on a smile. He gets a last kiss before she steps around him to call for the kids. The way they orient to her is immediate, three little faces so happy to see her, and Castle hangs back for a moment to watch her with them.

While Rick showers she gets the three of them dressed and ready for the day. He comes back out to find Jake running half-naked down the hall away from Kate. She's got his shorts in her hand and her voice is sharp, but their son is giggling and completely ignoring her.

Rick sweeps Jake up off his feet and holds him tight. He kicks out at Kate as she approaches with his shorts. A gruff noise rumbles in Castle's throat and he puts Jake back down, his hands firm at his son's shoulders so he can't run away again.

"Jake Alexander," he says. His voice is firm, and his son pales in his grip. "It's time to get dressed now. Put your shorts on, please. Do not kick Mommy."

He whines about it, but he takes his shorts from Kate and struggles his way into them. She has to help him with the button, and once she's done he plants his hands at her cheeks.

"I sorry, Mama."

"Thank you for apologising, sweet boy." Kate cuddles him close and kisses his cheeks until he squirms. She lets him escape and he runs back towards the bedroom to find his brother and sister. Kate is still kneeling on the floor and she rests the back of her wrist against her forehead. "Thanks."

"Dream team," he grins at her. Rick offers her a hand to help her to her feet.

Once she's standing, she arches a brow at him and presses her lips together. "Maybe you should get dressed now, naked man."

He has his towel knotted at his waist, but his chest is bare. Kate's eyes trace a droplet of water that trails from his shoulder all the way down his stomach until it reaches the towel. Her tongue darts out to touch her bottom lip, and when she lifts her gaze to his face her eyes are rich with desire.

"You sure you want me to put clothes on?"

"Yes," she says firmly. "Because then I get to spend all day thinking about taking them off you."

He groans, low and throaty, and he bows his head until his forehead rests against hers. She's laughing, but she lifts her chin to kiss him. Turning him around, she pats his butt to get him moving and he goes, closes the bedroom door behind himself.

Whenever Kate gets dressed first, he takes great joy in being able to tailor his outfit so that they match. He picks out khaki shorts and a t-shirt that's the same blue as the flowers on Kate's dress. It stretches taught around his biceps and across his shoulders and he inspects himself in the mirror.

This is the kind of shirt that makes his wife flirty and tactile. For a moment, he really considers whether he can handle her hands on him all day, the way her lips will land at the inside of his bicep and linger there. The teasing is worth it, always makes the eventual payoff so much more intense, so he leaves the shirt on and heads back out into the living room.

The kids are outside again, playing with toys on the deck, but Kate snags his hand before he can go out and join them. She looks wicked, her lips thinning out in a grin, and she ducks in close.

"I brought water balloons."

He really wasn't expecting that and he snorts on a laugh. "You did?"

"I did. Wanna ambush them?"

"I do. I really do." He lifts their joined hands to his mouth and kisses her knuckle. "But we just got them dressed, Beckett. Are you sure you want to soak them right now?"

A frown creases her forehead and she tilts her head, considering. "You're right. We can wait until later today. Gives us more time to plan our attack, anyway."

"They're four and seven," he chuckles. "I don't think it's gonna be too difficult to surprise them."

"Probably not, but it'll be so much fun."

Adoration, pure and clean as fresh water, pours through him. Rick bows his head and he wraps his arms around her, one low around her waist and his other hand resting between her shoulder blades. He's so grateful to have her with him in this that he can't even speak.

This dress reveals the puckered bullet scar at her shoulder and he presses his lips to it, takes a moment to just be grateful. He doesn't know who he owes up there, but someone has been on their side all this time. He told her once that he wouldn't change a moment of his past, because it has led him to this future, and he stands by that even despite all of the hurt.

"I'm okay," she says softly. Her hand is at the back of his head and her fingers sift through the fine hairs at his nape. "I'm here, baby. We're both okay."

"Sorry," he gruffs out. He manages to lift his head and he smiles for her. For a long moment she only studies him, and then she smiles back. "Just- I'm so glad that this is our life. Nothing makes me happier than having fun with you and our children."

She nods, and then she slides her hand into his and leads him outside. There's no time to be maudlin or overwhelmed with the kids dragging them insistently into their games. He has no idea what the rules are, but he stands where he's told to and he catches the ball when it's thrown to him.

When they eventually tire themselves out, Kate collects a couple of blankets from inside the house. The grass is dry now, the day already hot, and she lays them out. He ducks inside to grab the sunscreen and he makes sure everyone has a generous coating, including Kate. He gets to work lotion into her shoulders and upper back and he takes his sweet time, massaging away the tension she carries there.

"Thanks babe," she says when he's finished.

She tastes good, like love and toothpaste. He smiles into their kiss. After a moment, Kate tugs away and lays back. She stretches out across the blanket, her head in his lap. Her sunglasses obscure most of her face, but he traces patterns across her forehead. Every now and then, he lets the pad of his thumb flirt with her lips and he gets a kiss to it.

They stay outside all morning. The kids bring various toys outside and play with them on the blanket. Lily makes herself a nest with some of the pillows from the couch and she reads for a while. Occasionally she has to ask Rick what a certain word means, but she's a confident reader for the most part. He manages to keep his mouth shut and not spoil the plot in his enthusiasm, with help from Kate's warning hand resting at his thigh.

As the day goes slowly by, Rick eases further and further down until he's flat on his back on the blanket. Kate's head is resting in the crook of his arm now, making his skin sweaty at the inside of his elbow. It's not exactly like he minds. He cherishes being able to cuddle her close, still sometimes awed that Beckett actually wants to snuggle him right back. And then he blinks and she's Kate once more; his best friend, his wife.

By lunchtime, the kids are growing a little bit antsy. The boys keep staring longingly at the lake and then turning back to look at Rick instead. They're such good kids, and they're patient enough not to demand that they be allowed to swim right this minute. They carry on with their game, but it's halfhearted. Their funny, under their breath sound effects peter out to nothing.

Castle laughs and reaches for Jake, drawing his son across the blanket to cuddle him close. He goes easily and sprawls on top of his father's chest, his limbs starfished.

"Let's get something to eat, and then maybe after lunch we can do some swimming. What do you think, Mommy?"

"Sounds great. Come on then, let's get some food in you."

She sits upright and pushes her sunglasses up onto the top of her head, massaging the bridge of her nose to get rid of the red marks they've left behind. Her hair is still half up like it was this morning, but getting messier as the day progresses. It's lovely to see her so at ease, and he really _really_ loves this dress.

Reece climbs into her lap and plays with the ends of her hair, his head resting back against her chest. She wraps one arm around him and reaches for Lily with her free hand, resting her fingers at their daughter's shoulder.

"Ready for some lunch, Lilypad?"

Lily folds her book closed, two fingers still inside of it to mark her place, and she blinks at Kate. "Can I stay here and finish my page."

"Finish your chapter," Rick tells her. She turns to grin at him and then she dives right back in to the story. There's no harm in letting her stay outside while they put together something for lunch. It actually might be helpful to only have to corral the twins.

Rick lets Jake down and Kate does the same with Reece. The two boys run ahead of them towards the cabin, holding tight to each other's hand. Kate slides her hand into his in echo and he kisses her temple. Inside, she pulls things out of the refrigerator and Rick hands out placemats and cutlery for the boys so that they can set the table.

"Sandwiches?" Kate muses. She scrunches up her nose in thought. It's so adorable that he can't help himself. He steps up behind her and wraps both arms around her waist, swaying her on the spot. Kate lets her body come to rest back against him and she closes her eyes, her pleased face turned up towards his.

The moment the boys catch sight of them they groan and make exaggerated noises of disgust, but Kate only smiles and turns in the circle of his arms to kiss him. When she breaks away mischief twitches at the corners of her mouth and she looks at their sons from the corner of her eye. They're still milking it, but they're giggling and clutching at each other too.

"Sandwiches sound perfect."

After lunch, Lily immediately goes back outside to carry on reading. She's getting to an exciting part of the plot, and over lunch Castle chatted with her about developing a narrative and how to work in a good twist. He maybe got a bit too into it, and Kate wound up having to help both of the boys and wipe their faces after they were done eating.

He feels bad about it, but she shrugs off his apology and returns to her work at the sink. "They're my sons, babe."

"I know, but we're a team. I didn't mean to leave you with both of them."

She's working her way through a mountain of dishes and he's drying them and putting them back in their places. The boys are in the living room playing with toys, because Kate didn't trust them not to dive right in to the lake so she won't let them go back outside yet. They're out of earshot, and out of sight.

He lets his hand drop and he skates his fingers up the back of her thigh, sliding shamelessly beneath the skirt of her dress. Her hips snap forward towards the counter and she closes her eyes, refuses to look at him.

"Let me make it up to you."

"Not right now," she hisses, jerking her head in the direction of their sons. "Little ears."

"You can be quiet."

"Eyes. Whatever. No."

He lets his hand slide just a little higher, enough to tuck his thumb beneath the bottom edge of her underwear, and then he removes it entirely. As much as he wants her, he's not about to do anything their sons could see.

"How irresponsible do you think I am?"

"Very," she mutters, but she's smiling. Her head knocks against his shoulder and she starts up with the dishes again.

While they work, they make a plan of attack. Kate thinks they should ambush the kids with the water balloons before they swim this afternoon. She suggests filling them all and putting them in a bucket, so the kids can return fire without having to struggle at the faucet.

Once the dishes are done, she takes the boys outside. She's in charge of keeping the kids distracted while Rick prepares the ammunition. He's gleeful with it and he grins to himself as he fills all of the balloons, dividing them into two buckets he found in the garage.

They'll play kids vs grown ups, mostly because it's so cute to see the three of them team up together. He sets the buckets out on the deck, careful not to attract attention. Lily is still reading and the boys are explaining their latest game to their mother, both of them earnest and adorable.

A cough from him is their cue. Kate comes to join him and picks a couple of balloons from the bucket, weighing them in her palms. Satisfied, she beams up at him and bounces on the balls of her feet. He's seen this same burst of adrenaline through her when they've played laser tag or video games, and he feels his own enthusiasm come awake in his guts.

"Don't get Lily's book wet. She'll kill us," Kate whispers to him.

"You should probably get her, then. Better shot with the balloons. I've got the terrible two."

They've done this part before. Not with balloons, and with perps instead of their own children, but he feels the muscle memory taking over. He knows how to have Beckett's back, how to be her partner and guard her six with his own life.

She signals him, and they release their balloons at once. Kate takes Lily out, careful to land the balloon against her back so her book stays dry. Rick targets Jake first, leaving barely a second before he hits Reece as well.

Immediate, outraged screaming erupts from all three of them and echoes through the woods. They scramble to their feet and shake themselves. He landed a shot he's ridiculously proud of against Reece and his son is drenched, droplets falling from the ends of his bangs into his eyes.

Not one of the three of them can get any actual words out. They're gaping and wailing and Kate creases with laughter, bending double and clutching at Rick's arm to stay on her feet.

"Red bucket is your ammo, guys," he tells the kids. "Bring it on."

"We're gonna get you so good," Lily yells as she races for the dock to grab some balloons. The boys are right behind her, falling over themselves in their haste.

The fight continues until both buckets are empty and all five of them are soaked from head to toe. Kate's dress is translucent and clinging. Her smile is so wide and rich and she chases the kids across the grass, clutching them against her chest to get them even more damp.

They collapse to the grass, spent and delighted. The boys climb onto his chest and make themselves comfortable. Poor Cosmo ran for the deck the moment the water started flying, but now that they're still he dares to come back. He noses at them, snorts a breath, and then he curls on the grass and closes his eyes.

"That was so fun, Mommy," Reece tells Kate. She's alight with pride and pleasure and she grins at their son, accepting him into her arms when he rolls off Castle's chest.

Everyone takes some time out to get their breath back. The kids rehash the fight, giving a play-by-play that Kate occasionally interjects with the view from their side of the battlefield. When they start to get their energy back, the kids decide that now that they're wet it would be silly not to swim.

Kate bars everyone from the house, including Rick. He stays outside with the kids while she finds everyone's swimsuits. When she comes back she's already changed into her one piece, which makes him grunt and earns him a raised eyebrow. The kids put their suits on out in the open, because no one can possibly overlook them.

Rick ducks inside to put his board shorts on and take his t-shirt off. When he comes back, Kate's eyes linger at his chest for a long moment. He tries not to puff up with pride, really he does. It's just that he's never had the rippling, washboard abs he sees on billboards. He's an attractive person, he knows that, but being with Kate — standing at her side — sometimes makes him feel utterly unworthy. It's good to get that reassurance that she wants him, is proud to be his wife.

He shows the life vest to the dog, but Cosmo groans and turns his head away. It's so human a gesture that Rick chokes on a laugh and stoops to scratch the top of the dog's head. "Alright, buddy. I get the message. You don't have to swim with us."

This time around, there's no hesitation. Kate makes them wait for her to get in first, and then all three kids fling themselves straight off the end of the dock and into the water. Rick follows right behind them. The shock of the cold makes his breath catch and he yelps, but Kate is already cutting clean and graceful strokes through the water and the kids are bobbing like cheerful buoys in their life vests.

Rick helps the boys practice their kicking. He keeps his hands firmly beneath them as they splash. When Alexis was learning to swim she had been almost paralysed with terror that she might sink beneath the water and never come back up. Jake and Reece are a little bit more fearless than their big sister and they kick ferociously. They're not quite at the point of coordinating their arm movements just yet, but it'll be within the next couple of months he's willing to bet.

While he's busy with their sons, Kate swims with Lily. Their daughter is a confident swimmer and she paddles diligently alongside her mother. Kate goes slow for her, careful not to stray too far into the depths of the lake, and Lily looks so delighted to be keeping up.

That first time they came here, Kate swam right out into the middle of the lake and left him standing in water up to his waist, staring after the sleek line of her pale body as she swam. He keeps getting ensnared in the memory and having to shake himself back into the present, focus on Jake and Reece again.

After a while they start to tire and they swim to the shore. It's pebbles instead of sand and they yelp as they run across it in their bare feet. Once they make it to the grass they flop onto their backs to let the sun bake them.

Lily isn't quite ready to get out yet, but Kate looks like she's flagging. Castle offers to stay with their daughter and his wife climbs out and collects her towel from the dock. She wraps it around her shoulders and sits with her feet dangling into the water, watching them as they splash around.

When Lily does eventually grow tired and get out, she goes to join her brothers on the grass. It leaves Rick to haul his body out onto the dock and sprawl next to Kate. She laughs at him and sifts her tender fingers through his hair.

Bowing in two, she kisses his forehead and lingers for a moment. "Think we can get them down for their nap?"

"Probably. It sounds urgent."

"Yeah," she says darkly. "I need you."

That spurs him and he hurries to herd the kids into the cabin, Kate laughing along behind him as he goes. He gets them into dry clothes and down for their naps in record time, and he comes back out in search of his wife.

She's in their bedroom, still in her one piece, and he closes the door and pushes her up against it. His mouth opens against the hollow of her throat and he breathes raggedly as he peels the wet suit from her devastating body.


	12. Chapter 12

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

They're only just rolling onto their backs in the bed when the first stirrings of their children sound from the other room. Rick had her against the door, his hand over her mouth to trap the keening sounds that wanted out. Then he carried her to their bed and laid her down. He took his time for their second round, his hot mouth skimming her sensitised skin until she was shivering and whimpering and frantic for him.

"Put a shirt on," he grunts at her.

Her body is loose and lovely with pleasure and she wants to stay right here with him, feeling the sweat dry on her back and letting her muscles stop trembling. It's not going to happen, not anymore. Kate groans and heaves herself out of bed. Now that she's up, she might as well get properly dressed. Her dress from this morning is still damp, so she pulls on jean shorts and a tank top, cards her hands through her hair. It doesn't do much to tame it, but from the bed Castle whistles at her.

"Get up," she huffs at him. Hands on her hips, she turns away from the mirror to narrow her eyes at her husband. "You're not lazing there while I deal with them. Up."

"Alright, alright, I'm going."

He gets out of the bed and Kate tilts her head to watch him, her lips pressed together to keep the appreciative hum inside. It doesn't quite work. Once he's got clothes on, Rick steps in close and splays his huge hands at her waist, dipping his head to catch her mouth.

"Remember that time you were worried we'd get boring?"

"I was young and naïve," she laughs, shaking her head. Kate lays her palms flat at Rick's chest and lifts her eyes to his, brazen in the face of the shyness blooming in her belly. "Didn't know what marriage to you would be like."

Joy unfurls across his face like the vibrant tails of a kite in the wind. He leans in to touch his happy mouth to hers and then he pulls away again to see her. "And what is it like, Mrs Castle?"

"More than I dared to dream." It comes out more sincerely than she meant it to, all of the teasing stripped back so that it's just her, and him, and the truth of their hearts.

"The time of our lives," he says back, and then he kisses her again.

Right as his tongue darts out to seek entrance at the seam of her lips, their bedroom door pops open. They break apart to see the kids jostling in the doorway. The boys are on either side of Lily, holding tight to her hands. Sleep has made the three of them rumpled and adorable. Reece's hair sticks up in spikes all over his head and Jake's is flat and plastered to his forehead.

"Hey guys." Kate sits on the end of the bed and the three of them clamber up onto the mattress and cling to her. "Good naps?"

"Yes Mama," Jake says. He's wriggled his way into her arms and he lays his weary head against her chest. "Reece did wake me up."

The boy in question is standing up on the bed and reaching for his father, two little hands grasping Castle's shoulders to haul him in close. When he hears his name he freezes and sheepishness makes his face all scrunchy.

"Did you wake your brother?" Kate asks. Reece gives her a small nod and Rick scoops him up and carries him upside down around the room. He tells their son it's punishment, but Kate's not sure he can even hear his father's words over his own screaming laughter.

Lily is cross-legged on the bed behind Kate and her small fingers wind through Kate's hair, twisting pieces into braids. It feels nice, and Kate rolls her head on her neck and hums. The boys are getting restless and Rick takes them outside to run around.

"Hey, Lilypad." Kate turns to face her daughter. Sleep has made Lily's hair stick flat to her head on one side and Kate reaches out to ruffle it. "What do you want to do this afternoon? Any plans?"

"I was gonna read."

"That sounds wonderful. But I was thinking. There are loads of blackberry bushes in the woods. Grandma and I used to pick them and then bake them into a pie, back when I was about your age. If you want to, we could go see if we can find some."

Her daughter's face has come alight and she sits up on her knees and bounces. "That sounds so good, Mom. Can we please?"

"Sure."

"Can it be just us and the boys can stay here?"

Amusement wriggles at the corners of Kate's mouth and she lifts one shoulder in a half shrug. "Well, let's check and make sure Daddy doesn't mind, okay?"

"Okay Mom." Lily climbs out of bed and disappears out of the room in search of her father.

For a moment, Kate has to stay where she is. Loss is a living beast in the cavern of her chest and she breathes slowly through it. Her mother will never meet her grandchildren, wasn't there to soothe Kate's panic when she was rocking a colicky newborn at two in the morning. Johanna is gone, and Kate's children will never know their grandmother.

She must get more tangled in the threads of grief than she realises, because Rick appears back in the bedroom. He sits on the end of the bed beside her and wraps an arm around her shoulders. Warm lips land at her temple and he hums, rocking her just a tiny bit.

"Lily asked me if it's okay if you two have girl time. Mentioned something about Grandma. And when you didn't come out, I. . ."

"I'm okay." Kate lets her hand settle at his thigh and she squeezes. "Really. Just miss her. But I'm happy."

When she pulls back to look at him pride has transformed his face. He's smiling at her, so full of tenderness, and he reaches out to smooth his thumb along her bottom lip. "I know you are, honey. Want me to distract them for a bit longer, give you a minute?"

"No, I'm good. What was your answer?"

"Of course it's okay. Have your girl time."

"Thank you."

She captures his face in her palms and leans in, kissing him slow so that he feels in it the depth of her gratitude. His tongue darts out to touch her bottom lip and she hums, sliding her fingers into his hair. Want unfurls like a lazy creature in her stomach and she has to force herself to break apart from him.

"I love you," he tells her. His face is so earnest that she smiles and cups his cheeks in her palms. "Ready to face the hooligans?"

"I think I'm leaving you with the hooligans, babe. Going into the woods with mini me."

He grumbles something she doesn't quite catch and he gets to his feet. Taking both of her hands, he pulls her up as well. For a moment, his enormous arms wrap around her and squeeze so tight that she comes right off the ground. He's always been careful not to make her feel like she's not allowed to be sad, has never tried to force her out of her grief. Just being with him is enough, means she's able to replace what's been lost with gratitude for all she has now.

Out in the living room, Lily has her rain boots on and Cosmo's leash in her grip. She's waiting by the front door, impatience stitched across her pale face and the dog hopping from foot to foot. Kate laughs and stoops to kiss her daughter's forehead, promising to hurry. She gets a little bit waylaid by the boys clamouring for her attention, but Castle holds them off and she's able to get her own shoes on.

"We won't be too long," Kate tells Rick. He kisses her goodbye, leans over to kiss the dark crown of their daughter's head as well. The twins are at the back door, their little bodies pressed up against the glass in their yearning to be let outside. Castle hurries to deal with them and Kate and Lily slip out the front door with the dog.

"Are they all everywhere, Mom?"

"Pretty much, from what I remember. It's been a long time since I've gone blackberry picking in these woods."

"Do we need a basket?"

That stops Kate short. They're at the tree line now, and she turns back to face the cabin. "Yes. We need something to put them in when we collect them. You and Cosmo wait here. I'll be right back."

She hurries back to the house and heads for the kitchen, starts rummaging in the cabinets for something to use to collect the blackberries. The little wicker basket that she and her mother used to use is still here, at the back of one of the cupboards.

For a moment, it stops her completely. Kate bows her head and breathes slowly, feels the twenty five years since her mother's death closing over her head. The kitchen windows are open, and she can hear her husband and her twin sons playing together on the grass. Castle's voice is deep, the boys twin showers of joy over the top of that low bass note.

Her daughter is waiting.

Kate lifts her head and swipes her fingers over her cheeks, relieved when they come away dry. She used to think that solving her mother's case was the way to honour Johanna's memory, and it did help, but she's older now. Wiser, too. She understands that the best way to make her mother proud is to live fiercely and live well.

"Did you find one?" Lily asks when Kate rejoins her. She holds the basket up to show her daughter and Lily grins wide, reaching to take it from Kate. "Is this the one you and Grandma had?"

"It is. Grandpa must have saved it just in case I had a little girl of my own one day."

Lily's chest puffs up with pride, as it always does when Kate talks about her little girl. It's adorable, but she scampers off down the pathway before Kate can wrap her up in a hug and squeeze tight. Excitement is propelling her forwards even as she tries to be methodical in her search for the berries. It means she runs a few steps and then comes to a halt and peers into the undergrowth, her body thrumming with energy.

Kate has Cosmo's leash and the dog trots along happily at her side, Lily a few paces in front of them. It takes a while before they come across any bushes, but when they do appear there are suddenly hundreds, all of them teeming with life.

Lily picks the fruits and places them carefully in the basket. She's not chatty, never really has been. While she works she's quiet and thoughtful, inspecting each berry and only selecting the very best to go in their basket. Kate helps, showing each one to her daughter to get permission before she adds it to their haul.

As they work, Kate asks her a few questions about school and her friendship groups. Concern still lingers after their conversation last night about Lily being excluded from playing hair shop. Their daughter has her father's enormous heart and his generosity, but she still hasn't worked out how to charm people the way Rick does. It makes Beckett worry that the other children will take advantage, manipulate her even. Rick does his best to persuade her that Lily has the same Beckett courage as her mother and grandmother, that there's no need to be worried. Even so, Kate would rather hear it from her daughter.

"Have your friends started throwing sleepovers yet, Lilypad?"

"Some," she shrugs. Her hair is falling into her face and she tucks it behind her ears with both hands. "The popular girls have them."

Laying a hand at Lily's shoulder to make her pause, Kate crouches to catch her daughter's eyes. "Baby girl, if you'd like to have some friends sleep over at our house, just ask."

"Maybe."

"You know what you should do?" She gets another shrug from Lily. "Ask Alexis about the sleepovers she had when she was your age. Daddy was so great at thinking of fun activities for her and her friends to do. I think he made decorations, too."

Lily lifts her eyes to Kate's and she scrunches her face up, her little nose all wrinkled. "Daddy always does so much."

"It's just because he cares. But don't worry, I won't let him get carried away and embarrass you."

"Thanks, Mom."

Lily throws her arms around Kate's neck and squeezes tight. Her face is hidden against her mother's shoulder, and her sleek hair smells like apple shampoo. Right at the crown of her head, she still smells the way she did as a newborn when Kate would hold her for hours at a time, astonished that she made it, astonished that she had a daughter with Rick Castle.

The curve of Lily's skull fits neatly against Kate's palm and she holds her little girl close. She wants so badly for their daughter to bring people over, to spend time with her friends. She tries not to hover, to give her children space to flex their muscles, but it's so much harder than she anticipated. Lily deserves the same freedom to figure things out as Kate received from her own parents. Even if that means motorcycles and navel rings once she hits her teenage years, Kate is determined not to stifle her children.

When she lets Lily go they carry on in relative silence, but the air is thick with Lily's contemplation. Once their basket is full, they head back towards the cabin. Cosmo has eaten some berries straight from the bushes and the white fur around his mouth is stained purple. It makes Lily erupt with giggles every time she catches sight of the dog and she has to stop and bend double with laughter a few times on the walk back to the house.

When they finally make it home, Castle is in the kitchen making preparations for dinner and the boys are on the couch playing trucks. The sun is beginning to creep towards the earth and at the end of their walk Lily complained about it getting colder, showed Kate the eruption of gooseflesh along her arms. Kate sends her to find a sweater and she puts the berries in a strainer and runs some water over them.

"Wow," Rick says. He comes to stand beside her and he wraps an arm low around her waist, leaning in to kiss her temple. "You guys did great. Do we just eat them fresh like that?"

"We can do." Kate lifts one shoulder in a shrug. She shuts off the stream from the faucet and leaves the berries in the sink to dry. "Mom and I always made blackberry pie whenever we got a good picking. I thought maybe we could do that, but I'm not sure we've got all the ingredients."

Her husband smiles, sweet man, and he kisses her lips. It's fast, but so good, and she lets her body cant towards his. "We can run back to the store and pick up what we need. I don't mind, honey. Whatever makes you happy."

They don't need to decide right this second, so Kate leaves the berries where they are and comes to inspect the food he's preparing for dinner.

"It's just a casserole thing, but it needs to cook for as long as possible so I thought I'd just get it going now."

"Can I help?"

"I'm pretty much done, actually. Can you open the oven door for me?"

Once he's got the casserole dish in the oven, they clean the kitchen. Together they make quick work of it. Lily comes back wearing her favourite green sweater, the sleeves pulled down over her hands, and she hops up to sit at one of the barstools and watch them.

Rick asks their daughter questions about their walk and she tells him all about it. He's so good at drawing out her enthusiasm for the story and he asks for details she never would have thought to share on her own. She asks him about sleepovers as well and he grows animated, coming around the island and settling on a stool beside Lily. They start tossing around possible themes and decoration ideas, so Kate leaves them to it and goes to find her sons in the living room.

"Mama!" Jake calls out when he sees her. He reaches for her and Kate scoops him up and sits in his newly vacant spot. He cuddles in close and drives his truck up and down the length of her thigh, stopping every so often to crash the bumper of it against Reece's.

The boys chatter away, telling her about their game and about the dream Jake had during nap time. Excitement makes their speech difficult to understand, especially the way they talk over each other, but she catches something about dinosaurs and rocket ships. They're adorable, her sons, and she cuddles Jake tighter.

When Cosmo trots into the living room and they catch sight of his purple face they laugh hysterically. Kate explains what happened and then they want to try some blackberries and see if their faces will go purple as well.

Kate gives them a few each, not wanting them to spoil their dinner. They eat messily, doing their best to get the berry juices all around their mouths, and when they're done they turn two sticky, purple faces up towards Kate and Rick.

He creases with laughter, his face all scrunchy and lopsided with unfiltered joy. She loves him like this, and she lays a gentle hand between his shoulder blades and shares his smile.

"Hold still guys," he tells them. He grabs the camera from the living room and comes back to snap some pictures of the boys. Lily nudges Cosmo to sit with the twins as well and the dog does, his mouth open in a canine smile. He doesn't look as if he has any idea what's going on, but he's happy to be included and his tail thumps against the floor.

Jake and Reece look so proud of themselves and so amused that Kate doesn't bother wiping their mouths clean. They'll only get messy again at dinner. Instead, she follows them back to the living room and sits in the armchair to watch them play. Lily has her book and she sits in the other armchair, her nose scrunching up every so often when she gets stuck on a word or a phrase she doesn't quite understand.

Castle is a satellite, moving through the cabin and touching base with each of them every so often. He stops to help Lily sound out the unfamiliar vocabulary, and then he comes around and leans over the back of Kate's armchair to kiss her mouth.

She loves the chaos of their family, but lazy afternoons like this are some of her favourite times. They made some amazing kids, and she's quite content to just sit here with her cheek pressed to the back of the armchair and watch them.

Her husband seems restless, unable to land in one spot for more than a handful of minutes. She's not sure why. After what they did earlier, Kate is worn out, and she has no clue where all this energy is coming from. He's in the kitchen now, humming a made up song to himself while he rummages around. Kate watches him, her heart honeyed in her chest. She feels tender towards the whole world this evening.

Some of her mother's old recipe books are still at the cabin. In the city, Johanna didn't have a lot of time for baking or experimenting with fancy meals, so whenever they made it up here she would spend most of the trip in the kitchen. Rick rummages through them until he finds the right one and he comes back to sit on the arm of her chair and show her the page.

"This the pie?"

"Pie!" Reece's attention is snagged from his game with his brother. He climbs down from the couch and comes over to squeeze his way up into Kate's lap. His body is warm and wriggly and she bands an arm tight around him. A little finger lands at the drawing that accompanies the recipe and traces the ripe, purple fruits. "Those is the berries?"

"That's right, peanut. We can bake a pie with the berries Lily and I picked earlier."

Jake has been drawn in now too and he clamours for Castle to pick him up. Rick balances their son against his thigh and suddenly the four of them are crowded into the one armchair, spilling over comically from it.

"Mama, you and Daddy made pie when you were here last time ago?" Jake questions. He's sideways in his father's arms, his ear over Rick's heart, and he peers at her from beneath his long, dark lashes.

The muddled grammar makes her chuckle and she wraps a hand around her son's foot and squeezes. Tenderness laps at the shores of her heart. "No baby, we didn't. It was winter time, so there weren't any blackberries to pick."

Jake sighs and his shoulders slump as if he's disappointed in that answer. Her helpless eyes dart to Rick, but he's already splaying a huge hand at their son's back and jostling him to make him smile.

"Would you like to help make a pie? We can do it together, all five of us."

Kate darts a glance to Lily. This was supposed to be their thing, their girl time, and she doesn't want Lily to get her feelings hurt now that the boys are muscling their way in to the adventure. Her daughter is totally absorbed in her book, not paying them any attention at all, so Kate lets it go for now.

"Let's do it tomorrow, hmm?" Kate sighs. She's sleepy all of the sudden, that familiar exhaustion headache blooming around her left eye socket and stretching its tentative fingers out across her skull. "Don't want to rush it."

"Dinner's probably about ready," Rick says. He sets Jake down on the floor and stands up from the arm of the couch, a hand at the top of Jake's head so the boy can't scarper off. "Can you help set the table please, boys."

Kate helps Reece to slide out of her arms and down to the floor as well, and the three boys head for the kitchen to get everything ready for dinner. While they work, she closes her eyes and lets herself doze. Hopefully Castle is still holding on to all of that energy, because she's not sure she's going to be much use at bath time later.

Warm fingers skimming her cheek makes her start and her eyes pop open. Her husband's round, kind face hovers above her in the soft light of the living room. He smiles, and she turns her head into his touch. Her body feels heavy and she blinks a few times, does her best to wade up from murky semi-consciousness.

"Hey, beautiful. Food's ready. You wanna come to the table?"

"Yes. Yeah. Help me up?"

He takes both of her hands in his and tugs her to her feet, landing a kiss at her forehead once she's upright. His lips linger, and the boys wail their horror from the dining table. It makes her smile and she lifts her chin in search of his lips, kisses him closed-mouth and slow.

"Not in front of the little ones, Mrs Castle," he says against her mouth. His fingers flex and curl at her waist, over and over, and she lets her body stay close in the cove of his. "Come on. Let's get some food in you. Wake you up a bit."

"Mm, sorry." Kate scrubs a hand over her eyes, glad she hasn't bothered with makeup for the entire vacation. There are no mascara smudges on her cheeks, so the boys won't get to giggle and call her Panda Mommy this evening.

She leaves him to draw Lily out of the world of her book and she goes to take her place at the table with her sons. They offer her twin beaming smiles when she sits down and she grins right back. It makes Jake bashful and he ducks his head, but Reece blooms in the sunlight of his mother's attention and he wiggles in his chair.

"Mommy, we can never go home?"

"We have to at some point, peanut butter cup. Mommy has to go back to work, and what about all your friends at school? And Gram and Alexis and Grandpa. You'd miss them, wouldn't you?"

"They can come see us here," Jake pipes up. He's got both hands braced against the surface of the table and he's up on his knees in the chair, leaning over to peer into Kate's face.

She laughs and rests her finger at the end of her son's nose, nudges him back just a touch. "That's true baby, they could. But isn't it better in the city when we can see them any time?"

Jake sits back properly in his chair to chew on that. Lily comes to sit at the table and the kids bang their cutlery against the wooden surface while they wait for their father to bring over the casserole. He's got both hands around the dish, safely inside a pair of oven mitts, and when he sets it down on the table the kids cheer.

"It smells so yummy, Daddy," Lily tells him. Rick sits down beside her and she pats his arm, darts in to leave a fast kiss at his cheek. He looks adorably proud of himself and Kate smiles at him, catches his eye from the other end of the table.

The kids eat quickly as always, racing through their meal so that they can squeeze in some more play time before bed. Kate is too tired to keep up. She chews slowly, keeps finding herself almost nodding off and then jerking awake again.

"Hey," Rick says. The kids have left the table now, and she has a vague sense of them in the living room, but her husband is warm and close. Kate lets herself rest, her cheek against his shoulder. "Wanna go lay down and I'll get them into bed?"

"No, babe. Not gonna leave you to do it alone."

She promised him, once. In a dumpster, of all places, but it didn't make it any less sincere. She knows how hard it was for Rick to raise Alexis all by himself, and she never wants to do that to him. He deserves a partner who stands unwavering at his side, just as he has always been for her.

"Okay. Sit here for a bit then, let me clear up."

"You cooked," she says firmly, and she gets to her feet. Too fast. Her head swims and she reaches for him, steadies herself against his shoulder. Her vision is blurry and she blinks hard, breathes slowly until it clears up again.

"I really think you should rest."

Kate leans over and kisses the concerned scrunch of his forehead. Her hair falls in a curtain around them and she traces the curve of his ear. "I'm just tired. I'm a parent to twin toddlers. I'm never not tired."

He doesn't seem convinced, but she starts gathering dishes and he gets to his feet to help her dump them all in the sink. Neither of them can be bothered to wash up right now. She feels needy tonight, clingy, so she slides her arms low around his waist and hides her face at his chest.

"You're cuddly," he muses. He's petting at her, fingers sifting through her hair, and for once it doesn't make her prickle with irritation. It feels good, and she hums. "How about you go start the bath and I'll get the boys undressed."

Rick leaves a kiss at the top of her head and then he steps away, his hands at her biceps to make sure she's still on her feet. She moves for the bathroom, feeling like she's wading through molasses. Kate has been dealing with tiredness since she became a cop, and it's never like this. She can always fight through it, keep going until something forces her to take a break. Tonight, she wants to curl up and sleep for a week.

She goes through the motions of filling the bathtub without even realising she's doing it. Rick appears with two naked, giggly toddlers and he lifts them into the tub one at a time. They splash and play with their bath toys, and she stays on the floor even though the hardwood is grating against the bones of her butt.

Once the boys are out of the bath and dried off, all snuggly in their pajamas, Rick sends them to the big bed and tells Kate to go too. Lily took a shower while her brothers had their bath and she comes to find them in the bed, Castle right behind her.

"Alright, story time. Everyone comfy?"

"Daddy?" Reece butts in. "Tonight again Lily can read us a story?"

"Sure, if she wants to. Lilypad?"

Lily agrees, pride making her cheeks pink, and she darts from the room to grab her book. When she comes back the boys wriggle around until they're either side of her and they can both see the pages. Kate tries to keep her eyes open, but she just can't manage it. She curls up beneath the covers, Jake's warm body tucked in close, and she listens to Lily reading.

Once she's finished they each give Kate a goodnight kiss and then they disappear to their own room with Rick. He tucks them in, and she wishes she had the energy to join him but her body is leaden and unresponsive.

When he comes back, he eases his way beneath her until she's sprawled over his chest. His arm is tight around her shoulders and his lips flirt with her hairline.

"You're worrying me, honey. Are you getting sick?"

"God," she groans, because it's the only thing that makes any sense. "I hope not."

She feels weepy with exhaustion and a teardrop escapes from the line of her lashes. It slides down her cheek towards her jaw and Rick collects it on his fingertip. "Shh, sweetheart. Don't cry. It's alright, you'll be okay. Want some tea or anything?"

"No. Just want to sleep." He makes as if to ease her onto the mattress and she wails like a child, fisting her hand in the fabric of his shirt. "Stay with me."

"Of course. I'll stay."

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the ridiculous delay on getting this story updated. We moved house last week, so everything's been chaotic and I haven't had much time to write. We've also been having some ongoing internet issues that haven't helped matters. I'll do my best to get back to regular updates now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

Rick stays perfectly still for a very long time. His wife is out cold, tucked in close against his body. The weight of her is making his arm numb, and he's dreading the prickle of pins and needles when he eventually gets it free again. Her face is smooth and slack, the furrow of grumpy exhaustion vanished from her brow. Kate is usually a light sleeper, an occupational hazard made even worse by her becoming a mother. Tonight she's leaden, barely a twitch of her mouth to betray her dreams.

Eventually the call of a messy kitchen grows too fervent to ignore. Rick eases her onto the mattress as slowly as he can manage with one good arm. His other useless, static-filled limb hangs at his side and he flexes and curls his fingers over and over.

He pulls the sheet up over Kate and tucks it around her shoulders. His lips land at her forehead in a soft kiss and he feels the heat radiating from her skin now. They brought their travel medicine bag, so there's Tylenol if he can convince her to take some. She always refuses the meds he offers. It's a point of pride with her, to struggle through illness without needing anything to help. He'll work on it though, try and catch her in a weak moment.

Out in the kitchen, he turns the radio on to fill the silence. The volume is all the way down, so he can barely hear it over the running of the faucet. He carries his sleeping family close to his heart, wanting to curl around them in protection, and he won't disrupt their sleep with the crackly half signal they manage to get here. There are dishes piled all over the countertops and he works his way through them. His mind wanders, muscle memory taking over while he washes up and freeing him to think.

Cosmo lies next to his feet, hoping for a dropped morsel. Rick is glad for the company tonight, and he carries out a one-sided conversation with the dog. Once he's finished with the dishes and the kitchen is spotless again, he heads for the couch with a cup of tea and settles in with a book.

He brought his laptop on the trip with him, but he was never really intending to get much use out of it. Working is infinitely unappealing when his wife and children are clamouring for him to join in with their fun. The kids can use it to watch movies, but other than that he's happy for it to stay off until they get back to the city.

His book is pretty good, but he keeps getting tugged out of the narrative. The string that connects his heart to Kate's tugs violently in concern and he keeps lifting his eyes from the page to glance at their bedroom door, making sure there are no signs of distress from her.

Eventually, he gives up. Rick lets Cosmo out to go to the bathroom and he shuts off all of the lights. The dog lifts his eyebrows when he's told that it's bedtime, but he slinks into his crate and curls up anyway. It's barely nine, but Rick could sleep.

He goes through the motions of getting ready for bed, forcing himself not to hurry. When he finally climbs in beside Kate, something in him comes loose and he takes a deep breath. She hasn't moved since he left her, and she's still in her jean shorts and tank top from today. Her leggings and oversized shirt are on the floor next to the bed and he gathers them up.

When he pulls the sheets down from around her she grunts and scrunches her nose, turning her face into the pillow. He murmurs to her, soothing nonsense as he eases her clothes off her and gets her pajamas on instead. Her eyes are open when her head pops out from the neckline of her shirt, and he smiles.

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Bad." She's pouting, her hair matted and plastered to the side of her face. "Throat hurts. And my head."

Rick smoothes the hair back out of her face and draws the sheets up over her again. "Wanna take some Tylenol?"

"Mm, no." She shakes her head and a moan escapes her, one pale hand flying up to meet her forehead. "Oh. Bad idea."

"Okay, honey," he chuckles. His body feels cumbersome tonight and he manoeuvres awkwardly around his wife until he's stretched out beside her. Kate immediately seeks out the warmth of him and she curls up close, hiding her face at his shoulder.

"Feel bad, Cassle," she slurs.

He gets a hand at the back of her head and he sifts his fingers through her hair over and over, his thumb coming to stroke the soft down of her earlobe every so often. "I know you do baby. I know. Try to sleep it off, hmm? Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning."

She makes a little sound he takes as agreement. He shifts a little bit to get comfortable, and he's out almost as quickly as Kate is.

When he startles awake, three anxious faces are staring at him from the foot of the bed. The boys have a hold of one of Lily's hands each and they frown at him, but it's his daughter that speaks.

"Daddy, Mom isn't up yet?"

"No Lilypad. Mommy wasn't feeling too good last night, so let's let her get as much rest as she needs." He keeps his voice low, but his wife doesn't even stir beside him. She's got the sheets pulled up over half of her face and her hair spills in a riot of caramel out of the top.

Rick eases his way out of bed, careful not to wobble the mattress, and he shepherds his children out of the room. Jake reaches for his hand and tugs until Rick scoops up his youngest and holds him close.

"Daddy, Mama is so sick?"

"No kiddo, she just has a head cold. She'll be just fine in a couple of days."

The answer satisfies Jake and he squirms to be let down. He joins his brother and sister in the kitchen and the three of them start opening cabinets in search of something for breakfast. For a moment, Rick hangs back to watch them. They're adorable, leaning on each other's shoulders to peer into the cabinets.

Reece makes as if to climb onto the countertop and Rick strides forward and scoops him up, setting him on his feet on the other side of the kitchen. "No climbing. I'll get it for you. What were you looking for?"

"Cereals, Daddy," Reece grins. Both boys are somehow, inexplicably growing out of their pajamas again. He could swear just last night they fit fine, but now the hems are halfway up their ankles.

Rick pours a bowl of cereal for each of the kids and he swings them up onto the bar stools, lets them have their breakfast at the island. While they eat, he whips up a cup of coffee and some slices of toast for his wife. The kids chatter away, including him in their conversation as they share the adventures they had in their dreams.

"You guys stay here, I'm gonna take this through to Mommy. Don't swing on the chairs. Lilypad, you're in charge."

"Daddy, we come too!" Jake wails. "We check Mama."

"Don't baby talk, my man. Let's just give Mom a bit of space this morning, and I'm sure she'll have tons of cuddles for you in a little while."

Jake's face sours and he scowls at Rick, but he stays where he is at the island. Rick hovers a moment to be sure, but he forgets his irritation almost immediately and dives back in to conversation with his siblings.

In the bedroom, Kate is still fast asleep. Rick sets her breakfast down on the nightstand and he sits on the edge of the mattress. When he tugs the covers slowly down his wife mewls and rolls onto her back. She blinks up at him, her face all scrunchy.

"Hi there." He feels ridiculous, his face melting into a foolish, lovesick smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I could sleep another twelve hours." Kate scrubs a hand over her face. He gives her a second, gives her some space, and she lifts up to lean against the headboard. "My head feels foggy. I feel. . .spaced out."

She waves a hand in the air to demonstrate and he catches it. His lips touch her palm in a soft kiss and he curls her fingers over it, captures her hand against his own chest. "Made you some coffee and toast. The babies are desperate to see you, but I can hold them off until you've eaten."

"Might be smart." She wrinkles her nose. It sends a tide of tenderness through him and he leans in, kisses her slowly. When they break apart she sighs and lets her head drop forward until their foreheads meet. "Don't want you to get it too, babe."

"Worth it," he grins, and he kisses her again. She looks a little pale this morning, and he notices the effort it takes for her to even hold up her head. "You need to take it easy today. Rest up, kick this thing's butt."

Her eyes close in amusement and it's a long while before they come open again. "Mm. Might not have a choice. Reminds me of bed rest with the boys. I feel useless."

"Good job you're not pregnant," he huffs. After their boys were born, he had a vasectomy. It was his idea, and Kate had made him wait a month to be sure he really meant it before he went ahead. He knows it can be a sore point for some men, but he's got four amazing kids and he absolutely doesn't feel the need to have any more.

The second pregnancy was hard on Kate, and it killed him to see her so exhausted, suffering so much. Neither of them could handle that again, so he took steps to make sure they won't have to, and he has no regrets.

Rick hands her the mug of coffee and he lingers until he's seen her drink some and take a few bites of toast. It puts some colour back in her cheeks and he leaves her with a kiss to the top of her head. As he pulls away, Kate catches him with an arm looped around his neck and she kisses his mouth.

"I'm so in love with you, Richard Castle."

It still gets him. He bows his head in gratitude to the universe and he breathes in the sweet, sleepy scent of his wife. He tucks her hair back out of her face and smoothes his thumbs across the papery skin beneath her eyes.

"I love you too, Kate."

She pushes on him to get him moving then, giving him that sexy little smile from one corner of her mouth. Back in the kitchen, the kids have finished their breakfasts and they jump down from their chairs the minute they see him.

"Daddy," Lily says. She's got her hands on her hips and she's frowning hard, her eyes on the French doors. "It's gross today."

That makes him laugh and he ruffles her hair, draws her in to lean against his side. "I know. It's pretty rainy, huh?"

There's no storm today. That would be fine, the rain thrashing down against the earth and the angry mottle of the sky over their heads. Instead, the day is grey and miserable. It's raining, but it seems more like the air is wet. Mist swirls around the mountains and gathers in swathes above the surface of the lake.

Cosmo is waiting at the door to be let out, but he hangs his head and peers dejectedly out at the weather. When Castle opens the door, he lingers at the bottom of the porch steps. The second he's finished, he bolts back inside and heads straight for the towel Lily is holding out to him.

The dog loves getting dried off and he closes his eyes in bliss, wiggling and pressing his body so close against Lily that it almost knocks her flat. She's grinning and kissing the dog's damp head, so Rick leaves her to it and gets Cosmo some breakfast.

He has his back to the hallway, so when the boys cry out it makes him jump. They're yelling for their mother and hopping around in their bare feet, and then Kate's laugh weaves like a golden thread through the tapestry of their morning noisiness.

"Hi, my babies," she says. When Rick turns around his wife is crouching, an arm around each of the boys, and Lily has her own arms looped around her mother's neck. He snags his phone from the countertop and takes a picture of the moment.

Kate was saying she wanted more photographs with him and the kids, but she's just so staggeringly beautiful that he can't help himself. The kids break apart from her eventually, and Rick sees the work it takes her just to get upright again.

He hovers at her side, ready to catch her if she crumbles, but she swats at him. "I'm fine. Don't baby me. What have I missed?"

"Mommy, it is _sooo_ gross today," Reece giggles. Kate has moved to sit in the armchair and he climbs up with her, curling up small in her lap. "Even we can't go outside."

"Sure you can. You just need to get all bundled up in your raincoats and boots, and then you can go splashing in the puddles."

"Kate," he says firmly. She lifts her gaze to him and he shakes his head. "Don't think you should go outside, honey."

She snorts on a laugh and Reece laughs as well, even though he clearly has no idea what the joke is. "Babe, I have no intention of going outside. You can take them."

He sighs, and all three kids erupt with amusement, but it's for show. There's nothing he loves more than spending time with his children, and he'll sacrifice warmth and cosiness to see them run around outside.

"I'll light a fire for when you guys get back, and maybe we can make s'mores again? And you can dry off."

"Don't overdo it," he says automatically. He's really not doing it on purpose, and Kate must be able to tell because she narrow her eyes at him, but there's a smile blurring the seam of her lips.

If he had it his way, Kate would stay curled up in the armchair for the rest of the day. It's not going to happen, not with Beckett. He herds the kids towards their room to get them dressed and ready for the day and she follows right behind. Sure, he can handle it himself, does so every time she has to leave for work early. Something about the warmth and the closeness of his partner sends happiness through him in spite of that and he tangles his fingers with hers for a brief moment.

They work together to get the boys dressed. Lily has been getting herself ready since she was three or four years old, but Jake and Reece are twin balls of restless energy and they find it very difficult to stay on task. Once the three of them are dressed, Kate ushers him away to put clothes on himself while she supervises toothbrushing.

He bundles up cosy and warm in a sweater today. It's his favourite one, because of the way it makes Kate seek him out and come to lay her cheek to his chest. When he reappears Kate is helping the kids get their jackets and rain boots on. She gives each of them a kiss and sends them to wait by the back door for Rick.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" He slides his arms around her.

They're hidden from view, so he lets his hands splay wide at her butt and he squeezes until she lifts up onto tiptoe. Her body meets his and she sighs. When her eyes close he feels her lashes brush his cheek.

"I'm exhausted. Just need to sleep this thing off, I think."

"Go back to bed, Kate. I'll wear them out."

She kisses him, fast and sweet even if her lips are a little dry. He has to let her go and he shrugs on his own coat, steps into his rain boots. The kids are waiting with remarkable patience by the door, and Lily has Cosmo's leash tight in her grip.

"Say bye to Mommy, guys."

They call out their goodbyes and Kate laughs. She's standing with one foot flat against the wall behind her, arms folded across her body, and he sees the effort it takes her to look casual. With a bit of luck, she can get another couple of hours' rest while they're out.

Rick opens the back door and the kids spill out, hurrying down the porch steps and splashing their way across the grass. He's never been a big fan of wet weather. Kate likes to tease him about it, and since he's been with her he's become a lot more open to the joys of a gloomy day. His wife walking backwards ahead of him in her bright red raincoat, her fingers knotted with his. Her smile so wide and raindrops landing on her eyelashes. He sees the beauty in it now where he couldn't before.

"Daddy?" Lily calls back to him. Her hair is already plastered to her cheeks and forehead and she pushes it back with one hand. "Can I take Cosmo off his leash?"

"I don't think it's a good idea. Here, I'll take him."

It's not like the dog is disobedient, exactly. He just has a high prey drive, so if he sees a squirrel or a rabbit in these woods then there will be no breaking through the red mist of predator to get back to Cosmo, their goofy, gangly dog. Kate has the best chance of getting him to listen, that shrill police whistle sometimes enough to snag his attention, so Rick doesn't want to risk it without her.

Ahead of him, the boys are just reaching the boundary of the woods. They're hand in hand in their matching blue raincoats. Since they were babies, they've been completely in love with one another. Kate and Rick are both only children, so they'd been concerned about how they would handle sibling squabbling, but all three of their kids are gentle and patient and kind to each other almost all of the time.

Lily is at his side and she slides her small, freezing hand into his. He squeezes tight and she giggles, blinking up at him through the haze of rain. "Daddy, the best part of the rain is when you get to get all dry and put on warm clothes, isn't it?"

"I think so. And we can have some hot cocoa by the fireplace, and curl up in a blanket."

"Curl up with Mama?" Lily asks. The old name for her mother makes Rick's heart roll over in his chest, and he wishes his wife were here to see how much their daughter adores her.

"Sure, sweetheart. I'm sure Mommy would love to snuggle up with you."

She goes off in search of her brothers then and Rick stays a little ways back to watch the three of them together. They don't seem at all bothered by the rain's cold fingers creeping inside of their hoods and down the necks of their sweaters. Instead they're fascinated by the shoots that poke up through the detritus on the forest floor.

More than once, the kids stop walking and crouch down to get a closer look at some funky, alien plant they've spotted. A couple of times they ask him to take a picture so they can ask Grandpa about it later, look it up in his enormous leather bound encyclopaedia of botany. They explore the woods for over an hour. Rick keeps a careful eye on his children, making sure no one is shivering or their lips turning slowly blue. In this weather, most of the forest creatures are in hiding. They see a couple of valiant squirrels, grey fur streaked with rain and their ears twitching.

Eventually they make it back to the cabin. Rick lets them inside one at a time, taking off their boots and lifting them over the threshold so they don't track mud and water all through the house. Kate is in the living room, curled in the armchair with a knit throw around her shoulders. A fire crackles in the hearth and she stirs at the noise, her eyes blinking slowly open.

Rick hangs everyone's coats over the backs of the dining room chairs to dry off and he stuffs newspaper down inside their boots, lines them up beside the fire. Once he's done, he comes to sit at the edge of the armchair. The boys have disappeared to their room in search of toys, but Lily has climbed up with her mother and her wet head rests at Kate's chest.

"Hey there, beautiful girls. How are you feeling, Mommy?"

"Groggy," she admits. "Hurts to swallow."

Lily lays her hand at her mother's cheek. Her fingers are red with cold and chapped, so Kate captures them and pretends to nibble on them. It makes their daughter giggle and squirm and Kate lets out a soft breath of laughter. It sounds as if she doesn't have the energy for more, and she can hardly lift her head from the back of the armchair.

"Daddy, Mom needs ice cream for her throat. Do we have some?"

"I think we're all out. I'll go get some." He makes to move away from the chair and Kate grabs for him. Her skin is radiating warmth and he frowns, lays his palm to her forehead. "I really want you to take some Tylenol, Beckett."

"Yeah, _Beckett_ ," Lily pipes up. A smug grin puckers the corners of her mouth. Kate pokes their daughter in the ribs and she shrieks, collapsing into laughter against Kate's chest.

"I don't want you to make a special trip, babe. I'm okay."

"Would ice cream make you feel better?"

"I guess."

"Then I'll go," he shrugs. Kate knows how the suffering of the people he loves comes alive in his guts like a malignant beast, how it twists and chews at him. He longs to help, in any way he can, so of course he'll buy ice cream for his wife. "I'll take the boys. Take care of Mommy, Lilypad."

It takes him a few minutes to round up the twins. They're grumpy with it, because they're in the middle of setting up a new game, but Rick promises them that they can get a magazine from the grocery store and they race to get their sneakers on.

In the car, Rick turns the music up and the boys sing loudly. They don't know the words for many of the songs, but they make up their own words to fill in the gaps. He loves them so much, his dorky sons. They remind him of Kate, how it totally took him by surprise to learn just how much of a massive geek his wife really is.

When they get to the store he keeps them close, distracting them by asking them to pick out some things to make Mommy feel better. She hasn't really been sneezing, but he grabs a box of tissues just in case that stage comes later. He picks out flowers as well, choosing the most cheerful bunch he can find. They can't decide on an ice cream flavour so they pick out three cartons and the twins do an adorable little dance of glee in the middle of the aisle.

"Daddy?" Reece calls out to him. He's wandered over to a display of greetings cards and he's running his chubby fingers over them. "We can get a card for Mommy so she feels better?"

The store has a fairly limited selection, only one get well soon card, but it's not as excruciatingly saccharine as some of the offerings he's seen in the past. It's fairly nondescript actually, just the phrase and some flowers, so he shrugs and adds it to the cart.

"What else Mama like?" Jake muses. He's got his face pressed up against the bars of the cart to see inside of it and his face scrunches up into a frown. "Daddy, coffee?"

"We've got coffee at the cabin, bud. But that's a really good suggestion, Mommy loves coffee."

"Even Mommy does love coffee more than you?" There's a note of teasing in Jake's voice and he peers at Rick from the corner of his eye.

Castle scoops up his son and growls, blowing raspberries against the side of his neck. Jake squeals and thrashes in his arms and he sets him back down again, breathless laughter making his ribs ache. "I hope not, kiddo."

They finish up their shopping and Rick adds some fresh fruit to the cart in spite of his sons and their groaning. Kate always loses her appetite when she's sick, and usually she just wants to eat fruit and toast the whole time.

Reece has found the very minimal toy section of the store and picked out a stuffed animal for his mother. It's a panda and he clutches it close to his chest until they reach the register. Rick pays for everything and he ushers the boys out of the store. They didn't ask for their magazines, distracted by searching for things to make Kate feel better, and he wasn't about to be the one to bring it up.

Back at the cabin, he sneaks the groceries into the kitchen out of sight of Kate, and he calls Lily over to help put things away. While he's got the three of them all together he has them sign the card, and then he signs it himself and writes Kate a note. It's a sappy one, overwrought because he's hoping to earn an eye roll and that pink flush to the apples of her cheeks.

He slides it into the envelope and seals it up, hands it to Lily to give to Kate. It reminds him of when the twins were born and he brought their daughter to meet her baby brothers for the very first time. Lily had been three years old and she had carried the card and the balloon for her mom with such seriousness.

Reece takes the stuffed panda and Jake carries the flowers and they make their way over to Kate in the armchair. She's awake, her hair in a sloppy braid that must have been Lily's doing, and when she sees their offerings she gasps and sits up straighter.

"Oh, guys, wow. Thank you so much. Look at all of this."

She takes the flowers and the panda from the boys and they grin, suddenly bashful. Lily hands over the card and Kate opens it up. When she reads what he wrote her eyes meet his and she smiles, shaking her head at him.

"Mommy, his name is Pandemonium!" Reece blurts out. Kate lets out a burst of laughter and she pretends to shake hands with the bear.

After a minute or so the kids wander away back to their own fun. Rick has filled a jug with water for the flowers and he sets them inside. He comes back to squeeze his way in beside Kate and she drapes her legs over his lap, resting her cheek to his shoulder.

"You're such a good man, Rick. Thank you."

"You're worth it," he tells her. It's too quiet, too serious, but he can't help himself.

For a while they stay in the armchair together. Kate is half awake and he traces aimless patterns over the backs of her hands. He tells her about his morning with the kids and she trades murmured information like secrets, whispering to him that Lily did her hair and tucked her in and doted on her while he was gone.

Eventually he eases his way out from underneath her and makes sure she's comfortable. She's so beautiful, even pale and a little grumpy, and he lingers for a while just to watch her.

"I've got ice cream for you, sweetheart. And there's tons of fresh fruit. I can make some chicken soup too, if you'd like."

"Soup sounds good." Her eyelids flutter but they don't open.

He's glad she's asking for soup, glad to have something to do that might make her feel better, but he can't leave her just yet. Rick sinks slowly to his knees and reaches for her hand beneath the blanket, enfolds it in both of his. Lifting it to his mouth, he kisses each of her knuckles.

"I'm sorry you feel bad. Hopefully you'll feel better really soon, honey."

"You got me flowers and a card and a stuffed panda named Pandemonium." Her eyes open and she smiles down at him. Her hand lands at his cheek and she brushes her thumb over the prickle of stubble at his jaw in tenderness. "I already feel so much better. Just need to take a rest day."

"Of course. Family movie later?"

"Sounds good, but I can't promise that I'll stay awake."

He laughs softly and she smiles too. She's still in her pajamas and she's adorably rumpled like this. The hardwood isn't exactly comfortable on his knees, and he's not fully convinced he'll be able to make it upright again, but it's worth it. He married this woman, vowed to be there for her no matter what.

"You're staring at me." She prods his eyebrow with one finger and he laughs.

Heaving himself to his feet, he groans and leans in to kiss the crown of her head. "Sorry. I'll get on that soup. You rest."

He heads to the kitchen to get started. Chicken soup has been a sick day staple since Alexis was a tiny thing, so he knows the recipe off by heart now. He busies himself preparing the ingredients, and when he next turns around to glance towards the living room, Lily is balanced on the arm of the chair with her book in her lap. She reads to her mother, showing her the pictures every so often, and he has to turn back to his cooking so he doesn't get weepy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Living in the Spring Time**

* * *

It hurts every time she swallows, and her face feels puffy and tender to the touch, but happiness blooms behind the wall of Kate's chest. She's still curled up in the armchair. Lily finished reading to her a little while ago but she sticks close and her careful hands pet Kate's hair. She's got a mug of hot chicken soup and her husband is sitting on the floor, his back to the seat and his legs stretched out in front of himself. Her lazy fingers sift through his bangs to push them out of his face over and over.

He's catlike, purring into her touch, and she shares a secret smile with her palm. Usually, if she had to label it, she would have herself as the cat and Rick would be a dog. Goofy and energetic and so loving, so eager for affection. The reversal of roles is such a simple thing, but it fills her with tenderness for her husband.

The boys are playing on the rug in front of the fire. It's one of their quieter games, and the funny little sound effects they always make are hushed. Cosmo lies close by to soak in the heat from the hearth and every so often one of the boys drives their car down the length of his paw.

She feels weird. Her head is foggy and she is so tired that she feels as if she's moving through the world behind a pane of glass, unable to hear anyone properly. Her ears ache with the pressure in her head and she has a frozen bag of peas against the right one because the pain drove like an ice pick into her ear drum. In spite of all of it, a smile haunts the corners of her mouth.

Her family are so wonderful, so caring. The kids get it from their father, and Kate so adores him that she feels it like a caught breath in her chest. He's eager, scrambling to get her anything she needs, but all she wants is the people she loves best in the world to be close by.

The rain has picked up now, and Kate rests her cheek to the back of the armchair and watches it beat down against the earth. Everything is vibrant and alive with the nourishment and she wishes she could go out into it. Her skin prickles with the phantom sensation of raindrops, but it wouldn't be smart. She needs to stay tucked up warm and dry for today.

This head cold has put her outside of time. It seems to drip through the hourglass like molasses, but she blinks and long moments have passed unwitnessed by her. Her sons have moved to the dining table now. They're drawing, bent double over their sheets of paper. Their faces are scrunched in identical confusion and she watches them for a while.

Soon, they'll stop calling her Mommy. They'll be as tall as their sister and embarrassed to receive Kate's kisses outside of the school gates. She aches with the knowledge, even as she longs to see what they'll be like, the men they're going to grow into. Lily, her beautiful girl, is still curled up in Kate's lap. She's started another book now and she has it propped so that the back cover rests against Kate's stomach. Every so often, she snags Kate's attention and draws her back to the present to ask for the meaning of a word, or murmur the secrets of the latest plot twist to her.

At lunchtime, Rick makes grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for everyone. It's a favourite with the kids and he enlists them to help him. She watches from the living room, one hand over her heart to calm the silly thing. The kids aren't allowed near anything sharp or hot, but Rick still manages to make them feel useful. Lily is tasked with opening the cans of soup, and Rick lets her add a little bit of seasoning. The boys help make sandwiches, laying out the slices of bread and arranging the cheese their father cuts for them like jigsaw puzzles.

When it's ready, the kids sit at the table and Rick brings hers over to her in the armchair. She makes as if to get up, but the strength is curiously absent from her muscles. His wide, warm palm comes to her shoulder to keep her in place.

"Just eat there. Rest, honey."

"Mm," she hums on a soft breath. Her head rests against the back of the seat, but she accepts the mug of soup and the plate from him. "Thank you. Love you."

Rick bows over her, blocking her from view. His lips come to her forehead in tenderness. "It breaks my heart to see you hurting, Kate."

"M'okay." She's clumsy, fumbling, but she manages to pat his forearm where it's braced against the back of the couch. "Really. Go sit with them."

She manages a bite or two of the sandwich he made for her, but the toast scratches her throat. The soup is lovely, warming her from the inside. It spreads through her aching body like peace, like contentment. Sometimes she forgets how nice it is to just sit for a while.

Once she's finished she sets the mug down on the floor. Cosmo comes to poke his long snout inside and lick the last remnants of soup from it. She has neither the energy or the heart to berate him for it, so she just watches and scratches behind his ears. He can sense, in that peculiar animal way, that something isn't quite right with her. His slender head butts against her thigh and his hot, wet tongue darts out to nuzzle at her palm.

She keeps dozing, entirely by accident. It's as if she's on a sliding scale of consciousness, sometimes tipping right over into sleep and then tumbling back to awareness again almost as quickly. It's making her feel groggy and outside of time, but her body craves the rest. She's doing her best to listen, to give her body what it needs. It's worked so hard, done so much. She owes it this much.

The kids are growing restless now that they've eaten. They stare longingly out of the window. Jake and Reece have their noses pressed to the glass and they sigh. Even Lily seems to be anxious with cabin fever, having lost interest in her book. She's on the floor with Cosmo, but her petting seems half-hearted.

"How about we do some crafting, guys? Sound fun?"

Rick gets cheers of delight for that and the kids scramble to sit at the dining table and wait to see what their father will concoct for them. As he gathers what he needs he hums to himself, busy and so pleased to be busy. It makes her smile and she flutters her fingers at him in a wave as he goes by.

It stops him in his tracks and he comes to lace his fingers with hers. He kisses her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips before she can pull away. She's smiling, and she tilts her head to study him.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're cute. Carry on."

He does, and pleasure colours the apples of his cheeks. Rick sets out a couple of the plastic trays that Kate's father usually uses when he's barbecuing to house the prepared kebabs. The kids squirt some of his shaving cream into each tray and then add food colouring. He must have found it at the back of the cabinet from some long ago baking endeavour.

The kids use spoons to swirl the mixture around until it makes a pattern, and then they place a sheet of paper onto the tray to create their masterpieces. It's fairly messy, and Jake winds up with shaving foam smeared across his cheek.

Part of her longs to join them at the table, but she truly doesn't have the energy to sit upright in a chair. Instead she watches from the living room and offers her murmured encouragement. Her children are so proud of their artwork and they show her each one before they spread their papers out across the kitchen counters so that they can dry.

After they've helped Rick to clean up, the kids suggest a family snuggle pile on the couch and a movie. It takes a lot of effort to heave herself from the armchair to the couch, but she manages it. She props herself in the corner with a blanket and Jake comes to curl up on her chest. The warm weight of his body does wonders to soothe her and Kate lets her lips flirt with the crown of his head. She soaks in the familiar smell of her son and her hand traces patterns over his back.

Rick settles at the other end of the couch and he snags her feet, settling them in his lap. She stole some of his cosy socks from the drawer and she wiggles her toes inside them. He squeezes her big toe and tugs on it until she grunts. Lily is tucked in close against her father's side, her arm hooked through his, and Reece stretches out in the middle section of the couch. He lays along Kate's legs and he kisses her knee through the cotton of her leggings.

They have a few random movies saved to the laptop and the kids squabble among themselves until they settle on a choice. Kate is already struggling to keep her eyes open, her head lolling against the back of the couch. From the sound of it it's one of the animated ones they've seen a hundred times before.

"Mama," Jake whispers to her. He's wriggled up her body to get his mouth at her ear and his hot breath makes her shiver. "You like this movie?"

"Sure, baby. It's a good one, huh?"

"Even it is my favourite."

His attention is immediately suckered back in by the action happening on screen. At the other end of the couch, Rick has his fingertips tucked down inside the top of her stolen sock. His hands are warm against her cold ankle. It's mindless the way he touches her now, a habit, but she still gets a little thrill from the contact. There were times, back when she first new him, where she thought they would never get to do this. That summer he was in the Hamptons with Gina, she thought of them as two ships passing silently in the night. Graceful and sleek, but wounded and rotten underneath. Still, even now, she's warm with gratitude whenever she gets to hold his hand.

The kids quote along with the movie, doing their best impressions of the characters. They goad Rick into joining in as well and his enthusiasm matches theirs. He has his mother's flare for the dramatic, and no small amount of her talent. Kate barely has the energy for laughter. It escapes as little puffs of air from the centre of her chest that ruffle Jake's hair.

Halfway through the movie the kids get restless, so Rick pauses it and everyone takes a bathroom break. He puts together some bowls of snacks for them to enjoy during the second half of the movie. The kids crunch loudly on their chips and offer some to Kate, but even just watching them eat is making her throat hurt. Her stomach is a pitiful, mewling thing, but even opening her mouth to eat anything makes her jaw ache. She can feel Rick's assessing eyes on her, but she finds she doesn't mind. If he figures out a way for her to be able to eat, she'll be only grateful.

It's only been fairly recently that the twins have gotten interested in movies at all. They're old enough now to focus their attention for an hour and a half, even if they do have to take a break in the middle most times. Rick has taken them to the movies a couple of times, but they prefer to watch at home where they can roll around on the couch and chatter without getting scowls from the other moviegoers.

"Mama," Jake pats her cheek.

Kate blinks hard and turns her head to see her son. He's smiling, that pure, childish joy he wears so easily making his face open with light. "Yes, baby. I'm with you."

"Maybe if you want, Daddy get ice cream? For your poorly throat."

HIs tiny, clammy hand lands at the side of her neck and rests there. All three of the kids are concerned, but Rick is doing his best to keep them distracted. They have a proclivity for melodrama. More than once, Kate has gotten a head cold and had to witness the thrashing despair of her children, quite convinced their mother is on the brink of death. By now, she and Rick have learned that it's better not to allow them to wallow in it.

"Ice cream sounds really nice, actually."

"Daddy!" Jake bellows.

Reece has climbed into his father's lap and he scowls at his brother for snagging Rick's attention. His face is still captured between Reece's hands, his cheeks puffed out, but his head turns towards Jake.

"Yeah?" His voice is muffled by the squish of his face and the boys giggle.

"Mama does want some ice cream."

"Just Mommy?" Rick lifts an eyebrow at Jake. Their son shrieks with laughter and hides his face in his hands, shaking his head.

"Me too! All of us can have ice cream."

"Oh can you?" Rick laughs, but he's already standing up from the sofa. He lets Reece drop to the couch cushion and their son bounces a couple of times and then rolls over onto his back, sprawling.

Lily had been sitting tall and regal at the opposite end of the couch, but the pale belly of her little brother is too rich an opportunity to ignore. She lunges, pinning him with an arm across his abdomen, and she blows a noisy raspberry against his stomach.

He screams with laughter and thrashes in her grip, his head tossed from side to side. Kate lets her foot rest at Reece's shoulder to help Lily keep him pinned in place. Jake breaks away from her arms and crawls down the couch to join his siblings in their tangle of limbs.

When Rick comes back with their ice cream the three of them are still climbing all over one another. The boys have teamed up to try and get some payback against their sister, but Lily is agile and fast and she wiggles out of their grip just as quickly as they manage to get a hold on her.

"Alright, crazy people." Rick bands an arm around each of the twins and scoops them up, holding them both in the air. They must be heavy, but Kate refuses to let her concern wash over her face. Her husband knows his limits, she has to work on believing that.

He sets the twins down in the armchairs. Across the room from each other, and with Lily safely on the couch, they can work on calming down. Their little faces are red with exertion and delight, and their hair sticks up over their heads. It's just as thick as their father's, grows just as quickly. They just got it cut a couple of weeks back, and already they need to go back to the salon.

They love it there, so it's not a problem. The chairs are shaped like trains and they get to look at the magazines with pictures of their favourite cartoons. It'll be Rick that takes them anyway, so Kate lets the concern slip like an untethered balloon into the whole blue truth of the sky.

Rick has given the boys each a bowl of ice cream and one to Lily as well. Their daughter has Kate's feet in her lap and she eats happily, giving Kate a closed-mouth smile around her spoon. When Rick comes back he squeezes his way in beside Kate. Her bowl is cold against her thighs, but the ice cream is lovely. It soothes the rawness of her throat and she hums, letting her head loll back against Rick's shoulder.

All five of them are probably spoiling their appetites for dinner, but that can be Rick's problem. She's selfish enough to let him take care of her, to curl up small in his arms and let him be the one to worry about things. His gentle fingers are sifting through her hair, smoothing it back away from her clammy forehead.

"Okay?" he murmurs into her ear. The kids are chattering noisily about something, their favourite ice cream toppings maybe, and she's glad not to have their scrutiny for a few moments.

"Mm. My head feels heavy."

"Wanna get back into bed? You can eat dinner there, I'll keep them occupied."

She considers it for a long moment. The call of sheets and pillows is loud and alluring as a siren song, and she could so easily slip down into drowning. "No. I'll stay out here for dinner and go to bed after. Family snuggles are really helping."

"I'm glad." He kisses her forehead. It takes more dexterity than she knew he was capable of, but he manages to ease his way out from beneath her and settle her back against the cushions. "I'll get started then. Any requests?"

"Nothing spicy."

He chuckles and leans in to kiss her again. Kate lifts her chin to catch his mouth properly. All three kids cry out in horror and she smiles into their kiss. He breaks away from her, and on his way to the kitchen he ruffles Lily's hair. She scowls at him, but Kate pokes her toes into their daughter's side and worms a smile out of her.

Kate draws her legs up then and curls them beneath herself. Her eyes close without her conscious permission and she hums. Right now she feels on a precipice. She could wake up tomorrow and feel much better, or feel a hundred times worse. There's no way to know. The thought makes her groan.

A moment later, two small hands come to her face. "Mommy?"

"Hi, peanut," she says without opening her eyes. Her son's hot breath washes over her cheek. His kisses are warm and sloppy as they travel down her face and towards the creases of her neck. He smells like chocolate. Kate bands an arm around him and draws him up onto the couch with her, tucking him in close. Of the three, Reece is the least likely to consent to snuggling, but he comes easily today.

"Sore?"

"My throat hurts," she murmurs. There was a brief peak this afternoon, but now it's starting to get worse again. Her voice comes hoarse and raggedy. The blockage in her sinuses has her half deaf. "But I'm okay. Ice cream is helping."

Reece considers that for a moment and then he pats her arm. "And Daddy."

"Of course. And the three of you as well. You always make me feel better."

Kate opens her eyes in time to see the pride that fills her son at her words. He wiggles with happiness like a grub, and his hand fists in her shirt as if to keep her close. Kate smoothes her hand over the curve of his skull again and again, half-heartedly trying to make his hair lie flat.

He stays with her until dinner is ready, and then the call of food propels him right to the table. Kate tries to get up, she really does, but her body feels curiously heavy. Her legs aren't cooperating, and she can't seem to support the weight of her own head.

"Whoa, hey." Rick's hands come to her shoulders to keep her in place. He ducks in close, his face hovering disembodied in front of her. "You stay right there. Rest."

"We have rules."

They don't normally let their kids eat on the couch, or do it themselves in front of them. Every now and then, they'll indulge in takeout and a movie after their children are in bed, but it's not a good habit for them to get into. Kate knows how much Rick values family mealtime around the table, how he loves to hear the stories of everybody's day. She's more than happy to help him enforce the tradition.

"Rules don't apply when you're sick. Do you want a blanket?"

She's shivering, and she manages a nod. Rick snags the fluffy throw blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it over her, making sure to tuck the ends in around her socked feet.

"I know you always lose your appetite, so I just made you some chicken soup, but if you want something else just say and I'll get it."

He passes her over the mug of soup. Kate holds it in one hand, and with the other she reaches for him. Fingers curled in the neckline of his shirt, she keeps him close. "I love you so much."

She feels weepy with it. Rick chuckles and kisses the top of her head. His tenderness is so absolute, so unwavering. It always has been with her. She never thought she would fall for a man who is soft, a man who yields. Until she met Rick, she didn't know just how good it could be. And anyway, when it counts he's as firm and resolute as she is.

"I love you too, honey. Shout if you need anything."

Left alone with her soup, Kate drinks slowly and watches her husband and children chattering at the dinner table. She really hopes she hasn't contaminated any of them, but they're a close family physically as well as emotionally. All four of them will probably come down with it sooner or later, but she's quite happy to play nurse to these people she loves more than her own self.

After dinner is finished with, Kate heads for their bedroom. Her body is shutting down piece by piece, and she wants to sleep so desperately that she could cry. Rick is wrestling the boys into their pajamas, but Lily follows Kate through and tucks her in.

"I can read to you Mom, if you want to."

"That sounds wonderful."

Lily climbs in and props herself up against the headboard, book in her lap. She starts from where she herself is up to, right in the middle of the action. It hardly matters. Kate is barely awake, listening more to the intonation of her daughter's voice than the words themselves.

When Lily was born, Kate had marvelled at how amazing it was to have a mother-daughter relationship once more. Granted, she's on the flip side of the coin now, mother to a dark-haired, serious little girl, but so much of the joy is the same. Lily has the book propped against her knees, one hand holding it open, and with the other she strokes Kate's hair.

It feels so good, and she's so spaced out, that it takes Rick's arrival for her to realise that she's not nine years old. That this is her baby girl, not her mother. Her husband's rumbling voice speaking to their daughter makes her smile and she snakes a hand out from beneath the covers for him to hold. His skin is warmer than hers usually, but tonight he feels cool and soothing.

"You're hot. Let me get you some Tylenol."

She doesn't want to take the drugs, because her throat hurts so bad now that even the thought of opening her mouth makes her wince. Rick coaxes her upright, his hands everywhere like anxious birds. His soft words of encouragement are enough, and she manages to swallow down the medication.

"That'll help, sweetheart. Try to get some sleep now." Kate lies back down, her face mashed against the pillow. The pain in her ear is back and she grunts, presses a hand to it. "I'll get you the ice pack. Hang on."

He's back in seconds, pressing the lovely cold of the pack to her ear. It helps, and she manages a small noise of gratitude. The selfish child in her wants him to stay, wants to fall asleep against the solid wall of his chest. Their children need him more than Kate does, so she lets him go.

Sleep washes over her immediately. When she wakes up again, it's already morning. A gap in the curtains lets the light come creeping inside. Kate rolls over to see the great hulking mass of her husband's body in the bed beside her. He's out cold, his face just peeking out from beneath the covers. She swallows, tentative, and finds that her throat hurts less than yesterday.

She feels rested, feels good. Rolling onto her back, Kate scrapes a hand through her hair and hums. She feels sort of disgusting, illness like a patina over her skin. The shower calls to her, but she wants to be lazy with Rick before the little ones come through.

Kate checks the time before she wakes him. More than once in the early days of their relationship, she was so eager to spend her morning with him that she'd wake him at six and he'd be grouchy for the rest of the day. It's already past eight, so she strokes a fingertip down from his hairline to his chin. He makes a little noise, a sort of grunt, and a smile stretches wide and brilliant across her mouth.

Leaning in close, Kate leaves little kisses at his cheek, his nose, before she kisses his mouth. When she draws back his eyes are open, blearing and blinking up at her.

"Morning, sleeping beauty."

"Hi gorgeous," he says back. His voice is a rumbling thing trapped in his throat and it goes straight to her guts. "You seem brighter today."

"I feel much better. Just needed to sleep it off i guess."

"I'm glad." A hand comes to the back of her neck and he draws her down to him, kisses her properly. It's so good, and she's missed him. Even though he was so close yesterday, hovering and concerned, she was so out of it that she feels as if she hasn't seen him in days.

Kate slides a knee over his lap and sinks down. It makes a gap in the sheets that allows cold air in and he grumbles, but his thick fingers are at her hips. She tries not to take things too far, mindful that any moment the door could pop open and their children could come spilling into the room.

Instead, she keeps it as sweet as she can. She kisses him, her absent-minded fingers tracing the shell of his ear. He grows more and more urgent beneath her until she has to break away and roll off him.

"Kate- God," he gasps. She feels cruel, so she gives him some space to figure himself out again. "Can we. . .shower?"

That makes her laugh, loud and bursting free from the very centre of her chest. He's so earnest, so eager, that she has to dart back in and kiss the corner of his mouth.

"Alright. Quickly."

He clambers out of bed, gets himself tangled in the sheets and almost goes to the ground. One knee on the floor, he gazes up at her when she comes around the end of the bed to help him. "Marry me?"

"Already did, goofball." Kate helps him up and keeps a tight hold of his hand. Fingers laced, she brings him into the bathroom with her. He's stumbling in his eagerness, crowding her really, and he's trying to undress her before she even has the door locked.

After he's had his way with her he gets out and leaves her alone to wash her hair and shave. She takes her time, relishing in the feeling of the water across her shoulders. Rotating her head on her neck, she feels the last of yesterday's tension slip away, and she watches as it circles the drain.

When she gets out of the shower there are voices out in the kitchen. She hurries through dressing, her heart crying out in yearning to be with her babies. She rubs a towel through her hair and winds it into a braid, too impatient to spend the time drying it this morning.

"Mommy!" All three of the kids cry out when they see her up and dressed and herself again.

They charge, and Kate sinks to her knees and gathers them into her arms. Lily's face is pressed against her neck, the boys fidgety and overexcited. Even the dog seems delighted to see her. His tail wags and he licks her face, butting his slender head into her.

"Okay, guys, let's let Mom breathe." Rick breaks it up after a while.

Lily and Reece disperse, but Jake is clingy still. Kate scoops him up into her arms and carries him with her into the kitchen. He lays his cheek against her shoulder. Sleep is still clinging to him, her baby boy, and she rocks him a little as she peruses the cabinets in search of breakfast.

"Eggs?" Rick suggests. He's at her side now, and he lays a wide palm against Jake's back. "Or I think there's still some bacon left."

"Ooh." She plays it up to get a laugh out of their son. Sure enough, Jake giggles and pats her cheek as if he's pleased with her. "Bacon sandwich, yes. I'm starving."

Rick makes for the fridge, but Kate stops him. She still feels loose from the shower, still wants him. Lifting on tiptoe in her flat feet, she kisses him. It's soft, mindful of the boy trapped between their bodies.

"I'll make it. You take the little man."

She passes Jake over into his father's arms. Watching them for a minute, she waits until they're settled back at the table with Lily and Reece, and then she busies herself with making breakfast. Her stomach is a living thing in the pit of her belly and it cries out. Once she's made her sandwich she joins her family at the table and eats quickly to appease the angry beast.

"Mom," Lily says quietly. The boys are pestering Rick, wanting cookies, so Lily has Kate's undivided attention. "I'm really glad you're feeling better."

"Thank you, Lilypad. I am too."

* * *

 **A/N:** I know an absolutely obscene amount of time has passed between updates, so I want to thank you for sticking with me and this story. I've had a fairly hectic summer, but I'm back at school now and hopefully the routine will help me to get updates out to you guys much more frequently. If you don't know, my dear friend griever11 is running a streamed convention for the Castle fandom this weekend and next weekend. I have a few panels, which I'm really excited about, and I'd love to hear from you guys! You can visit either the castleficstream twitter account or my own, which is reallybeanie, for more information.


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